4:30a.m. On a Saturday norning and I see 63 viewers here....
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
4:30a.m. On a Saturday norning and I see 63 viewers here....
In a way, it brings a calmness to me to see so many people here at this hour :-) My last drink was about a month and a half ago and my sleep patterns are still all over the place... I've decided on weekends, if I wake up at 3:00 or 4:00 and just know that I am not going back to sleep, I will slip out of bed without waking my ever caring wife who prays for me daily, come downstairs and drink abit of coffee and read a chapter of a book I happen to be reading or watch some recorded TV show with headphones. So.... Here I am again my friends, I am up earlier than I'd like, but...... I haven't thrown up, broken any small bones, I can remember exactly what I did last night, you know, the stuff that normal people take for granted :-) Anyway, just checking in, living in VA, I do enjoy watching a nice sunrise!
Peace,
..Mike
Peace,
..Mike
Hey Mike,
Was myself up awfully early this morning. 6th day of recovery for me, but at least I didn't have a hangover! I feel good so who cares when I wake up! Chantilly? wow, been there, many, many years ago... Rt 50 was still single lane, bet it isn't that way anymore!
Enjoy your early mornings to yourself, count them as a blessing. Remember you can always come on line, cause us guys in Europe are up WAY before you and on line.
Happy Easter!
Was myself up awfully early this morning. 6th day of recovery for me, but at least I didn't have a hangover! I feel good so who cares when I wake up! Chantilly? wow, been there, many, many years ago... Rt 50 was still single lane, bet it isn't that way anymore!
Enjoy your early mornings to yourself, count them as a blessing. Remember you can always come on line, cause us guys in Europe are up WAY before you and on line.
Happy Easter!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Yeah, Burning Chrome was one of his early short stories, I use it as my screen name on a few computer games I play online (i.e. 2142). Lately I have been reading everything by an English guy named Ian M. Banks ("Look to Windward", "Excesscion", et.al.) Great stuff. Gives me something to read at 5:00 in the morning :-)
Thanks for writing back, I appreciate it!
..Mike
Thanks for writing back, I appreciate it!
..Mike
The Shocking Truth
Join Date: Apr 2010
Location: USA
Posts: 33
Day 7 of sobriety for me - still no urge to booze, but I am no longer feeling peaceful and happy. I am in a blind rage. Thank God for this forum or i would feel totally alone. Thank you. Thank you.
hey man-
first of all- john henry bonham was the best drummer that ever picked up a stick. Dude- wish the best for you. I am going to play my guitar (which i normally play physical graffiti songs) . you know the deal
ok- next .....hang in man, there is much more.
just me
Dub
first of all- john henry bonham was the best drummer that ever picked up a stick. Dude- wish the best for you. I am going to play my guitar (which i normally play physical graffiti songs) . you know the deal
ok- next .....hang in man, there is much more.
just me
Dub
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Thanks Dub! Yeah, getting up on a weekend day before the sun rises this time of year, sitting on the back deck and just hearing the birds and whatnot, very peaceful. About 2-4 hours later, I bring my wife a cup of coffee upstairs as she wakes up; she's had So many health problems in her past and yet is still so positive about life; she has stood by me and helped me and prays for me every day so she's my rock. Yep, I think _today_ will be a damn fine day! Thanks for writing back brother!
Peace,
..Mike
Peace,
..Mike
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Hey John, I know what you're feeling man... It's a tough road but if we want to survive and thrive, these are the hard things we have to do, comes a point when we know using is no longer an option, it's just something you _cannot_ do, otherwise your life will just crater around you. Hang in there and stop here often, I cannot count the support that I have received from all the members on this forum. We're all walking the same road, you are Not alone!
Peace,
..Mike
Peace,
..Mike
Thank you for this thread.
I usually wake up and am grateful that I'm clear-headed, that my mouth is not as dry as an armadillo with heat stroke and feeling like my tongue has a sweater on it.
The calm and quiet vibes described here are definitely what I needed to hear and visualize. I'll carry them with me on this very busy travelling day.
Thank you.
Peace & Blessings ~
I usually wake up and am grateful that I'm clear-headed, that my mouth is not as dry as an armadillo with heat stroke and feeling like my tongue has a sweater on it.
The calm and quiet vibes described here are definitely what I needed to hear and visualize. I'll carry them with me on this very busy travelling day.
Thank you.
Peace & Blessings ~
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 224
Cool thread Mike. I too wake up really early sometimes. I sometimes read...and also spend some time sorting through all sorts of stuff to clear my house which heads to clearing my head. Or is it vice versa now that I am sober? Have I cleared out my head and wanna clear out the house excess? Anyway....
That's sweet that you take a nice cup of coffee up to your wife as she awakens. I am hoping that now that I am sobering up/healing up/recovering that in my near future I will find that special one to bring coffee too.
And that you have a wife that says prayers for you is pretty rockin too.
It's really pretty here in the Northeast of the US today. I am psyched. Out to clean up and tune up my grill for the season.
Thanks for starting this thread. Here's to early mornings....without hangover fog in the midst of my being!
That's sweet that you take a nice cup of coffee up to your wife as she awakens. I am hoping that now that I am sobering up/healing up/recovering that in my near future I will find that special one to bring coffee too.
And that you have a wife that says prayers for you is pretty rockin too.
It's really pretty here in the Northeast of the US today. I am psyched. Out to clean up and tune up my grill for the season.
Thanks for starting this thread. Here's to early mornings....without hangover fog in the midst of my being!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Chantilly, VA
Posts: 216
Hey HoundHeart, Thanks for your words, I appreciate it. Just so you know alittle background, I lived in S. Korea for 7 years and after I came back to the US, I had her come over and we got married. She's "old stlye" Korean, where the wife takes care of the husband and her house as her first priority, for a number of years, I'd come downstairs (hungover as usual) and she'd have my coffee already made for me in a cup with the perfect amount of sugar, my lunch made for me to take to work, a nice cooked dinner when I came home. Back in 2001, a doctor screwed up her meds and long story short, her bloods ability to clot got about 10 times less than normal and she had a bleed in her lower spine and was paralyzed from the waist down for about a year and a half. And we lived in a 3 level town house :-( It was rough times. She's had 3 major surgeries and came close to dying twice (that's partially why I believe I self medicated with alcohol so much, only at home, by myself, late at night, to numb the pain). With a tremendous amount of will power and stregnth, she got from a wheel chair to a walker, to a wide base cane to a cane, to where she just has a limp when she walks now and has chronic pain problems due to scar tissue in her spinal column. But I wake up every morning and she's just so positive about life, even after all the hell she's been thru, there is no way I could go thru what she did and not be bitter at the world. She took such good care of me when she could, it's kind of pay back time and I enjoy doing it for her and I knows she appreciates it. And to have her look at me and say "Yobo (Korean for "dear" or "honey"), Please, just don't drink!". It would break my heart because I know she cannot understand the craving and the need for my mind to just get blotted out. But having her here, letting me know she prays for me every day and _Still_ supporting me makes it oh so much easier!! Addiction runs rampant in my family and my brothers life was destroyed by alcohol but his wife was a total witch and gave him no support or help; I am fortunate enough to have a good, kind, loving, woman who tho she cannot understand my yearnings, she just lets me know that she's there for me. She's my rock. I sure hope you find someone like her in your life, it will really turn your world around :-) Anyway, that's my story in a nutshell... I've quit before for over a year and always started back up, but I quit again 2/20 of this year and believe I will be walking the straight and narrow, I turned 50 last year and if I do not change my behavior now I never will. I quit smoking on April 1st, 2000, 10 years ago, when I decided the harm I was doing to myself did not equal the pleasure it gave me, never smoked again; I kind of got that way about alcohol, so.... Here I am... Very successful, done good for myself, etc., be a shame to throw it all away! But yeah, the early morning wake ups, especially on the weekends where I have a few quiet hours to think about things, well, it just brings a kind of calmness to myself that I know I have been missing. Again, thanks for the kind words, I hope all works out for you too!!
Peace,
...Mike
Peace,
...Mike
The morning breeze has secrets to tell you. Do not go back to sleep ~ Rumi
In the quiet time when the house is still, God talks, I listen. It's the perfect time for meditation - I really look forward to it now.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2010
Location: Long Island, NY
Posts: 224
Mike,
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this very personal story of your life. I do believe that you and your wife understand what loving another person is all about. I am sorry to hear of the struggles, but it is a heartfelt story of two people being there for each other. It brought tears to my eyes, and yet a smile to my heart. You have reminded me of hope and faith and commitment. I am glad that you have chosen to go back to being sober in this. Enjoy those morning breezes. I will do the same. Peace.
Wow. Thank you so much for sharing this very personal story of your life. I do believe that you and your wife understand what loving another person is all about. I am sorry to hear of the struggles, but it is a heartfelt story of two people being there for each other. It brought tears to my eyes, and yet a smile to my heart. You have reminded me of hope and faith and commitment. I am glad that you have chosen to go back to being sober in this. Enjoy those morning breezes. I will do the same. Peace.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)