Blogs


Notices

Relationship and Sobriety

Old 04-08-2010, 12:43 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
Member
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: Florida
Posts: 1
Relationship and Sobriety

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We currently live together. I'm newly sober....almost 60 days. Lately I have been unhappy in my relationship. I'm not sure if it's everything that I'm going through with my new found sobriety. Or maybe I'm not the same person I was? I'm really confused and wanted to know if someone...anyone had any advice? Or have been through the same thing. XoXo
SoberNme1 is offline  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to SoberNme1 For This Useful Post:
Ceres (04-10-2010), Houndheart (04-08-2010)
Old 04-08-2010, 01:59 PM
  # 2 (permalink)  
Member
 
rws177's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2010
Location: St. Louis, MO
Posts: 638
Blog Entries: 3
Is your boyfriend sober too?
rws177 is offline  
Old 04-08-2010, 02:15 PM
  # 3 (permalink)  
Member
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Guelph, Ontario
Posts: 640
Blog Entries: 10
I agree with question above is your bf sober? because that could really effect it. If not you could be realizing that what you thought was good when you were drinking/using may not be the same as when you are sober. Sometimes when you sober you can see stuff more rationally. Or it could be side effect of coming off stuff maybe your feeling depressed or something. Could be a lot of things. hugs <3
pinkgurl87 is offline  
Old 04-08-2010, 03:12 PM
  # 4 (permalink)  
Guest
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Virginia
Posts: 182
We're kind of in the same boat. Living with my bf and he never knew the sober me until recently. We've had our share of ups and downs since then, but we're trying to work things out. Lots of things that bother the sober me never bothered the drunk me because I was never well enough to care.

Thankfully my bf and I have been able to speak openly about the things that have been coming up, which has helped. Have you expressed your feelings to your boyfriend? What sort of things are bothering you?
FuzzyFatSacks is offline  
Old 04-08-2010, 03:23 PM
  # 5 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Dee74's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 203,992
Blog Entries: 1
hi SoberNMe1
Welcome

I was a very different man in early recovery to the one I was when drinking...and I was different at 30 days than I was at 60 or 90....I don't think I really settled into who I was until 6 months or so.

I'm glad I didn't act impulsively in those early days.

It's probably best to give yourself time to work out what these feelings really are.

D
Dee74 is offline  
The Following User Says Thank You to Dee74 For This Useful Post:
least (04-10-2010)
Old 04-08-2010, 04:21 PM
  # 6 (permalink)  
Administrator
 
Anna's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 58,246
I agree that you should give yourself some time because there is a lot of emotional turmoil in early sobriety.
Anna is online now  
The Following 2 Users Say Thank You to Anna For This Useful Post:
Dee74 (04-08-2010), least (04-10-2010)
Old 04-10-2010, 08:22 AM
  # 7 (permalink)  
Right Where I am Suppose to be
 
sampar's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Australia
Posts: 380
Hi,
Firstly well done on your 60 days soberity I have had issues with my husband in soberity, i now have 15 months but in the first few months i wanted to run away from this person i didnt seem to know. I am a member of AA & luckily i was told this is normal.
For me I was afraid of the new me, i had never had to deal with my feelings before i was like a lost child didnt know what i was doing,
The only thing i can say to u is dont make any rash decisions give your self time to get to know you, you cant fix anybody else..........just work on your self. Soberity is a big change for all involved but seriously worth it, communication is new to alkies & having to honestly look at our selves & be able to listen to other ppl & respect their views wheather we agree with them or not. Keep doin what ure doing its workin for you & give time time.
sampar is offline  
Old 04-10-2010, 10:10 AM
  # 8 (permalink)  
Member
 
Spawn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Ontario
Posts: 806
Originally Posted by rws177 View Post
Is your boyfriend sober too?
this was my first thought as well
Spawn is offline  

Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
 
Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are On
Pingbacks are On
Refbacks are Off




All times are GMT -7. The time now is 01:22 PM.