The key to staying sober
Member
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: andalusia alabama
Posts: 10
gotta get my 5 post in as I'm new so this seemed like a good place to start. Hi everyone my Name is Tom and I'm an Alcoholic . New to this site i mean, 25 years in the program
of Alcoholics Anonymous. "One day if not minutes at a time. All I could do sometime is just scream and holler to stay out of my head and hang on so the Nerves wouldn't explode. Repeated the darn old serenity Prayer over and over. Got a flash of those signs
hanging on the meeting room walls. Easy does it, This to will pass, Think,think,think.
You all know those signs. Then it was time for a meeting. Gosh another day with out a drink. Walked in and saw every body smiling and telling jokes and hugging. I knew this was way out of what i needed. {Little did i know what in the hell i needed other than a drink of Scotch} I stayed didn't say anything but I pass. Did that for awhile.
Didn't know what an Alcoholic was. So I did this over and over. Someone ask me to go for coffee after the meeting. That's where I heard about drinking. They told me not to trey and figure this stuff out by myself. Get someone to help you who had been there and done it by the program. Someone that can love you and Not Tell you WHAT TO DO
but how they did. It's about you and no one else. We all did it different. Keep showing up. Read How it Works a Million times. Forget every thing you know and come to us as a child. It's a re-start in life. Don't quit. Bro...Peace.
of Alcoholics Anonymous. "One day if not minutes at a time. All I could do sometime is just scream and holler to stay out of my head and hang on so the Nerves wouldn't explode. Repeated the darn old serenity Prayer over and over. Got a flash of those signs
hanging on the meeting room walls. Easy does it, This to will pass, Think,think,think.
You all know those signs. Then it was time for a meeting. Gosh another day with out a drink. Walked in and saw every body smiling and telling jokes and hugging. I knew this was way out of what i needed. {Little did i know what in the hell i needed other than a drink of Scotch} I stayed didn't say anything but I pass. Did that for awhile.
Didn't know what an Alcoholic was. So I did this over and over. Someone ask me to go for coffee after the meeting. That's where I heard about drinking. They told me not to trey and figure this stuff out by myself. Get someone to help you who had been there and done it by the program. Someone that can love you and Not Tell you WHAT TO DO
but how they did. It's about you and no one else. We all did it different. Keep showing up. Read How it Works a Million times. Forget every thing you know and come to us as a child. It's a re-start in life. Don't quit. Bro...Peace.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Location: Minneapolis, MN
Posts: 26
Wow, I really got a response. As you will see a varied response, with some passionate opinions. I've had, today, different people with lots of active sobriety tell me that a.) AA doesn't keep you sober, it's more a way to live better, and b.) AA never fails.
I'll repond directly to the post that asked me questions directly:
Alcoholics Anonymous (aka the Big Book) is a book. In order to get value from a book, you must read it and interpret the words. You might call these interpretations opinions. This is one reason there are so many sects of Christianity that claim to be biblical, words yield differing meanings depending on the reader.
Half of the meetings with my sponsor were of the format where we both had our Big Books (or sometimes the 12 and 12) open and we read together and analyzed the words. The other half, he would check my progress on the steps or simply I would talk about how sobriety was treating me.
The 4th step was a beast, with three sections (resentments, fears, sex inventory, and four columns to each section, then there was another part with harm caused to others, which seemed to be a precursor to the 8th step. There were a number of questions I asked myself, but the most important one is, 'am I being thorough'. I didn't want anything left out. So I didn't. Others were who do I resent/fear, why do I resent/fear them, what role do I have in the resentment, what harm did my actions cause, etc.
I don't confidently know a fundamental 2nd step question, but I would say, "do I believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity"? That's what my sponsor asked me last time we met, anyways, since I'm back to step 2.
So your answer is basically, get a Big Book literalist sponsor?
I'll repond directly to the post that asked me questions directly:
Originally Posted by keithj 
Herc, I'm not getting into the debate of AA versus something else, but you mentioned enough AA 'stuff' for me to focus on that.
I'm sober in AA for a while now. It was a life changer for me. I have never seen it fail for someone that thoroughly takes the Steps and lives the principles. I mean never. And I'm pretty active in AA.
Here's how to get sober in AA. As far as AA goes, of all those suggestions, pay absolutely no attention to anything that isn't in the Big Book. Someone's 'opinion' of AA will get you killed.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you are asking these questions, then you are not in the middle of a 9th Step. I can tell just by the questions that the foundation is weak.
I'm sorry, it just is what it is. Find a sponsor who knows that Book and doesn't rely on their own 'opinions' of what works. Let me ask, how much time did your sponsor spend sitting down with you, each with a copy of that book open in front of you? Find a sponsor that will do that, identifying directions and actions to be taken.
Other questions. How many columns did your 4th Step have? what questions did you ask of yourself? What is the fundamental Step 2 question?
It's not a quiz, Herc, I'm just trying to see where you are at.
I love AA, but it really pisses me off sometimes when I hear things like this.
Oh, and the frustration is not at you, Herc, it's against really watered down and weak AA.
I'm sober in AA for a while now. It was a life changer for me. I have never seen it fail for someone that thoroughly takes the Steps and lives the principles. I mean never. And I'm pretty active in AA.
Here's how to get sober in AA. As far as AA goes, of all those suggestions, pay absolutely no attention to anything that isn't in the Big Book. Someone's 'opinion' of AA will get you killed.
Please don't take this the wrong way, but if you are asking these questions, then you are not in the middle of a 9th Step. I can tell just by the questions that the foundation is weak.
I'm sorry, it just is what it is. Find a sponsor who knows that Book and doesn't rely on their own 'opinions' of what works. Let me ask, how much time did your sponsor spend sitting down with you, each with a copy of that book open in front of you? Find a sponsor that will do that, identifying directions and actions to be taken.
Other questions. How many columns did your 4th Step have? what questions did you ask of yourself? What is the fundamental Step 2 question?
It's not a quiz, Herc, I'm just trying to see where you are at.
I love AA, but it really pisses me off sometimes when I hear things like this.
Oh, and the frustration is not at you, Herc, it's against really watered down and weak AA.
Half of the meetings with my sponsor were of the format where we both had our Big Books (or sometimes the 12 and 12) open and we read together and analyzed the words. The other half, he would check my progress on the steps or simply I would talk about how sobriety was treating me.
The 4th step was a beast, with three sections (resentments, fears, sex inventory, and four columns to each section, then there was another part with harm caused to others, which seemed to be a precursor to the 8th step. There were a number of questions I asked myself, but the most important one is, 'am I being thorough'. I didn't want anything left out. So I didn't. Others were who do I resent/fear, why do I resent/fear them, what role do I have in the resentment, what harm did my actions cause, etc.
I don't confidently know a fundamental 2nd step question, but I would say, "do I believe that a power greater than myself could restore me to sanity"? That's what my sponsor asked me last time we met, anyways, since I'm back to step 2.
So your answer is basically, get a Big Book literalist sponsor?
Member
Join Date: Apr 2009
Posts: 3,095
Originally Posted by HercTRock
So your answer is basically, get a Big Book literalist sponsor?
I'd consider the foundation of Step 1 with your sponsor. I say that only because of your consideration of nutrition and such in your original post. I needed to be convinced that I had no hope of getting it together before I got willing to let a higher power help me see the truth about myself. Fearless and self-searching and all that. You sure sound willing.
Two guys I know well both went on a few day binge right around their 9th Steps. They had been thorough as well. It happens. Both of them got a new connection with powerlessness, thoroughly reviewed what they had done so far and shored up any weak spots, and continued on with the Steps. They both have multiple years sober now.
Member
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 812
Originally Posted by keithj
Two guys I know well both went on a few day binge right around their 9th Steps. They had been thorough as well. It happens. Both of them got a new connection with powerlessness, thoroughly reviewed what they had done so far and shored up any weak spots, and continued on with the Steps. They both have multiple years sober now.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Location: Kansas City, Mo
Posts: 40
Herctrock,
I think the first thing you have to be clear about is whether or not you are actually ready to lay all the junk down...If you kind of want to but you're not completely ready that may be the cause of your relapses...Other than that,if you are completely ready you then have to be willing to accept some days that are less than comfortable in name of reaching a more comfortable place with you r sobriety...good luck
I think the first thing you have to be clear about is whether or not you are actually ready to lay all the junk down...If you kind of want to but you're not completely ready that may be the cause of your relapses...Other than that,if you are completely ready you then have to be willing to accept some days that are less than comfortable in name of reaching a more comfortable place with you r sobriety...good luck
Member
Join Date: Jan 2012
Posts: 49
Accept you have a problem and vow to solve it.
A single activity or program is not enough to solve the problem in my opinion.
Re-invent yourself, do new things, new challenges, new foods, new friends, newer goals...rewire that brain completely and keep moving forward positvely.
The past is behind you, all you can look and work out is a bright and positive future.
Good luck
A single activity or program is not enough to solve the problem in my opinion.
Re-invent yourself, do new things, new challenges, new foods, new friends, newer goals...rewire that brain completely and keep moving forward positvely.
The past is behind you, all you can look and work out is a bright and positive future.
Good luck
Member
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Unionville, PA
Posts: 141
Originally Posted by augustwest
Yeah, this is the answer. Great post.
What works for me:
Regular NA meeting attendance
having a home group and doing service
step work
meditation- every day, twice a day
exercise
laughter
listen to and play music
try to never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired
visualization practice
be aware of people, places, and things that are triggers and avoid them at all costs
proper nutrition
not too much caffeine or cigarettes(working on quitting cigs)
talk to and hang out with recovering friends to include my sponsor
be mindful of obsessive/compulsive behaviors not involving drugs/alcohol- this can be a path back to using so i try to pause, take 3 complete breaths, and let go of it when this happens
spend as much time outdoors as possible
as far as not drinking/drugging, only worry about today. the day's take care of themselves
be present in each moment
don't get in the vicinity of and for the love of all things sacred and beautiful, NEVER pick up a drug or drink. I don't think anyone will forcefeed me the stuff so if i don't put it in my hands i cannot get high
What works for me:
Regular NA meeting attendance
having a home group and doing service
step work
meditation- every day, twice a day
exercise
laughter
listen to and play music
try to never get too Hungry, Angry, Lonely, or Tired
visualization practice
be aware of people, places, and things that are triggers and avoid them at all costs
proper nutrition
not too much caffeine or cigarettes(working on quitting cigs)
talk to and hang out with recovering friends to include my sponsor
be mindful of obsessive/compulsive behaviors not involving drugs/alcohol- this can be a path back to using so i try to pause, take 3 complete breaths, and let go of it when this happens
spend as much time outdoors as possible
as far as not drinking/drugging, only worry about today. the day's take care of themselves
be present in each moment
don't get in the vicinity of and for the love of all things sacred and beautiful, NEVER pick up a drug or drink. I don't think anyone will forcefeed me the stuff so if i don't put it in my hands i cannot get high
I think that is the best answer. Ive fallen off a couple times... usually what causes me to want a drink is too much caffeine or cigarets . Exercise is key when you have a huge urge
Member
Join Date: Aug 2012
Posts: 3,777
I wrote you this really long response and then erased it. A smile was put in its place. I have heard over the last few days that, it takes what it takes. Sometimes we have to experience the worst of the worst in order for us to fly right. God knows, I never wanted this to happen, but this last relapse has been the worst of my life. If i continue, I will die or go to prison. I will lose everything. Its not good. So, I am ready to listen.
I think that is the key. Listening.
I think that is the key. Listening.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2013
Location: Wisconsin
Posts: 70
Having the courage to tell people that you are an alcoholic and asking for help has been been the biggest help for me. I relapsed recently and am on day two today, but when I did relapse I was lonely and had no one to talk to. Unfortunately I don't have a smart phone so this support group was about an hour out of reach. But yeah, if I had to say one thing that has been the biggest help for me I'd have to agree with Ceres, people.
The second if I get too (is that cheating?) is what Anna said. Telling yourself in your mind that drinking is simply not an option. Once you tell your mind that, the cravings last much shorter. Again, it was when I was alone and allowed the thought of drinking into my mind as an option that I slipped. So do not even allow yourself to think it is an option.
The second if I get too (is that cheating?) is what Anna said. Telling yourself in your mind that drinking is simply not an option. Once you tell your mind that, the cravings last much shorter. Again, it was when I was alone and allowed the thought of drinking into my mind as an option that I slipped. So do not even allow yourself to think it is an option.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
