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Old 02-14-2010, 08:21 PM
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What to do...

I just posted on here my first time last night. (Really trying to get sober this time).

Anyway, here's my dilemma. I just got a text message from a friend. They want to go out, and I know what we'll end up doing. This is always how it starts back up again.
In the back of my mind, I want to go out and get hammered, but there's this side of me that wants to be completely sober.
What should I do? Stay at home? I've been by myself for the past 4 days, no other human interaction besides being online. I kind of crave that human interaction right now, but I know I'll just end up drinking again.
Any advice? I haven't called my friends back yet...
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:23 PM
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Keep posting on here, is my advice. People, places, and things are hard to change, sometimes, but you seem to have the willingness by merely bringing it up. Good work on your awareness! And best of luck.
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:26 PM
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Go interact with humans at an AA meeting maybe?
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:29 PM
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Why not, seriously, Go online and find a meeting. You'll see friendly faces and feel good about yourself in the morning because you did the right thing. A little sobriety push a day. Make yourself do something everyday that pushes you tword your goal. This place is great! But, it would have never been enough to keep me sober. But, that's just me.
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:32 PM
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Welcome to SR. Hope you stay and read and post!
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:35 PM
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I've been a bit of a recluse lately and the last thing that I would want to do is walk into a room full of strangers. It's easy to do this online with you guys here, but walking into a meeting around 8p.m. just sounds crazy at the moment.
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:39 PM
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"I've been a bit of a recluse lately and the last thing that I would want to do is walk into a room full of strangers. It's easy to do this online with you guys here, but walking into a meeting around 8p.m. just sounds crazy at the moment."

I'm such a pain in butt! ;-) Sorry, but I have to point out that -This statement is Exactly what goes through the head of everyone before their first meeting!

I couldn't help but point it out.

I don't know what else to tell you. A coffee house?
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:40 PM
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Oh,

And don't call yer friends. ;-)
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:43 PM
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There's a line you'll hear often here but it's true Dave - 'nothing changes, if nothing changes'.

It's not easy to do what we know we should - especially when it means turning our back on all we know...

but if you can make it through the early recovery rapids, you'll look back and think of it as one of the best ideas you ever had.

I promise

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Old 02-14-2010, 08:44 PM
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Why not ask your friend to come with you to a meeting?
It's like walking into a new bar....
full of strangers waiting to meet you....

Ever go to a bar alone?
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:44 PM
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Originally Posted by Dave520 View Post
I've been a bit of a recluse lately and the last thing that I would want to do is walk into a room full of strangers. It's easy to do this online with you guys here, but walking into a meeting around 8p.m. just sounds crazy at the moment.
You just brought me back to early sobriety...it takes time, but when you realize every person in that room was there, it makes it easier. The first step's the hardest.
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:50 PM
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Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
Why not ask your friend to come with you to a meeting?
It's like walking into a new bar....
full of strangers waiting to meet you....

Ever go to a bar alone?

I don't think they'd go with me, in fact, I would feel weird just asking them that, seeing how they aren't bad with alcohol like me...
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Old 02-14-2010, 08:56 PM
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I'm gonna be a **** and not call them back tonight. I'll just say I went to bed early.
I'm going to work out instead, at least I'll get a natural high out of that and it will help me with my frustration.
Thing is, I know I can do this for tonight. I'm running on pure motivation right now, but what do you do down the road?
All I've ever really know about being social is going to the bar (for the most part). Sure, I'll go to lunch with some co-workers, stuff like that.... but so much of my life has revolved around the bar life and drugs and alcohol. It kind of scares me in a way to give it up completely.
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Old 02-14-2010, 09:03 PM
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You did it today, that's great. Try it tomorrow. Don't worry about the distant future. One day at a time
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Old 02-14-2010, 09:23 PM
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Originally Posted by Dave520 View Post
I'm gonna be a **** and not call them back tonight. I'll just say I went to bed early.
I'm going to work out instead, at least I'll get a natural high out of that and it will help me with my frustration.
Thing is, I know I can do this for tonight. I'm running on pure motivation right now, but what do you do down the road?
All I've ever really know about being social is going to the bar (for the most part). Sure, I'll go to lunch with some co-workers, stuff like that.... but so much of my life has revolved around the bar life and drugs and alcohol. It kind of scares me in a way to give it up completely.
You are where I was 50 days ago. I had just quit and my friends wanted to party but I had to say no. I came up with lame excuses at first, then I started to come clean about being sober to some of them. Mostly I just disappeared though.

It was really hard walking into a meeting for the first time. I am 24 and I felt really out of place at first. Now I know a ton of people from meetings and I go several times a week. I have been sober like 51 days now after drinking for like 9 years, and probably 6 of them alcoholically.

The second week I was going to meetings I ran into a guy I know from back in 02/03. We worked and partied together. We both went through some rough patches and ended up in AA. He had 9 months sober when I met him, now up to 10/11 or so. It is cool to have a sober buddy. Just go to meetings, you will meet different people, go to different meetings around town, I have been to a bunch of meetings at different places since I started and have met all sorts of interesting people.
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Old 02-14-2010, 09:24 PM
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I don't post here much but have read a lot in the past. I was exactly where you were 18 months ago and I added to my story more and more until I decided I really wanted to stop drinking. I am very lucky I didn't die or kill someone with my car during that time. My best advice is to please do not think about forever. You have been taking it one day at a time for 4-5 days and the 6th day should be no different. I would make one exception though: Tomorrow, go on line, find a meeting in your area and go to it. When they ask if there are any visitors, raise your hand, tell them your name and tell them exactly what is on your mind. I REALLY wish I had done that from day one. I wasted a lot of time and had a lot of frustration because I wouldn't just trust the people in the room. They have all been exactly where you are right now. Alcohol and drugs isolate us from the world. I am not asking you to go out into the world and tell a normal Joe what is on your mind. I am suggesting that you walk into a meeting and tell them you are new and where you are with this thing. I have a feeling you will have a good experience if you do it. Just a suggestion if you are ready to stop drinking. Good luck!!
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Old 02-14-2010, 09:31 PM
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I'm AA to the point of annoying probably. So, I don't mean to sound like a Nazi.

With that said,

When I came to the rooms, I had no social life. I had no "friends". I didn't realize how lonely I was until I walked into my first meeting and could actually feel the commodity between the people and their attitude towards me of not pity, but pure compassion. They were also genuinely happy for me because they knew the future that was within my reach.

It was their happiness that inspired me. Perhaps because I was so unhappy and surrounded by unhappy people - That it struck me to the core. They say to find people in AA who have what you want. Everyone in that room had what I wanted. There's a special feeling that can come from meetings. If you can just get past that old friend of ours "fear'.

My whole in point in this is that I've been all over the place this week planning a baby shower, I've had pop-ins, phone calls out the butt, and this and that. I realized that I have a ridiculous amount of contacts in my phone. I didn't get voice mails for three days and had 10. This little thing, this little party had me realize the amount of honest, loving, and healthy friends I have. They are all in the rooms. Our friendships are beyond the rooms. These people have become my family. This is not lip service when you hear people say "My AA family". It is just as real as the keyboard I'm typing on.

I just wanted to add this because I just want to grab people by the back of their necks when they talk about not having friends in sobriety!! You have friends, they are waiting for you.
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Old 02-14-2010, 09:40 PM
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Glad you didn't call them, I did find however that once I made the simple statement to my drinking buddies that I didn't drink anymore (no explanation warranted), they stopped bugging me to go out and drink. They never did seem interested in seeing me for other social activities either.. but I don't miss them that much, considering I have a completely different life now.
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