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3 days sober

Old 03-31-2010, 07:30 AM
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Unhappy 3 days sober

Hi

Im a 26 yo male that has been drinking heavily for about the last 6 years. I have been sober for 3 days after drinking a bottle of vodka a day for about the last six months having maybe a day off a week. I have lost my wife and kids recently due to my addiction and thought i would actually die on sunday just gone. This was the rock bottom that i needed to make me realise that i can not and should not ever let another drop of alcohol pass my lips again. I still want to though This has to be the hardest thing that i have ever done and today my shakes have nearly passed but i am still getting very hot and can not sleep. I can feel that my liver is still inflamed and just wondered if anyone would know how long it might take to start feeling a bit more normal? Also when the urge to go and buy another bottle might pass. really struggling today!!!
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Old 03-31-2010, 07:38 AM
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Congrats on making the decision to live a sober life. Three days is a good start but still very early in sobriety. The physical and emotional changes you are going thru are common at this time but if you have concerns I'd advise seeing a doctor.

The cravings to drink will get less with time passing, but it does take a lot of effort on your part and making changes in your life to support your sober lifestyle is necessary. Have you thought about checking out some AA meetings? I found them very helpful, especially early in sobriety. I also found a lot of help in seeing an addiction counselor.

I'm glad you found us!
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Old 03-31-2010, 07:45 AM
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Hi thanks for the reply and the welcome!

I have not been to see any doctors or been to any meetings as of yet. I have told my 2 best friends yesterday and they were shocked at the amount that i drink because i have managed to hide it from everybody but my wife. I even lied to her about the amounts i drank. I am disgusted with myself as my wife will not let me see our children as she thinks that i will be drunk. Just looking for as much support as i can get at the minute because i really dont want to drink anymore. Do AA meetings cost? I know that councelling does and due to the amount of money i have spent since seperating from my partner really cant afford many extra costs (tho thinking about it i will have extra money from not buying alcohol)
This is all really new to me as I only admitted my problem to myself on monday. Missing my kids makes me want a drink but if i drink i cant see my kids! This is driving me crazy!!!
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Old 03-31-2010, 08:33 AM
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Id just like to add that I am never drunk around my kids but that I did smoke a lot of cannabis. This I have also not smoked for 3 days and actually put my last bit down a drain. I just really want to stay sober for my kids as I know that my marriage is un-salvageable. Did anybody else get cravings to drink every few hours this early in and if you did how did you combat it? Have just been on the AA site but the nearest meeting place for me is miles away and as I no longer have a driving license would be unable to get to them. I just want to be a sober, responsible role model for my children before they become old enough to realise that I am actually a waster!
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Old 03-31-2010, 08:47 AM
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I was too sick to get any cravings...(FYI, we are not allowed to give medical advice here).

I had the sleeplessness and sweats too, lower GI problems and lots of vomiting...I decided to quit while I was ill...so there was a double whammy.

You probably should check with your doctor and be honest about the amount you drink, he/she may be able to help you avoid some pitfalls which could deter your sobriety.

the only thing I can tell you is to take it one day at a time, get some B-vitamins and milk thistle, drink a lot of fluids and if you are up to it, some light exercise to help you sleep.

it gets a little better each day, sometimes each hour....think of the favor you are doing for your health, yourself and your kids....whatever keeps you going....i think I was here at least 6 hours a day....posting and getting support. i was drinking between 8-10 glasses of wine a day for 25 years...in 2009 I abstained for 9 days only due to being hospitalized...today I am on Day #44.
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Old 03-31-2010, 08:56 AM
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Hello and welcome, Foxy!

I was catapulted back into my own vodka days - I could've written most of your story. Trust that you will feel better physically. Picking up again will just cause you to repeat what you've already been through over and over.

AA meetings are free - they pass a basket for a donation but it's not necessary to contribute.

As for counseling, I saw a licensed alcohol and drug abuse counselor (LADAC) when I first got sober - he saved my life. I found him through my community rehab outpatient services organization. I wasn't working at the time, the 'fee' was on a sliding scale - I paid $15 for each visit, one night per week (one hour sessions). I KNOW I spent way more than that in one week drinking.

Glad you're here! You'll find lots of support and shared experiences.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:00 AM
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Originally Posted by foxy0116 View Post
Have just been on the AA site but the nearest meeting place for me is miles away and as I no longer have a driving license would be unable to get to them.
Call this meeting place and tell them your driving situation - someone can pick you up. Once you get there and meet other people, you'll have a wider network of 'rides.'

This is about doing whatever it takes to get sober - no obstacles can be too large to overcome if you really want it.

Reach out - people do want to help.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:10 AM
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Hi foxy, thanks for your comment on my post. looks like we found a pretty good support group here. i know i am scared, but we have to do this, we just have to. our lives depend on this. people have told me in the past to do one day at a time, but right now for me at 5:00 tonight it will be one moment at a time. I know we can do this. hang in there.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:37 AM
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Thanks for all the advice guys it really is helping to know that im not alone. Finding harder each minute right now but the picture of my kids next to me is getting me through ... just! If only I had listened to my wife months ago, she would be such a massive help in dealing with this. Feeling really emotional at the minute considering iv told myself for years that i dont have a problem. These feelings im experiencing prove if any was needed that i am indeed addicted!

I will go and get some B-vitamins and milk thistle tomorrow as i dont dare go near a shop today (this is about the time id crack open a bottle) I will also try and see if there is any way to get to one of the AA meetings. They seem to have helped alot of people on this forum. I need all the help I can get right now.

Have just had a shower and am going to try and force some food into me, god knows I need it!!! Feeling very ashamed at what I have become but starting to think a little more clearly. Have to keep telling myself I dont need a drink, but that I want a drink (repeat as required) Im really proud of all of you who have managed to defeat this demon, you are very strong people!!!
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:45 AM
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keep looking forward....do you have any distractions for yourself? so you don't constantly think of alcohol? (are you working or is there anything around the house you could do)?

even some simple freebie online computer games pass the time and give your head something to focus on...a couple I use are gamehouse.com or Popcap.com...(I am a big Zuma fan myself).

I do remember waking up on Sober Day 3 or 4 and literally crying with relief that i was STILL sober.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:52 AM
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Hey Fandy, I have many distractions (uni work, ps3, xbox360, books etc..) but none seem to be working today, none at all. All I can think about is my kids and wife. This leads to reminding me what I have lost and in turn makes me think of drink! I dont think I have ever shed so many tears in my life! Im going to see a friend later and hope that at least until I get home that I will be able to control my thoughts. I need a new coping technique or at least some sort of technique!!!
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Old 03-31-2010, 04:44 PM
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Well its now late on my day of being sober. 23:41pm and not a drop has passed these lips! I even managed to watch my beloved Arsenal FC draw against Barcelona with only Coffee to drink. Im feeling really proud of myself at the moment but tomorrow is another day.
I have been invited to the pub (bar) by some friends tomorrow. I said id come. Thoughts?
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Old 03-31-2010, 05:46 PM
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Hey foxy. Just wanted to let you know I'm here and you have my support. I'm early in recovery myself (38 days sober) and also in my 20's (21). Congrats on the time sober. The first couple of days are the hardest physically and you are just about through those. Keep up the good work.
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Old 03-31-2010, 06:22 PM
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Originally Posted by foxy0116 View Post
Well its now late on my day of being sober. 23:41pm and not a drop has passed these lips! I even managed to watch my beloved Arsenal FC draw against Barcelona with only Coffee to drink. Im feeling really proud of myself at the moment but tomorrow is another day.
I have been invited to the pub (bar) by some friends tomorrow. I said id come. Thoughts?
foxy, please be careful going into a bar right now. i am faced with the same thing this weekend and i know the temptation is going to be overwhelming. get a visual of yourself sober and keep it in your mind every second you are surrounded by alcohol. the visual of your kids being with you and you remember them the next morning when you awake and you know you have made it through another day. that visual will be your lifesaver. i know my visual is having a proud husband, and a healthy lifestyle. We CAN do this. Please please be very careful. you have come so far so soon.
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Old 03-31-2010, 06:38 PM
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Foxy-Glad you are here. As far as the bar thing-I would not go, but that is me. fandy-you are doing great girl! Keep it up.
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Old 03-31-2010, 08:21 PM
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If you have a friend who can legally drive
you could ask him to take you to an AA meeting.
I used to take a bus to them when
I was new to sobriety....

I did quit going to bars too. Non drinkers have no
reason to hang out there.

Most likely....you will be feeling physically better very soon.
The cravings? Took me a lot longer.

In early sobriety....
I timed my cravings.

They were 5-7 minutes in duration.
Not too long too endure discomfort
.
Soooo....I took action.
Brushed my teeth...Walked....Drank cold water...Hard candy
Took a shower....Distraction....it was all for distraction.

Within 2 weeks...they lessened in both time and intensity.
By 2 or so months .... they vanished.

Now...were they mental or physical?
Darn if I know. Nor do I care.

Blessings to you and your family
Welcome...
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Old 03-31-2010, 08:53 PM
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Welcome. Children growing up with a sober dad.....Awesome.
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Old 03-31-2010, 09:53 PM
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Foxy, it doesn't seem like the pub is the right surroundings for you now. I don't know if I missed something, but it seems like the friends must not understand the circumstances and that you have been dealing with alcohol issues and that you are now working on quitting.

You're asking what people think. My suggestion is to revisit the option of meeting friends at the pub in 6 weeks after you have not been drinking. I wouldn't be ashamed of you if you never stepped foot in one again for 6 months (or 60 years). It could very well be that, this early on, the pub would a place for you to give into drinking (you've been talking about wrestling with the urge to drink in the last day).

I have been to a similar environment a few times (I quit before Xmas): one house party and a couple of restaurants for a bit. Was able to drop off two *&%#^-loads of empties at the beer store for recycling without taking out replenishments on the way out. One final case that had broken bottles in it and would have been too much of a hassle to bring in. It sat in the house for another month until I was sick of seeing it, so I heaved it into my recycling box at home (only a couple of bucks' worth); loved the sound of it when I dropped it in too. I probably could have made the third trip to drop it off at the beer store (I faced bigger "challenges" than that, where I could have accepted drinks), but I didn't feel like it that day, so I didn't beat myself up. I was proving enough to myself along the way.

If you're going to keep this up - I mean the quitting - then start out by saying to yourself you will get through today. Nearly everybody will tell you that. Hold on to whatever your "teddy bear" or "security blanket" is in place of alcohol when it gets scary until you sleep again. (For me, it is usually the computer or music or walking; other people will have something else.) When you wake up, do it again. Come back in here. Have AA or a similar type of meeting in mind, so that you are with people who understand you. Go to them if you think you're ready. To my understanding, people usually gain confidence as the days start piling up with no drinking - 2 weeks, 4 weeks - something like that. I was happier with myself every couple of weeks. When I didn't understand why I was able to get through it, and wondered what else I could expect, and needed to connect with other people on this topic, I found this place in Feb.

Don't put mountains to climb in your head. People will support you in the improvements you make, I don't care how silly or small they may sound. You and Not Drinking have to be the most important thing going in your head in order for it to work.
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Old 04-01-2010, 02:40 AM
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Day 4

Hi Guys, thank you for all the advice! The problem is that as I have been keeping my addiction secret for so long that I have alienated myself from alot of my old friends. The only real friends I have left (and its a very small number now days) are keeping me sane!!!
Since my wife will no longer talk to me or let me see my children I fear that sitting in my flat, alone, the temptation will be too much for me to carry on with my old lifestyle. I used to drink more on my own (to hide what I was doing) than when out with friends. The person im meeting is my best friend and has been my rock this last week. He fully knows what I am doing and keeps telling me "remember your kids". I dont feel to bad physically this morning (apart from seriously bad, sweaty, sleep!) I guess im really going to have to think hard about what to do. Right now, this morning all i want is a coffee. I will have to see how the cravings go today I guess and see how it goes.

Again thanks for all the support guys, dont think I would have gotten this far without you!!!
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Old 04-01-2010, 03:27 AM
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Keep it up!

Foxy,
I am as new to this as you are and you are smart to do it now. I have hidden my drinking for a long time.... I could be your mother!

Everyone says that the first step is our own admittance that we do drink far too much (alcoholics, abusers, whatever). We have done that, now we need to admit it to others close to us. I believe your wife may come round once she knows you are sincere. Stick to it!

There are so many nice and helpful people here, just log on instead of picking up that bottle... that's what I do. Reading all the supportive posts gets me through the worst moments.

All the best! :ghug3
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