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My Aunt...

Old 01-27-2010, 12:45 PM
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My Aunt...

My aunt is dying of stage IV cancer and I don't know how to feel about it. I truly don't know how to feel.

I've tried to be happy for her (finally pain free), sad, angry, etc. but I just have an emotional block. I'm trying to deal with sobriety and this and I still feel like an emotionless blob yet I can read a thread about someone's sponsor and feel the pain.

I don't know what's wrong with me, am I using some sort of denial technique to prepare me for her death by avoiding the reality? I'm trying to accept the reality but I can't seem to get it to bother me like I feel it should. Or maybe, I don't see the need to morn her loss when she is still here.

I just don't know - it just doesn't feel right.
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:06 PM
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Hi Untox,

I really don't know what to say, although the fact you have been thinking through your reaction to this and posting here suggests you are not in denial. People deal with traumatic situations and grief in all sorts of ways.

I'm sorry your Aunt is going through this........we are here for you as and when the emotions hit you.

Take care.
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:14 PM
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There is nothing wrong with you. My mom died of cancer, someone I love with all my heart and I was actually the strong one.....go figure. Later the emotions hit sometimes at the oddest times. Maybe your just going to be one of the strong ones while she is here?
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:15 PM
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Originally Posted by intention View Post
Hi Untox,

I really don't know what to say, although the fact you have been thinking through your reaction to this and posting here suggests you are not in denial. People deal with traumatic situations and grief in all sorts of ways.

I'm sorry your Aunt is going through this........we are here for you as and when the emotions hit you.

Take care.
Thanks intention, I had been meaning to send you a nice comment on your profile letting you know how much I appreciate your perseverance in helping others on this site - your selfless nature is one to be envious of.

I'm still trying to get out of myself and some of the posts I make seem self-fulfilling, so I guess recovery is selfish? I'm so confused, typical of me to take a simple glass of milk and throw the spice cabinet in it to make it complicated.

I digress, as is my modus operandi, I REALLY appreciate you intention!
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:17 PM
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Originally Posted by Dean62 View Post
There is nothing wrong with you. My mom died of cancer, someone I love with all my heart and I was actually the strong one.....go figure. Later the emotions hit sometimes at the oddest times. Maybe your just going to be one of the strong ones while she is here?
I hope so Dean and thank you - I'm sorry for your loss, when did it happen?

I don't know what to make of myself anymore, but I hear you. Why question a mood, although not happy, isn't sad? It just is.
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:22 PM
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Prayers out for your Aunt and your family Untox.

D
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Old 01-27-2010, 01:24 PM
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Prayers out for your Aunt and your family Untox.

D
Thank you D, truly.
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