Happier

It can be challenging and a lot of things change. Here are a few things I had to give up:

1. Walking into work hung over and hoping nobody could see the "foggy head" that I felt.

2. Being afraid to answer the phone because I knew my speach would be slurred.

3. Hoping people weren't noticing my glazed eyes as I walked through Wal-Mart.

4. Regretting the stupid things I said the night before.

5. Worrying about whether my eyes are turning yellow as I look in the mirror.

6. Wondering if permanent damage has occurred yet.

7. Being shocked at what my black out has erased....until someone reminded me.

8. Waking up with some strange, unexplainable anxiety....it seems so real, obvious, and concerning at the time but makes no sense the next morning (hard to explain)

9. Wondering if I would beat this disease like my Dad did or if it would kill me as it did my brother.


....and on and on the list could go. You give up a lot when you get sober and I am thankful!

citylights

wow, what a powerful post. I completely identify with it. And yes, it would be nice to look in the mirror without wondering if my eyes are yellowing. That's no way to live.

fragrantrose

I am 13 days and although fog starting to clear now starting to really worry what have i done to my brain with my binge drinking as memory lapses,difficulty finding words
anxiety improved but now depression ++,oversensitive+++
have to be gentle with myself and see myself still in "intensive care"

Hevyn

Fragrantrose, you're right. Tiny baby steps - be kind & patient with yourself. You are getting the job done, and that's wonderful. You'll go through many phases as you heal, so don't despair.

Happier, that was a great list. You WILL beat this thing, like your Dad did!

I'm not sorry I gave up arriving at work armed with mouthwash, eyedrops, extra perfume - and oh, yeah, my supply of liquor to sip on during the day to avoid the shakes. Also not missing driving with a drink in my cupholder - terrified of getting stopped. Shameful behavior that I actually justified.

ghal

Frag, that foggy head will clear. It can take a while but you will feel it. Took me a lot longer than 13 days . God Bless!

MahiMahi

Great thread Happier, congrats on being sober.

Tazman53

Awesome thread! Excellent points all!

fragrantrose hang in there, keep working on your recovery, things kept getting better, every time I thought that my head could not get better it always did. I saw mental improvement for over a year. The majority of my physical issues cleared up in about 6 months.

I will say that my drinking may have taken a long term toll on me physically, I was just diagnosed with type 2 diabetes, but it is getting under control now. I have to give credit to the program of AA for how rapidly I have gotten my blood sugar under control as well as my diet, as AA taught me how to accept my alcoholism and deal with it & life, so have I applied it in a way that has allowed me to accept & live with my diabetes.

Saphie

Nothing, but nothing to give up, only good things to gain.
PS: I never could tell if my eyes were turning yellow, they were always too bloodshot

least

That's a great list. I had to give up many of those things too and am the better for it!

Fandy

i tried to post last night, but the website must have belched, it would not take....

I've given up being nauseated every AM and heaving....
I've given up a swollen bloated face and stomach...
I've given up headaches and hangovers.
I've given up laying in bed full of dread every morning.
I've given up calling out of work and crawling back into bed with a glass of wine at 7AM, wishing the day would be over before it started.
I've given up a LOT of my chronic major depression
I've given up living like a slob and looking like a bag-lady.

(great thread, thank you)!!!!