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New here. Nervous.

Old 01-31-2010, 09:51 PM
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New here. Nervous.

Hi there. On Friday I was finally honest with my doctor about how bad my anxiety has become and how much I really drink and how badly I want to stop. I started Campral today and I'm hopeful, but I am feeling super nervous about quitting. It's like I'm losing a security blanket or jumping off the high dive or something.

Feeling like I need some anonymous support, so I Googled something and found SR. I think it will help. I am even nervous to actually post this, but this seems to be the most welcoming and supportive place on the whole internet. So here goes...

I wish I could say this is day one, but I drank a beer with lunch. The last lonely beer in the fridge. Tomorrow will be day one.
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Old 01-31-2010, 09:54 PM
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Welcome to SR! Glad you are here. This is a great place for support.
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Old 01-31-2010, 10:10 PM
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Welcome aboard Christmaslights (:
It's a very good thing to come clean with your doctor, they are not looking to judge you (though I know it is still a scary thing to do) and the more they know the better equipped they are to diagnose correctly.

It was a big step, what you did, I'm proud of you for it.

Hope you have a long stay here.
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Old 02-01-2010, 12:08 AM
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Hi and welcome.

I'm glad you have been honest with your doctor about your drinking and your decision to quit. Are you planning on going to AA?
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Old 02-01-2010, 02:50 AM
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Welcome christmaslights

You'll find a lot of support here
D
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Old 02-01-2010, 05:08 AM
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Welcome to SR! I hope you can find the support you need to stay sober. It's so worth the effort to live sober.
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Old 02-01-2010, 05:52 AM
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Welcome Christmas
When I quit I too assumed that I was losing my best friend but it turns out that that was not the case at all.
Give it a chance and you will find that your life is so much better without the drinking.
It will take a while to realize this but if you stick with it you will get there.
Good luck in your quest.
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Old 02-01-2010, 06:07 AM
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Welcome, Christmas! I was in your shoes a little over seven months ago. My anxiety was off the charts. I went from getting drunk every day to stopping completely. After about two weeks on prescribed medication, my anxiety got less and less. After two months I no longer needed the medication at all. Today my anxiety is totally gone and my life has never been better.

You CAN do this
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Old 02-01-2010, 06:25 AM
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Welcome, Christmaslights - it's wonderful to have you here with us.

I never thought I could live without my constant companion. My whole life had been spent relying on it in every situation. I was no longer happy or having fun while drinking - those days were long gone. Yet still I clung to it, afraid of facing the world "alone". I never realized the prison I had created for myself.

Congratulations on reaching out for a new life. You have a positive attitude and you have SR - the more you post, the nervousness will fade. I found this place by googling health issues of alcoholics. To think I might never have known about this wonderful world of support, love, and encouragement. I hope you'll tell us more about yourself. I found that once the secret was out, a huge burden was lifted from me. I'm sure you'll feel the same.
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Old 02-01-2010, 06:29 AM
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Welcome to SR christmaslights, know that you are not alone in what is up with you right now. I too was scared to death of getting and staying sober, the fears I learned were nothing but my alcoholism trying to convince me to continue to drink.

I like you weant to a doctor, he suggested I go into detox, detox suggested I go to AA & get a sponsor to find a long term solution for my drinking and my life. I did just that, in AA I found hope, I also found out that being sober is the best thing I have ever done for myself and my family & friends.

Feeling like I need some anonymous support
You know that AA stands for Alcoholics Anonymous right?

Why not try some meetings? What do you have to lose? A drinking problem? What do you have to gain? Possibly a solution to your drinking and life problems along with making new sober friends to do things with.
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Old 02-01-2010, 09:09 AM
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Thank you so much, everyone! This place is wonderful. I woke up pleased to not be hungover, but nervous to get out of bed and actually do this for real. I did reward myself with a decaf from my favorite coffeehouse on my way to work and I feel okay, but I know the nighttime is when it's really going to be tough.

FormerBeerLover, your story does sound like just like what I'm going through. I really appreciate you sharing that. I am so so so hopeful to hear your anxiety is totally gone. "Totally gone" sounds like an impossibility at this point. I've lived with it for so long and it has taken over my life...but you have given me some hope.

About AA. I am not completely opposed to it, but would definitely need to do some sort of secular version. I do have two doctors working with me weekly right now, though, and I think that will help. In addition to SR, of course. I can't believe the support here. I have a feeling I will be sneaking in a lot of reading the boards even while at work.
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Old 02-01-2010, 10:10 AM
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Today will be your first day sober! Congrats and welcome!
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Old 02-01-2010, 10:33 AM
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christmaslights one of my sponsees is a devote aethiest, yet we took the steps together, he has been sober for over 2 years now. He is far from the only aethiest or agnostic I know in AA.

There are secular meetings in a lot of areas, many of the folks who attend secular meetings attend regular meetings as well.
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Old 02-01-2010, 02:48 PM
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Welcome! You can always hop into the chatroom tonight for some 'live' support too
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Old 02-02-2010, 07:52 AM
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Made it through day one alright. Had a bath before bed and realized I hardly ever do that without wine. Hardly ever have dinner without wine. Hardly ever do anything at home without wine in the evening.

But dang, it feels so nice to wake up without a headache or instant questions to myself about what I did the night before! I really hope I can keep this up.

Day two. Here we go.

Been reading a lot on here to pass the time. Hopefully I can give back at some point...
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Old 02-02-2010, 08:12 AM
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It's great that you are working with your doctors with this. The most important thing you can do is be honest with them. If you had been taking meds for your anxiety, you will find that, in time, they should begin working better for you.

As anxiety seems to be the "trigger" for your drinking, it is obviously important that you address the causes of anxiety in your life and work on how to address them. Therapy, both group and individual, can be helpful, if you are not already doing it.

We also have forums here on SR specifically for Anxiety Anxiety Disorders - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information and Secular Recovery Secular Connections - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information
They tend to not be nearly as active as Newcomers, but you'll find people who can address some of your questions a bit more specifically though.

Glad you found us. Welcome. Take care.
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Old 02-02-2010, 12:55 PM
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Hi christmaslights! Glad you found us.

That used to be me too. I got much worse though, but life was constantly filled with drinking and I LOVED my wine.

I'm done and have been sober for almost two and a half years now, so awesome!!! I do NOT have the cravings any more and it's amazing that I live my life everyday sober. I don't miss it any more.

By the way, alcohol tends to give us anxiety. I didn't believe it until I got sober and the anxiety left.........as well as sleepless nights. After a week I was sleeping soundly which I also didn't think I could accomplish without getting plastered before bed.

Just keep reading and posting. There's tons of support here, this site is AWESOME!!!!! Welcome to SR!
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