Day 18 and feeling like I need a pain pill

Old 02-06-2010, 02:20 PM
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RIP Maria
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Day 18 and feeling like I need a pain pill

Hi all:

I woke up today in a really blah mood. I'm on day 18 coming off the Hydro's. I keep thinking about how much better I'd feel with a pain pill. I know it's a rerun of the old ways of thinking, but it's really bugging me. For the last three days I've been up beat and had a lot of energy. What happened with today?

Any suggestions to come out of this mood would be REALLY helpful.

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Old 02-06-2010, 05:16 PM
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Recovery, especially in the early days is not a linear thing, sadly...some days we feel great...then blah.

Heard of PAWs?
Post-Acute Withdrawal Syndrome (PAWS) — Why we don’t get better immediately) Digital Dharma

The important thing is to know this passes...and not to take a backward step.

Do you 'do' NA? now might be a good time to call some numbers... away

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Old 02-06-2010, 05:22 PM
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Early sobriety can be a bumpy road. Feeling up then down, with no warning. It takes time to 'even out'. Hang in there, it does get better.
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Old 02-06-2010, 05:24 PM
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Yes, it's definitely an up and down time, but hopefully you will get past this and feel better.
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Old 02-06-2010, 07:38 PM
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Very normal for where you are at. Cravings for me tend to come out of the blue and I have quit trying to figure out what triggers me. Just remember that they do pass, and they will get less intense and less frequent with time, but mine have yet to go away.
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Old 02-06-2010, 09:04 PM
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I went in and took a shower this morning after this post. Then I forced myself to go outside for a while in the cold. I walked up the long driveway and checked the mailbox. Then I came in to the house worn out.
I've been snacking a lot today to keep my mind off the pills. I spent time reading my fourth book, Twilight Vampire series. I'm gonna be at a loss when I finish this last book. I started the series on my first day of detoxing. I love to read and it's really helped to keep my mind off the pills by sending me into their fantasy world.
I told my husband this morning I was having a hard day with wanting a pill. So he's left me to do for myself. He's been giving me hugs and kisses and tells me he loves me and to hang in there.
We all know and have been told: Our DOC is like a lover to us. When we give it up, it's like we've lost a very dear loved one in our lives. Around about day 30 will be my turning point for not wanting my LOVER in my life like it's been for the past six months. My body feels like it's grieving for that close connection I had from the warmth and good feelings the pills gave me. I get scared, my emotions are on edge and I cry over anything. It doesn't help to have one of my pets dying right now either. I would have my husband tend to her needs, but she doesn't want him anywhere near her. So it's left to me and I cry every time.
Please send words of encouragement.
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Old 02-06-2010, 09:22 PM
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You hit the nail on the head when you said it's like we've lost a lover. Have you sat down and wrote a goodbye letter to the pills? May sound crazy, but it helped me. Let it know what it's cost you so far. . . the reasons you went into detox. That may help. I was addicted to opiates for 25 years so I cost me quite a bit.

As far as the up and down moods, you're right where you're supposed to be. When you get those urges, it's your disease calling out to you. It wants you back really bad. But don't let it win. That's where the old One Day at A Time comes in. Each day, hour, minute that you don't use, congratulate yourself. You mentioned that you're reading, are you doing anything else for yourself? I would take long, hot baths with my book, scented candles, lots of bubbles, deep condition my hair, etc. Let the family know that the bathroom will be occupied for say 45 minutes and if they need to use it, go now or forever hold their pee! lol Do you like to have your nails done? Use the money you would have spent on pills and go have your nails done. Get yourself the next book you may like to read.

You're doing great so hang in there. It's gonna be a bumpy road but believe me, the end results are soooooo worth it. Sorry to hear about your pet. That has to be hard.

God Bless,

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