ANEWAUGUST

Hi there...

It seems like you have alot of questions that only you can answer.

The rooms of AA might help you find those answers.

You could try a few meetings..listen, and possibly learn. You don't have to stay, or do anything, just go and try.

What have you got to lose?

tamcor123

for me alcahol wasnt the problem it was the solution and a bad one at that. AA gave me a better solution and it was thirteen years since i have needed that old solution. In the old days if it was sunny out i would drink,if it was cloudy i would drink,if i was happy i would drink,if i was sad i would drink, all i needed was a reason and i would drink, but in my head i did not have a problem. I was powerless over alcahol. Today iam not powerless over alcahol as long as i dont drink.

least

I agree.

Kmber2010

SS, Hubby is not special forces but when I say mission it is when he sent somewhere (anywhere in the world) to fix a plane. He does have an extremely dangerous job though based on the nature of what he does whether here at his station or when he is MRT.

I will say this on your drinking - I believe you have a drinking problem. You can definitely get through a day without drinking believe it or not. Alcohol lures us in but it is our mind that is the problem. Our mind tells us that we must have that buzz or feeling and once we take that first drink our reasoning goes out the window and then the alcohol takes over.

I didn't believe I was alcoholic because I "chose" to drink. Rightly so in the beginning and probably for many years. I didn't have alcohol in the house and didn't crave or feel the need for it. Somewhere's along the line I leaned on it as a crutch to make me feel good when something went wrong or to celebrate when things were good. It became part of my routine and I didn't notice it because I "chose" to drink.

My drinking became everyday and it led to panic attacks and anxiety. My body started breaking out with spots and my liver count rose. My hangovers were now me just begging to for it all to end and I will never do it again. Yeah....alcohol was killing me.

I accepted that I am an alcoholic and until you do and stop drinking and begin recovery it will only worsen I can assure you.

Sobriety is the only way and you have the support of SR to see it through. It won't be easy and you may have the typical withdrawals all of us go through but they are temporary. Until you decide to stop and you will never be able to free yourself.

Drinking is no solution and I urge you to toss the booze in the sink and do what you need to do. Reach out for help and it will be there for you. You are not alone.

SomeoneSomwhere

There is a meeting at a church really close to me tonight at 7. I might go. I'm kind of scared though

bdiddy5522

You wouldn't be normal if you weren't scared. Everyone feels that way the first time. Just keep in mind everyone there is an alcoholic, just like you. The only difference is that they have found a solution. Not only that, they are willing to SHARE this solution with you. It is a free gift if you just accept it. Let us know how it goes.

Toronto68

Someone, maybe just give it a try, since they are so close. If you feel upset about going back to drinking after you decided not to, there might be a comfort in sitting with people who understand how that feels, in person. You could also plan on giving yourself a treat of some kind as a reward for trying it. Sometimes it works to use that method when not going to meetings too. It doesn't work for everyone, but I have talked about that with people here, some of whom do not go to meetings and only use this site for encouragement along the way.

SomeoneSomwhere

I think I'm going to go but I'm not sure. It's in my neighborhood (I live in the inner city in kinda a rough-ish area) and I'm worried there might be people who recognize me there. I guess I could go and just wear a hood. I'm not ready to talk.

ANEWAUGUST

I had all of those fears too when I walked into my first meeting.

I was also afraid that if I didn't try the meeting, I would continue on just the way I had.

I felt like I was dying when I was drinking, and dying when I wasn't.

Toronto68

Oh, OK, well, maybe you work up the nerve if you think it would help to go. To the best of my knowledge, you would not be forced to speak, maybe just say your name and say thanks, look down and open it up for the next person to speak. A long time ago, I went to some meetings and I had a pretty good feeling about them. I just said my name and I am here to learn something. Can't remember what I said in subsequent meetings. Maybe they just knew to pass over me, not sure...

topspin

I don't mean to sound hard hearted or anything , but I think Neo gets to the harsh truth, ...... Maybe, paraphrased;

You will only get sober when (you're able to) want to get sober.


I've learned alot here about that process; ...the "being able to want to get sober " part.

Welcome to SR


Great idea about that Meeting !!!!!

wicked

Oh, I hope you go SomeoneSomwhere.
Support is key at these times.
And, no, you will not have to say anything.
Beth

pw773

SS you stated,

"I crave the feeling of being drunk because I want to get that feeling...not because I NEED to drink."

We are alcoholics..... we drink BECAUSE we like the feeling.... everything else is rational

SomeoneSomwhere

I went. And I'm glad I did. I'm not ready to stop. But I'm going to keep going to meetings.

susanlauren

Someone, Somewhere,
The only requirement for AA membership is a desire to stop drinking. I'm glad you went to a meeting. That is a beginning. I hope you continue to go to meetings.
SusanLauren

BusyBe

I went to my first meeting when i was 21. I worked at the local drug store and sure enough the meeting only had about 10 people there and I had seen at least half of them in my store. It was embarassing but Im sure they were caught off guard as well. Also if it is that bad maybe try the next city over.

bdiddy5522

I am very glad you went to the meeting. Even though you are not ready to stop, now you know there is a way to do it when you are ready. Keep us posted.