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Old 02-18-2010, 03:44 PM
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Help-Question

I have only been off a week and posted first time yesterday.

Question - how did some of you deal with these thoughts?

I love to grill - how am I ever going to do this again with beer?

I love to watch my Michigan Football team - how am I ever going to watch another game without booze?

The Holiday's with out booze - why have a Holiday?

Cutting the lawn - How am I EVER going to work in the yard again without the knowledge that an Ice Cold 12 pack is awaiting me?

Playing golf all day and then relaxing watching the sun set without a drink?

Worse yet - Going to the ocean and watching the sun set without a drink? My God this thought makes me sweat.

I remember all these great times with drink but tend to forget the terrible pain the next day.

What a mess this booze state puts you in.

thanks to all
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:49 PM
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I do all those things in sobriety, and many many more. They're more enjoyable, I remember them the next day, and I don't embarass myself or destroy any relationships in the process.

Alcohol never improved anything, it was just an illusion. And trust me when I tell you, I did a lot of BBQ'ing and drinking, fishing and camping, yardwork etc.
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Old 02-18-2010, 03:57 PM
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Thanks

I keep telling myself that I will eventually enjoy all those things again.

But - I have relative that loved to grill as well. He has quit for 5 years now and cannot take it upon himself to BBQ anymore. He told me the fun is gone.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:01 PM
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I'm not going to say that I was smiling and BBQ'ing my first week of sobriety, it took time, work, effort, and action to enjoy those things again. Some hobbies I still don't enjoy, I have new hobbies I've picked up.

What I put into recovery I get back tenfold. If I go to meetings, work with others, and stay focused on recovery, the rewards don't stop.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:08 PM
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Yeah, I'm definitely with Astro and his post.

I enjoy everything I do much more in recovery. It will take some changes in your life, a different way of looking at things, but you will find so much joy.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:09 PM
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Thanks Again for help

Also - even though it was fun to bbq and booze it up. Afterwords, I usually was too drink to enjoy the meal.

One day at a time I gotta to make this time.

thanks
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:18 PM
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Originally Posted by bozo123 View Post
Also - even though it was fun to bbq and booze it up. Afterwords, I usually was too drink to enjoy the meal.

One day at a time I gotta to make this time.

thanks

Hey Bozo! Oh BOY can I relate to that!!! Or I didn't WANT to eat because I didn't want to kill that buzz!!!

I'm so grateful that nothing dictates my meal schedual today, other than my appetite. Hang in there! Sobriety Rocks!
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:20 PM
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I remember all these great times with drink but tend to forget the terrible pain the next day.
I think you will come to enjoy those things eventually, and without the pain the next day.

I had to make a lot of changes in my life to accomodate sobriety. I nearly always drank at home alone so my changes were mostly mental/attitude changes. But my life HAD to change and tho it was/is hard at first, it gets easier as time goes on. Not to mention how much I love waking up sober and not feeling so sick!
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:25 PM
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Only Drank At HOme

I did not like going to bars because I had to wait for my next drink. You know, being served. No waiting at home. Just me and my sick addiction.


thanks for your help.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:28 PM
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Much cheaper to drink at home and I had plenty of places available to blackout or pass out. I do understand.

I pretty much related everything to drinking. If I was making pizza I'd drink a jug of wine, grilling required a 12 pack minimum followed by vodka or scotch, and yes I was too drunk to enjoy the meal or I puked it up.

Boy it sure took a lot of effort to plan all that drinking, and I lied about it a lot too. Glad that's part of my past now. Life is so much easier.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:28 PM
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Don't quit. It's up to you and a personal decision that has to be made. If you're on this forum though there must be a reason as to why you're here. Only you can decide.
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:44 PM
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Bozo - I did everything with a glass in my hand...I would have showered with a drink if it didn't water it down...

Trust me, there's nothing you did with booze that isn't as good - or far better - without

D
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Old 02-18-2010, 04:49 PM
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Hi bozo123,

I am new here...just wanted to say I can relate to your concerns. I did have some time sober (almost 3 years) before I relapsed. Anyway, at the beginning of my wonderful, sober years, i had the same questions..I felt like I'd be missing something...and that many events I would encounter would be awful without the alcohol. But some friends in recovery taught me that I can find substitutes, more pleasurable "rewards"...for doing my chores. walking on the beach, trying to relax after work. It may take some time, and it's not easy. But in time, you will hopefully find that you many even enjoy these events more without the alcohol...as other posters mentioned for example, eating a yummy meal and not having to worry about killing your buzz.

Take care,
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Old 02-18-2010, 05:18 PM
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I struggled with the "never again's" too...they pass with time and at 60 something days, I can tell you that I now enjoy cooking without the drink and all the other doors that have opened have been worth it..

Hang in there .. it does get better!

OH and I got sober over Xmas and New years....you can do it! I had a blast on NYE, got myself busy, still danced like an idiot and managed conversations and REMEMBERED them all!
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Old 02-18-2010, 05:58 PM
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You are going through a mourning process and it will pass.
At first all you can do is remember the good things about drinking and as more and more time passes all you will remember is the bad things about those drinking times.
Good luck.
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Old 02-18-2010, 11:11 PM
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Bo, I can relate. Beer/booze/the substance as an accompaniment to whatever we appreciate, like it's supposed to be a food group on your plate. It's not the same as breathing in air to live though, is it? I was reading a different page somewhere today and I liked it when Fandy said it is perceived as a thing on the side to enjoy but soon becomes the MAIN EVENT to people like us. And we rob ourselves of what we can do with our time along the way. It's not really life; it's a traitor for a friend, and we picked the wrong one. There's great support in here. Hope it keeps going great for you!
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Old 02-19-2010, 01:20 AM
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A lot of women on the forum, including myself, used alcohol to get though the daily dinner preparation. It became a ritual, and a habit for me to have that glass of wine in hand. There were lots of days I was too tired and uninspired to throw a meal together. But the frequently refilled glass of wine helped me through that. I liked to use elaborate gourmet recipes: it gave me a reason to take more time cooking, and drink several glasses in the process!

Nevermind the dropped plates and deep cuts I'd make in my fingers as my coordination went down the drain.

Now I use the simplest recipes I can find and often cook meals ahead of time.
I am doing a lot with my evenings now and am rather busy. Not home much.

One of the first real rewards of early sobriety? Eating again. I am the primary cook in the family, but there were plenty of times I was too sick or drunk to eat my own cooking. Having an appetite back again and experiencing the pleasure of being hungry and eating everything on my plate instead of picking at it is one of the things I am frequently grateful for in sobriety.
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Old 02-19-2010, 04:43 AM
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Originally Posted by bozo123 View Post
I have relative that loved to grill as well. He has quit for 5 years now and cannot take it upon himself to BBQ anymore. He told me the fun is gone.
This is the immense difference between just not drinking (being dry) versus living a full, contentended, life in recovery.

What a shame to live 5 years that way...
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