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Drinking friends---scared or sabbotaging?

Old 02-18-2010, 09:48 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
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Maybe it was a little extreme -

But the day I decided to stop drinking (which was a week ago today to be honest) I deleted 20 numbers from my cell phone right off the bat. I think I was able to separate my true friends from my drinking buddies. Knowing that those people could jeopardize my sobriety was enough reason for me to give THEM a break until I am more secure and comfortable with my sobriety.

I am obviously no expert, but I am willing to do whatever it takes so that I never have to go through the horror of the last 14 years of my life ever again. I'm surprised I even made it for this long. Thanks for letting me share.
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Old 02-18-2010, 10:00 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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I've been reading these posts and think I am the exception here....possibly because I'm older? or have a smaller circle of friends (maybe we are just boring)....I cannot think of one person who would cajole me into drinking if I said i would prefer not to, either at their home or going out....they might say "you sure you don't want one"?, but would offer me a coke, coffee,water in the blink...they might talk about me if i left early, but they wouldn't force me.

maybe because they've seen me too drunk too many times?
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Old 02-18-2010, 10:28 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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Some of my friends I had to drop. Many I have not seen since my sobriety. Some I know will mess with me just to mess with me and not have any real serious intent except screwing with me lol. I have a few good friends and some on the edge, only time will tell who are actually good people for me.

But I have made a number of friends in sobriety from all demographics. The guy that yelled at me 2 years ago for shooting my AR-15 in my yard(I did have a huge yard btw) recently invited me into his house and we talked over a cup of coffee for like 2 hours. We met at AA and have been friendly ever since. I am developing a number of friendships through AA now and look forward to developing even more in the future!
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Old 02-18-2010, 10:52 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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None of what I thought were friends cared to hang around after I stopped drinking. Funny, I got a longer phone list of new friends now
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Old 02-18-2010, 11:42 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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If they're drinking buddies it might just be an annoyance that you don't drink.. you probably have very little else in common. I found that my drinking buddies were of course toxic in my life once I got sober, and I stopped talking to them. What I realized was that my 'real' friends weren't the friends I drank with or got drunk with. They may drink, but aren't alcoholics.. ya know those crazy people that can have a glass of wine once a month and not really care about it. What we have in common has never had anything to do with drinking, so our friendships weren't effected.. because they are friends, not drinking buddies.. there's such a world of difference. It's been a year and a few months and I've yet to have an old drinking buddy call me up to do anything that involves something without alcohol. That's ok with me, good riddance.
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Old 02-18-2010, 12:39 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hound, I don't know for sure, but I think people see behavior that stands out as a threat to "the group" and makes them want to question or deny. They obviously don't have a clue. If they are going to be a threat to your path, then I think you should pick you over them, at least until they get it. Whatever it takes for you to hang on to yourself and your wonderful sober life.

I am going to be going to a party this wknd for somebody's birthday. I have visions of them asking me why I am not drinking and offering me stuff, and I plan on telling them, Well, I am an alcoholic and I'm recovering, so that's the end of it. If they pursue it, then I won't have a choice but to leave. I have been to their parties many times in the past and had nothing (even New Year's Eve) so that I could drive home legally....and then drink at home. So it wouldn't be the first time, but this is the first time during my recovery that I would be doing this. Not sure I want to endure the rambling.
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