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Old 01-06-2010, 03:26 PM   #1 (permalink)
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help!


I am on day 11 and I have had no cravings whatsover. I have felt really strong. But yesterday my mum arrived from interstate for a visit for another 4 nights. We ALWAYS relax at night with a glass of wine and a beer. She doesn't drink alot.

I am using all my strength not to buy some wine because its our time together. She knows I am not drinking for health reasons so there is no pressure, but I want this with her.

It sucks that I can't just have one, because that will ruin my count and make me feel like crap with no willpower. And ruin my health kick too because I know I will think, well if I drink I don't exercise.

How am I supposed to stop drinking alcohol forever if I can't even get past this. When she goes home, life will be back to normal for me, so I don't want to ruin it. But my willpower (that thing that I said I had in spades) is fast waining........If I can get through until next Monday I will feel very strong.
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Old 01-06-2010, 03:28 PM   #2 (permalink)
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Have you looked into meetings?
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Old 01-06-2010, 03:34 PM   #3 (permalink)
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I live out of town and there are no meetings close by, and I have 3 children so its impossible to get there. Excuses I know but thats it. That's why I post here....
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Old 01-06-2010, 03:46 PM   #4 (permalink)
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I truly think it's not about willpower.

It's about accepting that you have an addiction.

I would not have been able to do what you are planning and remain sober, but I hope it works for you.
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Old 01-06-2010, 03:49 PM   #5 (permalink)
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I doubt any of us would be posting in this forum if our willpower was sufficient. May you find whatever you need to be happy and free. Wish i had more to offer.
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Old 01-06-2010, 03:54 PM   #6 (permalink)
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hi
I am new here hope you don't mind me posting
You have done so well. I relate to the relative and friend routines totally. My adult son was here and we share a few glasses of wine its what we do,round the kitchen table with a meal.
I stopped alcohol (health advice) for 6 weeks and found the normal rituals of opening a bottle on a fri night with good friends the hardest part.
Stay strong you are doing great by the sound of it xx
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Old 01-06-2010, 04:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Hey Sunshine

You have done so well to date, keep that in mind!

I had my mum down over Christmas so know the exact feeling except it was always me trying to get my mum to have one. I told her I dont drink anymore so she didnt have any even though I told her it was ok (who knows why i thought that the time lol).

Is there any chance you can tell her that you need her help and could she go without for just 4 days? Especially since you said that she doesnt drink alot. Why not try finding a new ritual like a card game or something that will start a new tradition that doesnt involve drinking?

Just my thoughts and suggestions but i do hope you are ok and yell out continually here if you are not - even jump into chat!

take care
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Old 01-06-2010, 04:50 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Lionheart pretty much just said what I was thinking I also had my mom stay over the holidays, and it was the toughest time I've had... chrissie combined w/ the fact that mom and I usually drink wine together.
I think what Lionheart said about creating a new routine/ ritual w/ your mum is key.

When my mom was here we stayed busy... shopping, walking, theatre, visiting friends etc., which helped keep my mind off of other things.

Good luck, you can do this and I bet you'll feel really good about yourself when she goes home and you realize you've overcome another obstacle. xx
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Old 01-06-2010, 04:56 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Thank you, I just had a revelation (in the shower!) that I am not having cravings as such, (I would rather sit and have a cuppa tea and a chocolate! than a wine) but I am having a habit. It is a habit to sit and have alcohol at night with her, its something that we just "do"! Like a previous poster said.

So I need to break this habit, because if I don't, everything I have said while posting here is worth nothing.
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Old 01-06-2010, 05:08 PM   #10 (permalink)
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For me, I found that once I created new rituals that didn't involve alcohol, the old drinking rituals weren't important anymore.

Use this time to create a new ritual - go to a movie, go for a hike, play a board game, etc.

The benefit of the one drink is really very little.
The cost of the one drink is huge.
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Old 01-06-2010, 05:28 PM   #11 (permalink)
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I think Anna's right - it's not about willpower, it's acceptance...alcohol is bad for you and me, and we cannot have just one.

There are new rituals, new bonding moments to discover - just as effective and far less harmful - you just have to make them happen.

Go the Tim Tims and the cuppa!
D
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Old 01-07-2010, 01:23 AM   #12 (permalink)
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So I had three opportunitys to buy alcohol during our travels and shopping today, and I have come home empty handed!! We even had lunch with our visiting family at the club and I had a soft drink, which I usually do because I was driving. But the bottle shop was right there.

So it's soft drink and a chocolate for me tonight! We went shopping and I bought a girly shirt and I love it, and I have so many pretty clothes that I don't wear because all my wine goes to my middle!!!!

If I start drinking again, I won't be healthy and my clothes won't fit, which they are starting too! So that's the thought of the day. And actually I don't want a glass of wine....
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Old 01-07-2010, 01:45 AM   #13 (permalink)
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Hi SunShineBaby.....

I just found this post......what wonderful support and ideas for you!! I am putting some of them in my recovery toolbox!!

I feel the joy in your voice for not giving into that dreaded beast that is just patiently waiting for an opportunity to take you down......Oh and how patient that beast is!! Keep on winning that battle because YOU are worth it!!

Congratulations on your 11 days!! That is TREMENDOUS!! Your health is number one......take care of you today!!
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Old 01-07-2010, 04:13 PM   #14 (permalink)
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Thank you so much!!!! Doing good today. We have more family arriving today and I still don't want to drink. We sat and read and drank tea and ate Tim Tams last night, it was awesome!!
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:02 AM   #15 (permalink)
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I am glad to hear it is going well, keep up the good work!
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Old 01-08-2010, 01:06 AM   #16 (permalink)
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..we're in this together..luv..Oz..
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