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Hello all I am a new to being sober

Old 02-16-2010, 11:40 AM
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Hello all I am a new to being sober

First, I would like to thank you all for your post's. They were of great help to me today. I honestly thought I was the only person who drank to extreme's. It is really encouraging to see all the people who have booted this horrible habit! I am an alcoholic, one drink is never enough for me.
Here is my fear, I get sober for a couple of weeks and think I can handle drinking, and I can't! I know that now. Any advice of what to do when that feeling creeps up. I am assuming it will again. For now I just think about how hard drinking is on my family. Thanks in advance!
AT.
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Old 02-16-2010, 12:06 PM
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Hi Achilleys,

Originally Posted by AchilleysTendon View Post
Any advice of what to do when that feeling creeps up.
In early sobriety, everyone seems to be looking for that magic thing that will keep them from the first drink. You will hear lots of helpful suggestions in that regard, and all of them have some usefulness.

It is my experience, however, that those mental or psychological tricks are at best a temporary solution. They got me through a tough moment a time or two, and that's very important to keep from fueling that craving. But I think that if you talk to people that have been sober for more than a couple of years, most feel that something more is required in the long haul. It certainly was for me.

I was like a lot of people on this forum. I used all those tricks and thought stopping techniques, and it worked for some number of months. Then, at some point, I would find myself drunk without a whole lot of thought put into it. That cycle stopped repeating over and over when I experienced a fundamental change in my reaction to life as the result of AA's 12 Steps.

So, look around and see if those with long term sobriety are still using those thought stopping, take your mind off it, find a hobby techniques, or if they have made some more fundamental changes in their personality to stay sober for the long term.
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Old 02-16-2010, 12:21 PM
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Achilleys, you are not alone at all! There are all varieties of drinkers (shorter periods, everyday drinkers, etc). I was an everyday drinker in my alcoholism. It's a bondage and a fake medicine to me. What I notice is the similarity in different people's emotions about it, and that is one thing that helps me. Your family obviously counts, but so do you.
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Old 02-16-2010, 12:22 PM
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Achilleys, by the way, you must like the Red Wings? I am not that big on hockey, but I think I like them more than the Maple Leafs
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Old 02-16-2010, 12:22 PM
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Hit the floor in the morning in prayer find a meeting that evening and hit the floor in prayer before I close my eyes at night in gratitude.

You are correct about it hurting your family. But I had to quit drinking for me.
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Old 02-16-2010, 02:44 PM
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Hi AchilleysTendon

Welcome to SR

I think this is a very common situation:

Here is my fear, I get sober for a couple of weeks and think I can handle drinking, and I can't! I know that now. Any advice of what to do when that feeling creeps up. I am assuming it will again.
It certainly was for me - I spent 15 years in that spiral.
The only thing that worked for me was accepting, finally, I couldn't drink.

I've found that my posts here - and the people too - help keep me on the straight and narrow too.

In the early days whenever I felt like 'a drink', I re-read my old posts here to remind myself of where I came from, and I posted honestly about what I was feeling...I let others post to me and help me through the delusions and cravings.

It's worked very well for me.

Others find they really need that face to face support that comes from something like AA, SMART, LifeRing or any number of the recovery programmes out there...and just about every programme has its adherents here.

Check out these links for a start and read around a little.

http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...resources.html

keep posting!
D
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Old 02-16-2010, 02:50 PM
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Welcome to SR Achilleys.

I have a list of things that are good about not drinking and things that are bad about not drinking and as long as the good outweighs the bad I will not drink. If I am struggling I read the list carefully.

My relationship with my family is the first thing on the list by the way and that alone is enough reason for me not to drink.

I also wrote a letter to my wife promising not to drink and I try to read this weekly in order to remember what got me to where I am.
Good luck to you.
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Old 02-17-2010, 10:07 AM
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Thank you all for the responces! You all touched on some great ideas. In the past when I quit drinking it was to get my wife off my back for a little while. ( I could not see how it was really hurting her. I thought she was just nagging...sad). It was recently when my boy, (who I am a hockey coach, baseball and football coach for.) I cherish him! Well he found a bottle of vodka I had hidden, the look on his face killed me I knew I had really let him down!! This time I am not quiting to get her off my back, I am quiting for me, and all of us.
God bless you all!
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Old 02-17-2010, 10:09 AM
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Originally Posted by Toronto68 View Post
Achilleys, by the way, you must like the Red Wings? I am not that big on hockey, but I think I like them more than the Maple Leafs
Yes of course we love the wings! Hockey is one of the greatest sports on earth!!
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Old 02-17-2010, 10:31 AM
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Welcome to SR! And congrats on deciding to live a sober life.

My recovery tools include some AA meetings, SR, and addiction counseling once a week.
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Old 02-17-2010, 11:19 AM
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Welcome to our recovery community...
Glad to know you are here with us
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Old 04-13-2010, 11:12 AM
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Doesn't sound right to me but as mentioned it could be a controlling issue or just her wish that you could have a few & be that "funny" talkative guy with the glow on.

Maybe you could share why you came here & even your first post. Its obvious that you care about your family & want a better life for yourself & them.

Having a straight forward, loving conversation about the changes you are trying to make & why will allow her to feel that she is a part of your recovery as opposed to a bystander looking to to control the situation.

Just an opinion/thought of someone who wants to see you succeed in beating this addiction.

All of the best in your recovery.

NB

Originally Posted by AchilleysTendon View Post
First, I would like to thank you all for your post's. They were of great help to me today. I honestly thought I was the only person who drank to extreme's. It is really encouraging to see all the people who have booted this horrible habit! I am an alcoholic, one drink is never enough for me.
Here is my fear, I get sober for a couple of weeks and think I can handle drinking, and I can't! I know that now. Any advice of what to do when that feeling creeps up. I am assuming it will again. For now I just think about how hard drinking is on my family. Thanks in advance!
AT.
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Old 04-13-2010, 02:48 PM
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Getting sober for yourself.
Getting sober for your wife.
Getting sober for your kid.

Sounds like a Hat Trick to me!
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