Im Back...Today is the first day of my new life

Old 02-04-2010, 09:49 AM
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Location: Columbus Ohio
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Im Back...Today is the first day of my new life

Well I posted on here a couple days ago, I came here because I was tired of living or not living my life...But I still had smoke and wasnt willing to throw it out, figured I would have the one last high, so i did and yesterday I smoked 4 times....I am proud to say that since 12am I have been soder and plan to keep it that way....For the first time in my 29yrs I actually want to stop, and that has never happened before...I know the road before me is not going to be an easy one, but I honestly believe that having support from here, MA online, and MA land I will get through this!!!! I am really scared, but after reading all the stuff people have posted on here and shared with me I know I really can be happy, and with support I can do this...So I invite all of you to share this journey with me...I can do this, I am worth it, I do deserve to be happy...I have been smoking for 17 yrs so I know that this is going to be hard, but I am going to do this...I will prolly be posting a couple times a day, becuase I know how I am, I will need a lot of support...Thank-you guys so much for showing me that my life is worth living, and I deserve to live it..
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Old 02-04-2010, 09:56 AM
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If you need lots of support then this is the right place to be and yes, you do deserve a life worth living. If you get a craving re-read your post and keep going.
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Old 02-04-2010, 10:16 AM
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Don't resist, allow
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This is a great place for support. I look forward to your updates.
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Old 02-04-2010, 11:22 AM
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Welcome ToL! Congrats on your decision and determination! I'm glad you came back..the people here are an incredible source of strength and they know a bit or two about what you're going through. Stick around...hope to hear more from you!
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Old 02-04-2010, 02:13 PM
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Great decision TOL.
Good to have you with us

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Old 02-04-2010, 03:00 PM
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Unhappy Checking in...

Well i am half way through this day, and to be honest it sucks....Im hungry but dont feel ike eating, i tired to take a nap and just laid there for over an hour, I took a hot bath and it didnt help at all....But i know if I try to smoke I will never stop, so im going to try and lay down again and sleep through this, I dont know what to do, just cant wait to be able to say it has been 24hrs., and the 3 days, etc..
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Old 02-04-2010, 03:08 PM
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Recovery has been a process for me, sometimes painful and difficult, but most of the time the rewards are endless. Stick with it, it gets better. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, I have to work for it and what I get back is worth every ounce of effort.
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Old 02-04-2010, 06:55 PM
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Good for you working on getting through this!

It will get easier and you will feel better, but you need to get through it.
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Old 02-04-2010, 08:00 PM
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I ditto what Astro said.

Keep coming back, as well.
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Old 02-05-2010, 10:07 AM
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Over 24hrs.

Well I still feel like crap, maybe even worse than yesterday, but over 24hrs...
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Old 02-05-2010, 11:10 AM
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Good for you for pressing on. Remember you have quite a history with it. I believe you said 17 years. It will be uncomfortable in the beginning, but it will get better. Patience is a big help in the beginning. I wish you rest and comfort today.
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Old 02-05-2010, 01:46 PM
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I smoked weed for 20 years...the physical stuff wasn't an issue for me but psychologically it was quite difficult at times...give yourself a few days

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Old 02-06-2010, 03:17 PM
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still hanging in....

Well on day 2 of being sober, feel like crap still, sweating like crazy, cant sit still, but im not going to quit....I will do this!!!!!!
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Old 02-06-2010, 04:46 PM
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Congrats on getting thru two days! It will get better!
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Old 02-06-2010, 05:01 PM
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Well done on day 2 of being SOBER!!! Yes, say it - SOBER, in fact, bloody well shout it out because You have done it. Now physically feels like crap you say, sweating, aggitation, sleeplessness and all the other sh*te that comes in the early part with getting clean. When think back about my 1st few days, 'clean' brought many things to mind...kinda like this - 'If my body is reacting like this to not having any alcohol running around it, then holy hell, that was some poweful rubbish I putting into me, look how my body is reacting to getting rid of it's effects...still, I Am going to do this, I don't want my life in tatters anymore and a few days of this and the physical effects will be over and I can start afresh, ready to live a life not dictated to me by an all consuming liquid'. - It also rammed it home to me how pathetic that sounded - being controlled by a harmful liquid!!

These days will be worth it and it will get better hun, that's so true. Day 3 approaches - your strength of character and soul will help. Be good, don't be hard on yourself and before you know it, you can post that you have a WEEK
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Old 02-06-2010, 08:14 PM
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Originally Posted by Arena View Post
before you know it, you can post that you have a WEEK
Arena is right. At the beginning I sometimes wondered how I was going to make it beyond the next five minutes. Then earlier this week I actually had to calculate how many sober days I had just because I was getting used to the changes I had made. Plus the more I thought about it, the more I did not recognize "drunk me" anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I still have patches that I go through, and I just muster up all my strength and make it through somehow.

You can do this, though. From what I have read of your posts, it looks like you have the courage, will and the strength to stick to it.

Stay strong, and keep posting!
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