Im Back...Today is the first day of my new life
 

Well I posted on here a couple days ago, I came here because I was tired of living or not living my life...But I still had smoke and wasnt willing to throw it out, figured I would have the one last high, so i did and yesterday I smoked 4 times....I am proud to say that since 12am I have been soder and plan to keep it that way....For the first time in my 29yrs I actually want to stop, and that has never happened before...I know the road before me is not going to be an easy one, but I honestly believe that having support from here, MA online, and MA land I will get through this!!!! I am really scared, but after reading all the stuff people have posted on here and shared with me I know I really can be happy, and with support I can do this...So I invite all of you to share this journey with me...I can do this, I am worth it, I do deserve to be happy...I have been smoking for 17 yrs so I know that this is going to be hard, but I am going to do this...I will prolly be posting a couple times a day, becuase I know how I am, I will need a lot of support...Thank-you guys so much for showing me that my life is worth living, and I deserve to live it..

If you need lots of support then this is the right place to be and yes, you do deserve a life worth living. If you get a craving re-read your post and keep going.

This is a great place for support. I look forward to your updates.

Welcome ToL! Congrats on your decision and determination! I'm glad you came back..the people here are an incredible source of strength and they know a bit or two about what you're going through. Stick around...hope to hear more from you! :)

Great decision TOL.
Good to have you with us :)

D

Checking in...
 

Well i am half way through this day, and to be honest it sucks....Im hungry but dont feel ike eating, i tired to take a nap and just laid there for over an hour, I took a hot bath and it didnt help at all....But i know if I try to smoke I will never stop, so im going to try and lay down again and sleep through this, I dont know what to do, just cant wait to be able to say it has been 24hrs., and the 3 days, etc..

Recovery has been a process for me, sometimes painful and difficult, but most of the time the rewards are endless. Stick with it, it gets better. Nothing worthwhile ever comes easy, I have to work for it and what I get back is worth every ounce of effort.

Good for you working on getting through this!

It will get easier and you will feel better, but you need to get through it.

I ditto what Astro said.

Keep coming back, as well.

Over 24hrs.
 

Well I still feel like crap, maybe even worse than yesterday, but over 24hrs...:c029:

Good for you for pressing on. Remember you have quite a history with it. I believe you said 17 years. It will be uncomfortable in the beginning, but it will get better. Patience is a big help in the beginning. I wish you rest and comfort today.

Hi TOL

I smoked weed for 20 years...the physical stuff wasn't an issue for me but psychologically it was quite difficult at times...give yourself a few days :)

D

still hanging in....
 

Well on day 2 of being sober, feel like crap still, sweating like crazy, cant sit still, but im not going to quit....I will do this!!!!!!

Congrats on getting thru two days!:c011: It will get better! :)

Well done on day 2 of being SOBER!!! Yes, say it - SOBER, in fact, bloody well shout it out because You have done it. Now physically feels like crap you say, sweating, aggitation, sleeplessness and all the other sh*te that comes in the early part with getting clean. When think back about my 1st few days, 'clean' brought many things to mind...kinda like this - 'If my body is reacting like this to not having any alcohol running around it, then holy hell, that was some poweful rubbish I putting into me, look how my body is reacting to getting rid of it's effects...still, I Am going to do this, I don't want my life in tatters anymore and a few days of this and the physical effects will be over and I can start afresh, ready to live a life not dictated to me by an all consuming liquid'. - It also rammed it home to me how pathetic that sounded - being controlled by a harmful liquid!!

These days will be worth it and it will get better hun, that's so true. Day 3 approaches - your strength of character and soul will help. Be good, don't be hard on yourself and before you know it, you can post that you have a WEEK ;)

Arena is right. At the beginning I sometimes wondered how I was going to make it beyond the next five minutes. Then earlier this week I actually had to calculate how many sober days I had just because I was getting used to the changes I had made. Plus the more I thought about it, the more I did not recognize "drunk me" anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I still have patches that I go through, and I just muster up all my strength and make it through somehow.

You can do this, though. From what I have read of your posts, it looks like you have the courage, will and the strength to stick to it.

Stay strong, and keep posting!