Relationship and Sobriety

Old 04-08-2010, 12:43 PM
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Relationship and Sobriety

I have been dating my boyfriend for almost 4 years. We currently live together. I'm newly sober....almost 60 days. Lately I have been unhappy in my relationship. I'm not sure if it's everything that I'm going through with my new found sobriety. Or maybe I'm not the same person I was? I'm really confused and wanted to know if someone...anyone had any advice? Or have been through the same thing. XoXo
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Old 04-08-2010, 01:59 PM
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Is your boyfriend sober too?
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Old 04-08-2010, 02:15 PM
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I agree with question above is your bf sober? because that could really effect it. If not you could be realizing that what you thought was good when you were drinking/using may not be the same as when you are sober. Sometimes when you sober you can see stuff more rationally. Or it could be side effect of coming off stuff maybe your feeling depressed or something. Could be a lot of things. hugs <3
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Old 04-08-2010, 03:12 PM
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We're kind of in the same boat. Living with my bf and he never knew the sober me until recently. We've had our share of ups and downs since then, but we're trying to work things out. Lots of things that bother the sober me never bothered the drunk me because I was never well enough to care.

Thankfully my bf and I have been able to speak openly about the things that have been coming up, which has helped. Have you expressed your feelings to your boyfriend? What sort of things are bothering you?
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Old 04-08-2010, 03:23 PM
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hi SoberNMe1

I was a very different man in early recovery to the one I was when drinking...and I was different at 30 days than I was at 60 or 90....I don't think I really settled into who I was until 6 months or so.

I'm glad I didn't act impulsively in those early days.

It's probably best to give yourself time to work out what these feelings really are.

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Old 04-08-2010, 04:21 PM
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I agree that you should give yourself some time because there is a lot of emotional turmoil in early sobriety.
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Old 04-10-2010, 08:22 AM
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Firstly well done on your 60 days soberity I have had issues with my husband in soberity, i now have 15 months but in the first few months i wanted to run away from this person i didnt seem to know. I am a member of AA & luckily i was told this is normal.
For me I was afraid of the new me, i had never had to deal with my feelings before i was like a lost child didnt know what i was doing,
The only thing i can say to u is dont make any rash decisions give your self time to get to know you, you cant fix anybody else..........just work on your self. Soberity is a big change for all involved but seriously worth it, communication is new to alkies & having to honestly look at our selves & be able to listen to other ppl & respect their views wheather we agree with them or not. Keep doin what ure doing its workin for you & give time time.
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Old 04-10-2010, 10:10 AM
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Originally Posted by rws177 View Post
Is your boyfriend sober too?
this was my first thought as well
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