NEJeeper

I live in PA and I have recently come to terms with being an alcoholic. I got my first DUI 3 years ago and as a college student I shrugged it off as a dumb decision. I got my second DUI December 26th and now I know I have a problem. I am 24 years old(25 in June) and I am really struggling with this. I have not had a sip of alcohol since my arrest. I have started attending AA this week and it is really helpful.

I am so lost right now. I graduate in May and I will most likely be losing my license for a while because of the DUI. I have not told my parents yet, they are going to be heart broken. I feel like my life is ruined as many doors closed when I got the second DUI, my major is Environmental Science. I have been having a hard time even eating and sleeping I am so stressed out at this point.

But I am an alcoholic. I have it in my genes, even though I did not always drink every day I still drank heavily and compulsively. When I drank I thought I was being normal and partying like every other college kid but life has shown me otherwise.

I want to take this terrible experience(my next two years are probably going to suck) and use it to further my life. I was a Methodist but have not been to church in 8 years or so. I want to get back to when I was truly happy in life. But I figure that two years of misery will give me several more years of healthy and happy life as I will not be destroying myself with alcohol anymore.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

All my friends drink. So I am staying away from now because I don't think it will help. I have pretty much been alone since 12/26. AA has helped me to get out and talk to some people that won't possibly interfere with my sobriety. Hopefully this site will help me not feel so alone and miserable as well.

Untoxicated

Welcome NEJeeper!

Although I haven't gotten a DUI, if I were presented with a choice to be 24 again with two DUIs and an understanding that alcohol and myself don't mix or to remain DUI free but not "get it" until I'm 33 - I'd gladly take your situation.

A buddy of mine got one when he was 21, he's a strict Christian and hasn't touched alcohol in 8 years - he's never had a problem with alcohol either. Now he has a great job and is living the life of a rock star...a sober rock star at that. Moral of the story:
Your DUI(s) won't do you any favors but it is far from the end of your professional career. You've got youth on your side and an understanding of what you can and can't do.

Just keep doing the right things (don't drink, go to meetings, and post on this site to vent or eventually...share happiness and success).

Glad you're here!

jaitch

Hello NEJ, a ruined life is an excellent starting place for recovery, power to you.

Horselover

Welcome to SR. I think it might be a blessing that you have discovered you are an alcoholic at such an early age and also be grateful that you or no one else was harmed by driving drunk. I do see some gratitude in this situation.

If you change your life now you will have many, many productive years ahead. I knew I was back in my 20s and even went to AA, but I didn't give the program a chance. I got a sponsor but that's about it. I saw differences and wanted to see differences. The alcoholic in mean screamed "You are not one of them." "You are too young." Needless to say I dropped out and continued drinking until my 40s.

I never still got a DUI or some of the other things, BUT I almost lost the opportunity to become a Mom. I couldn't fathom staying sober and changing my life to become a Mom. Sick! Sick! Sick! I didn't see it or in one word - DENIAL!

My heart goes out to you and I am so grateful you are making the changes now to ensure a brighter future. Don't let it go on another day.

Kjell

Hi NEJ-

I'm 33 and I also have two dui's. My trial is still pending for the 2nd one and yes, I'm scared. ...but we have to think about what could have happened. Man, we could have taken away someone's Mom or Dad or Son or Daughter. God must want us alive and sober.

See, I admitted I was an alcoholic way before the 1st dui, but it took reaching a deeper bottom, which took almost two years (dui's, lost girlfriends, jobs, etc...) to accept what I was.

It's gonna take a lot of work and you'll have to change a lot of things (especially your friends). You'll need to change your whole life and the way you think (IMHO).

...but there is good news. You can stop all the wreckage right now. Keep up the good work and good luck.

NEOMARXIST

Hi Man. Your story reminds me much of mine. I got done drink-driving (or DUI as you yanks call it!) and banned from driving for 18 months. I had Just turned 22. It sucked TBH suring that 18 motnhs and I continued drinking/drugging heavier than ever but at least I couldn't lose my license again as I didn't have it to lose.

I have also had to give up booze completely as if i drank again I would end up ruining everything in my future ie- another DUI, job, drug possesion etcetc

It's hard at times sure but for us alcoholics there really ain't any other way and drinking just turns into a nightmare of blackouts and bad sh*t happening.


All the best , Peace.

Sober25

Let's put all this in perspective. You are 24 years old and in college. You have admitted that you are an alcoholic and have gotten in AA, and you think your life is ruined? It sounds to me like you have a lot going for you. You are certainly in much better shape than I was at 24.

You have many years ahead of you and you are getting a good education. Be grateful for it. If you stay in AA and stay sober you can have a very good life. Your life is just beginning. Smile. Be happy. You have every reason to be jumping up and down with joy. I know it may not feel like it right now, but if you keep up what you are doing with AA and your recovery you have a reason to be hopeful.

Fubarcdn

Welcome to SR NEJeeper.

I agree with what most others have said in the fact that you are tackling your drinking problem while you are still young.
You have a very bright future and in a few years this will be nothing but a small blip on the radar screen.
I got a DUI but kept drinking for another 20 years. I never drove when I was drinking again but it took another twenty years to admit that I didn't have a drinking and driving problem. I just had a drinking problem.
Hopefully I have finally solved that problem and will remain sober for ever.
Good luck to you.

Mark75

Don't write off the next two years. There are some difficult times ahead with the legal stuff, sure, but you are setting yourself up for failure...

What about today? What's gonna happen today... tomorrow's gonna come... worry about it then... you are alive, in college, your whole life in front of you. You have no idea what kind of crazy good times you will have.

Keep your eye only on the next step in the process... if you look at the whole thing it becomes overwhelming.

You can do it.

Mark

Dee74

I agree with everyone else NEJeeper - at 24 I was just starting on wasting my next 15 years...you have a wonderful chance for a new start.

It won't be easy, but take your lumps, stay committed to your new life and you'll get through it. Many many people here have, so I have no doubts for you

I hope you keep posting here too - this is a wonderful community - you'll find a lot of support here.

Welcome to SR
D

NEJeeper

Tomorrow will be two weeks, I am really liking AA and have been to like 5 meetings and met some awesome people. I am already feeling better about life.

I got the charges today and it looks like I am being charged with 1st offense DUI which is WAY better than 2nd, I hope it works out. A year without a license right after getting my degree will suck but I can handle it. Living in the boonies in PA this is going to be rough. Thanks for the support.

humblestudent

Don't be too hard on yourself. As a parent of a grown child, I can tell you that if I got this news, I would be feeling sympathy and empathy for the pain my child was going through, but my heart would not be broken...after all, my child would tell me that they recognized the issue, and taking active steps to obtain help and perspective. I would realize that this could've been sooooooo much worse, yet, is not, and I would be thankful that my child is finding the way out. Conversely, what would undoubtedly break my heart as a parent would be watching my child actively self-destuct for years and years. You're not doing that...you're making progress. Be very proud of yourself for that. I'm sure your parents will be...

Peace and hugs to you...:day6

NEJeeper

I have been thinking a lot lately about my past and remembered something I hadn't thought of in forever.

I am turning 25 in June. I remembered the first time I got drunk. I was in 5th grade and swiped wine from my parents. Then periodically I would get beer left in coolers at night from parties(family gatherings) my parents drink like a beer a month and they would get a case of beer and have like 10-18 left after my family was over. The only person who drank more than one was my one uncle. I wonder if they thought he drank the 5-6 beers I swiped?

Damn I have been drinking for longer than I thought. But after accepting my condition and trying to remedy it I am feeling better on some level than I have in a long time. And terrible in other ways.

I used to go to church every sunday. I have not been since I was 16. I miss the good old days before I was broken. I got some fixin' to do now.

Stereosteveo

I love hanging out at my new lounge with my old drinking buddies. So much easier on the wallet too.

I doubt you'll loose your license. I bet worst case scenario you have to get a breathalyzer installed. I know a guy with 4 DWI's and a breathalyzer. The govt. doesn't want you stuck at home. Obama wants you paying for healthcare.

My only suggestion would be just keep going to AA for at least the next 2 years. Try to go everyday? Also make use of what your church has to offer. The AA book says "Be quick to see where religious people are right, make use of what they have to offer." Your post has helped me a lot. I just remembered and realized for the first time in a long time, that I was even happier when I was goiong to church along with AA.

Take care Jeeper. And thanks for sharing.

nogard

Welcome and congrats

NEJeeper

So I have been sober for 24 days now. I now have a sponsor in AA. I spoke to my mom and dad and told them and they are both relieved and proud of me. I have not mentioned the DUI yet as I am going to wait for the outcome of the preliminary hearing Feb. 1st.

NEJeeper

I've been sober for almost a year now. It was interesting reading this post that I wrote while first coming to terms with my alcoholism.

So now I am doing great. I went to court and got
90 days house arrest(over and done with as of Nov. 14th)
12 Months probation(<8 months left)
14 months license suspension(<14 months left)

But I am sober and happier than I have ever been in my life. I found myself and:
Quit smoking September 16th 2010
Began training for triathlon
I can swim a mile, run 9 miles, and have biked >50 miles at a time. I am in the best shape of my life.
I taught myself and am teaching myself to play the banjo. I love it.
My family and I are on better terms than ever before.
My grades got better in school.
I still have friends. I lost the fake ones and kept the good ones.

I went to Atlantic City for two days this past week with my air force friend.
I kept my AA chip in my pocket, but I really didn't have a problem not drinking there. I got free soda at all the bars. I had a good time with my friends and felt good the next morning.

I love waking up and not wanting to die. I love not worrying about if I hit someone the night before, or made an ass out of myself. I love not being embarrassed about things I've done.

I would not have felt it would be possible to feel this good last year. Monday 12/27/10 I will be 1 year sober.

If you are just getting clean now, keep it up. Go to meetings. It will get easier and life will get so much better.

Did I mention I dropped like 35 pounds and I have abs now? Sobriety rocks.

The only bad thing right now is there is pretty much no chance of finding a decent gf while I don't have a license, but I can live with that I guess.

mygrandfather

NEJ, what an awesome and inspirational post, if I can post something like this next year, well I am just going to keep going day-to-day.

imatryinhard

I second mygrandfather - great post. How exciting for you! Quite an accomplishment.

CarolD

Merry Christmas and an early.....