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My wife is a degrading drunk!

Old 01-19-2010, 02:21 PM
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i actually tried to edit and get rid of that stupid you rock but couldnt, best regards to
all, and by the way i still hate sundays,haha, pls can you give us more choice of smilies
hehe.
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Old 01-19-2010, 05:38 PM
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Originally Posted by dasha View Post
Any consolation mfrankl6, my wife also is a raging alcoholic, we have though a lovely
3 yr old daughter that needs lookin after, if it was,nt for this fact i would be gone
dont get me wrong, we are both actually partners in crime so to speak, but im tryin
hard to break free from this way of ill being, as i see its not the way forward and far
from a good example to a growing infant!! my father was an alcoholic, but my mother
was not!! were both her parents were! and her mother died in her early 40s, so you
could say the alternative to healthy living dye was cast! as is the case with most here!
so good luck to all that do the hard work to change and better there lives

Thanks I feel you on that. I am used to the occasional or casual drink only but the way my wife abuses it. I no longer have the desire to drink. she drinks enough for the both of us to make up a lifetime of drinking. Just try and stay on task and see a counselor. This forum has given me a great deal of inner peach knowing I wasn't the only one with the issues. Trying to keep my head up. You do the same.
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Old 01-19-2010, 05:47 PM
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Have you tried putting her in a recovery program? Like 24/7 rehab? Intervention? I'd try that first, be supportive while she's there, and get yourself some freaking rest and perspective while she's away for 30 days or whatever.
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:07 PM
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Originally Posted by Safira View Post
Have you tried putting her in a recovery program? Like 24/7 rehab? Intervention? I'd try that first, be supportive while she's there, and get yourself some freaking rest and perspective while she's away for 30 days or whatever.
No! I never thought I would have to go that far but now anything is possible.
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Old 01-19-2010, 06:50 PM
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Putting her in rehad will give her a chance to ge out of that cycle of drinking and maybe just maybe she will see what is happening to her.

Education on her part usually helps sober them up or push them down faster for a hopeful faster bottom.

AG
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Old 01-19-2010, 07:11 PM
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Be sure to check out if this is even possible - I'm not sure it is possible to involuntarily commit someone to inpatient rehab unless they're a judicially proven harm to themselves or others.

D
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Old 01-19-2010, 07:16 PM
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"No! I never thought I would have to go that far but now anything is possible."

It's a lot less radical choice than 1. continuing to fight with her/have all kinds of BIG marital issues (including sexual) ruining your life or 2. divorcing her (which I wouldn't rule out, but it's definitely going pretty far

30 days in a recover center could provide a refreshing break for you, and some new perspective for her. Sending a strong message to your kids about how you handle alcoholism under your roof. If you send her there, also, it should give the kids a chance to communicate with you how they feel, without being afraid of hurting her feelings...

Of course, rehab is not gonna make the problem disappear, at all, but it would be (at the very least) a little rest and respite. You can get your head together...
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Old 01-19-2010, 07:34 PM
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Your dealing with a disease taht eefects you all and you need to take this into the Friends and Family forum as well as here, to get some real understanding and to take some action.
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Old 01-20-2010, 06:29 AM
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My wife is going to see the psychiatrist recommended by our marriage counselor today!
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Old 01-20-2010, 07:27 AM
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When is your first al-anon meeting?
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Old 01-20-2010, 07:29 AM
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Safira: you can't just "put" people into things.

No, a husband cannot just "put" his wife into a rehab center because he is tired of her drinking.

Dee brought up this point: it is either court ordered as an alternative to incarceration or it is self-voluntary. Quite frequently it is in conjunction with a work or job related situation. Many employers pay for rehab.

It all goes back to the alcoholic wanting to change him or herself, not a case of other people forcing that change. SO, SO so many have come out of rehab with absolutely no intent to change whatsoever.
Recovery starts with the suffering alcoholic wanting to make that change for him or herself. Making that change for others usually doesn't work..
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:36 AM
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Littlefish-

I believe a loving spouse can usually, with some wisdom and diplomacy, convince a wife to enter a helpful community for a temporary time period. I should have clarified that. I do not think that he can force her into rehab, but I do think he could probably convince her that it's a good idea, for the family. Does that make sense?
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:41 AM
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Also, interventions have been known to work from time to time. Mfrank, I'm glad she's going to the psychiatrist. Hopefully it will be a step in the right direction
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Old 01-20-2010, 08:50 AM
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Originally Posted by Gypsy Feet View Post
When is your first al-anon meeting?
Trying to set one up on line!
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Old 01-20-2010, 09:51 AM
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My husband was a big influence on my seeing what had happened through my constant abuse of alcohol. I began to see my life through his eyes and it wasn't pretty. I have to say I was open to this though. I wasn't open to it years before. Glad he stuck with me and glad it has worked out. I am very grateful sobriety finally sunk in.

Good luck mfrank!
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Old 01-21-2010, 05:33 AM
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The psychiatrist prescribed her 20mg of Lexapro and Abilify but I am not sure of the mg. She called her case as Bipolarism. I looked up Abilify thats intense.
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Old 01-21-2010, 11:15 AM
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I'm glad you go her to go to the doctor. I'm wondering if she was up front with the psychiatrist about her drinking?
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Old 01-21-2010, 12:28 PM
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Originally Posted by Hevyn View Post
I'm glad you go her to go to the doctor. I'm wondering if she was up front with the psychiatrist about her drinking?
Funny you would say that. I asked her and she says she was. That may have been the reason for determining bipolarism. Could be incorrect if she didn't mention the drinking.
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Old 01-21-2010, 01:14 PM
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Originally Posted by mfrankl6 View Post
Funny you would say that. I asked her and she says she was. That may have been the reason for determining bipolarism. Could be incorrect if she didn't mention the drinking.
Whatever the diagnosis, surely he would have told her to quit drinking if she had been honest ???
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Old 01-21-2010, 01:15 PM
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Just to add, I wouldn't be suprised if she lied. That's what us alcoholics do about our drinking - even to ourselves.
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