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day 4, first timer

Old 01-31-2010, 02:11 PM
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day 4, first timer

I'm 40 and drank a pint to pint and a half of JD a night for years, have been on kicks where I would drink a whole fifth in a night, always started by 6pm, bed by midnight. Would stop every couple years for a few weeks after having a little awareness of the stupidity of the cycle then start again without a second thought. It has never impacted my professional life to my knowledge and had minimal impact in my personal life other than my wife being concerned for my health.

Went to dry out for a few weeks like usual and my wife mentioned that people get DT's and siezures stopping cold like I do. Freaked me right out, actuall drank for 6 weeks longer reading a bunch of stuff trying to mitigate the risk. Tried tapering off, doesnt work for me at all. Finally sucked it up and went to my GP, he asked why I drink, I said because I cant sleep without it, he said he thought I may have some anxiety as well and gave me ativan, 1mg at night, I also take a multivitamin, B1 and milk thistle from my research on the web. Its been 4 days and I havent had the headaches, chills/sweats, paranoid thougths like usual, its actually been pretty low key. I've slept at least 6 hours at a crack, that didnt happen when I drank even. Always a whiskey guy, never beer.

So I have a few questions for people more experienced than I:

We have had a series of horrific things occur in our personal and professional life over the last few years, usually its pretty easy to use one of them as a reason to drink, and drinking stops me from thinking about stuff.

I'm entering that stage (as Ive felt in the past when i quit for a month or so) where I am bored out of my mind, feel an urge to drink and exercise, meditation, projects, etc dont stop the boredom/craving. Should I up the ativan? 1 mg seems low from what i've read on the net. I've always been a risk taker, live life large kind of person and cant quite seem to feel the mojo when I'm not drinking once a day for some reason, its like I'm slightly depressed or something for long periods of time. Thanks to all responsible for this site, it got me to get real with my doc and start this process.
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Old 01-31-2010, 03:03 PM
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Hi and welcome.

You shouldn't up your prescription meds without talking to your doctor. You say you are a risk taker.........by wanting to up the meds to replace the alcohol are you not wanting to replace one addiction with another. Is this really a risk you want to take?


There is a solution to recovering from alcoholism and learning to live a happy life sober. I found it in the 12 Steps of Alcoholics Anonymous.

Well done on choosing to quit and 4 days sober.
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Old 01-31-2010, 03:04 PM
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Cheapshot,
You sound exactly like me. I would drink 1/2 a Ltr. per night, and quit frequently. I'd finish a bottle one night with the intention of it being my last. The next morning, I'd get up and be fine with the idea of not drinking. By the time I got off work I would be in a flat out argument with myself over getting a bottle.

If I managed to win the argument and go home without visiting the liquor store, I would end up napping on the couch because I was bored without the booze. When my wife got home from work, I'd get up but would be restless and irritated constantly.

I'd get angry over the stupidest things. If the coffee filter didn't slide in right the first time, I'd slam the coffee pot around and swear a lot. That sort of thing. This would go on for as long as I didn't drink.

I made it about 3 months a few years ago because I wasn't trying to quit drinking, I was trying to quit smoking, and didn't think I could do it if I were drinking. Eventually I went back to both. Since then, the intervals of sobriety have been shorter and shorter. I use to go 3, 4, maybe 5 days and either I would find some disaster in my life to justify drinking, or I would find something to celebrate to justify drinking. Or, I would be so grouchy my wife would bring a bottle home just so she could stand to be around me.

When I finally gave up quiting, when I hit my bottom and realized that I could NEVER quit on my own, then I started thinking about ending my life. I was looking for some sort of suicide hotline on the internet, and somehow found this site. You can read my first post here: First Post/Step I guess

The people on this site gave me the courage to go to an AA meeting that very day. I am SO grateful, I can't express it in words.

I now have 2 1/2 months of sobriety, and I did have those feelings of depression, restlessness, and irritability, but I've learned they will pass. I've also learned how to deal with my emotions without suppressing them with alcohol.

I encourage you to try an AA meeting. At least one. If you don't identify with 90% of the people there, I'd be amazed. The program really works. People are fond of saying it's not the only way, but I think it's the easiest way.

Good Luck! and keep us posted!
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Old 01-31-2010, 03:16 PM
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Sorry, the link wasn't working in my earlier post, I think I have it fixed now.
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Old 01-31-2010, 03:22 PM
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Welcome to SR! I'm glad you joined the family. Lots of support and good info here.

I'd be very careful with the ativan, if I were you. I was taking it for a while and became dependent on it, physically and mentally. It is a very addictive med and the withdrawals are not pretty. There are other things to help with anxiety that aren't addictive. Ask your doctor for help with something other than the benzos.

I too have a problem with boredom and it was often a reason to drink in the past. Now I'm having a lot of boredom due to the cold weather and isolation it brings, but I'm not drinking over it. There's a sticky thread at the top of the page titled "looking for something to do". Maybe some of those suggestions will work for you. http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/...ething-do.html

It might also be worth your time to see a doctor (or shrink or counselor) to see if you're depressed. I used to drink as a way to medicate my depression and anxiety but now that I'm sober, my antidepressants work a lot better.

All the best to you as you begin a sober life. It's not always easy but it sure makes life simpler and eliminates a lot of risk.
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Old 01-31-2010, 03:31 PM
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Hi cheapshot

We cannot give medical advice here, so the best thing to do is ask your doctor.

I think though it's good to note the experiences of people here - medications like ativan can be dangerous. I presume your dr prescribed your dose as set for a reason.

Boredom cravings and anxiety are things most of us have to face at some time. You're not alone.

Read around and post as much as you like. You''ll find a lot of support and encouragement here

Welcome!
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Old 01-31-2010, 05:45 PM
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thanks

for the advice, I'm from a real small town, may try to find a meeting in another town. Man, I could use a drink right now.
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Old 01-31-2010, 06:23 PM
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Hang on and don't give in to the urge to drink. It will pass. Just for today, don't drink. It's easier to do if it's just a day at a time.
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Old 01-31-2010, 11:36 PM
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I do hope you find another meeting to go to. Let us know how you get on.
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Old 02-01-2010, 01:38 PM
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day five

My local party store guy had a pint on the counter when I walked up with a coke last night, felt good to say no thanks. Bet they stock a lot less JD now.
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Old 02-01-2010, 02:55 PM
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Originally Posted by cheapshot View Post
My local party store guy had a pint on the counter when I walked up with a coke last night, felt good to say no thanks. Bet they stock a lot less JD now.
Great job! Keep up the good work.

Have you ever read the book, Alcoholics Anonymous? It would make a great read when you're board. You can usually find it for around $7.00.

Keep us updated on how it's going, and if you start having problems, PLEASE post before drinking.

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Old 02-01-2010, 03:46 PM
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congrats on day five, cheapshot

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