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Old 01-04-2010, 10:33 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Living in the moment!
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Originally Posted by humblestudent View Post
At least I feel really strong right now. I'm afraid of when temptation hits, or triggers come my way, like a beautiful sunny Friday summer afternoon. How will I feel then? I don't know...I guess I can't go there. I just have to focus on now, and focus on how good it feels to be doing something ELSE.

Hi humble,

Soooooo goood to hear from you!! I love Dr. Phil and the quote "How's that working for ya!" Kinda makes me feel silly for how long I have continued with something that is SO Obviously NOT working for me!! GGGrrrrrrrr

So funny that you make note of a sunny day being a trigger......OMG, I can absolutely relate to that! I don't know of anything that is NOT a trigger in my life!! HHmmmm, my eyes are open....Oh, Oh...that's a trigger!! I guess we will just need to prepare ourselves for them. Put some recovery tools in our toolbox so they will be there when we are faced with such trials in our daily lives!! I believe it will take time.......I am wiling to do the work today and give the time needed to learn about these tools!!

Welcome to my journey in Sobriety!! Glad we don't have to go it alone!!

Day 4
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Old 01-04-2010, 10:37 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
Living in the moment!
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Hi CoffeeNut and Barb,

Thank you sooooo much for the warm welcome!! I have been reading some of your
posts around SR and I see sooooo much loving support, kind words and wisdom from you both!! I can't wait to get me some of that too! LoL!!

Welcome to my journey in Sobriety........I need you, I can not go it alone!!

Thanks!!
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Old 01-04-2010, 10:41 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Living in the moment!
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Originally Posted by louis View Post
Hi there

I hope 2010 is your year too... you sound like you have a strong commitment and that will help... remember its a a day at a time... keep in today... nowt we can do about yesterday... and cant worry about tomorrow...

Today is the day i need to be commited to staying sober and i am

Take care
Thank you soooooo much, Louis......your support is greatly appreciated and dearly needed!!
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Old 01-06-2010, 12:52 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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InsideOut-

I am touched that something I wrote would have such a positive benefit for you! Thank you for your extremely kind words in return.

I hear you regarding placing other people's needs before your own. You and I have a different set of circumstances in our present lives and I just want to take a moment to recognize and offer respect to your incredible commitments to others. As a wife/mother, I can only imagine the various ways and degrees of depth which other people need you and your time. My most meaningful commitment to others is to pay rent on the 1st of the month (har har). So I definitely want to give you props for starting your journey while you have your entire live, and all the moving parts that that constitutes, revolving around you.

Life is certainly a balancing act and it sounds like you have your hands full, so before you go any further, give yourself a pat on the back for being there for all those people thus far. It's not easy to give yourself credit for everything you have done for everyone else up to this point, especially when the complete picture includes struggles with drinking, but you have kept it together this long and that is something worth recognizing!

Learning to accept ourselves, with all of our strengths, weaknesses, positives, negatives, accomplishments and flaws, is something I feel human beings have always been faced with, and we are especially faced with in modern times. Maybe I'm suffering from a wee bit of "21st century-ism", and I am in no way taking anything away from the thousands of years of human struggle, conflict, innovation, thinking and successes that predate our modern times. But the face of the planet, in every aspect, has never changed as much as it has over the last ~200 or so years in the history of the Earth. Along these lines, I clearly see the exacerbation of the human condition when it comes to simply accepting ourselves as we are.

Speaking of simply recent times, with the advent of the industrial revolution, we've seen remarkable and dramatic changes in every aspect of our lives. Science and technology have given us abilities and resources that have been unthinkable to the literally thousands (yes, thousands) of years of human civilization that predate our time here on Earth. We also face unprecedented crises that the world has never had to face before on a global scale. The risks and rewards of living in 2010 are surely great indeed.

And while things have changed in unthinkable ways recently, it's remarkable just how much some things have not changed at all. With all this in mind, it comes as little surprise that it's practically an act of revolution to accept ourselves for who we are, as we are, in this day and age. Advertisements trying to pry away at our self esteem and self reliance jump from every page, street corner, wall, television/radio broadcast, and from just about every angle imaginable. From the type of car we drive to the brand of gum we chew, we're under a constant mental pressure to think and act in ways that is (usually) beneficial to those other than ourselves. While advertisements are simply one facet of modern day living that I am highlighting here (there are legions of other topics we could touch upon), and they certainly aren't anything new in any way, maybe its just me and my "21st century-ism" again, but it sure SEEMS to be ever more invasive with each passing year.

The point of this whole long winded tirade is just to illustrate how hard it is to simply accept ourselves as who we are. It can be an enormous trick to pull it off. We as people are constantly under enormous pressure to gain social acceptance - which is absolutely nothing new, humans are just hard wired this way. It can seem impossible to break free of the thoughts of self doubt, self hating, self destructing. But it IS possible, and change is on the way! Just by taking these first steps away from addiction and towards the real you, you have set into motion the process of change that will last a lifetime!

It's hard to accept ourselves and make time for ourselves. With all of your various commitments to your family and those outside of your family, it can feel like you will never have any time for yourself! It certainly doesn't help that every toothpaste, soft drink and cigarette ad we see is trying to illicit an emotional response about ourselves - usually one of inferiority, which will (of course) be remedied by buying the product being advertised to us.

But real, lasting change is indeed a reality. I have struggled with self image issues for a very long time. While I am not where I want to be as of yet, just recognizing the thoughts, emotions, and feelings in play gives me a compass with which to direct myself. By simply just being aware of the various family commitments I have to meet, the societal commitments I have, and the environment I live in, I feel better just knowing what variables I am working with. And while I still struggle with these issues, I at least have been able to take it a day at a time and recognize that the feelings don't last forever and will eventually subside. That can be super hard when you have a lot of people in your face and needing your attention right that moment, I respect that. Taking even 5 minutes away for myself at various intervals of the day I found helps me in tremendous ways; your mileage may vary.

Sorry for being so long winded! I just heard what you had to say and said to myself "Self, this really sounds like me writing here!" Responding (and dumping all this on you guys, sorry) helped me think about how I feel about everything. So thanks for listening! The bad feelings are a part of life, but they aren't the only feelings in play, and they are definitely manageable. Tell yourself something positive about yourself today, and repeat it! I wish you nothing but success and happiness as you continue your journey! 2010 is YOUR year, don't forget it!

//_wlx

Last edited by wichitalineman; 01-06-2010 at 12:59 AM. Reason: Fixed typo.
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Old 01-06-2010, 12:55 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Welcome to SR.


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Old 01-06-2010, 12:58 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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Hey Humblestudent,

I would probably be shunned in my social circles (ha) if I admitted that I liked some of the things Dr. Phil has said, but I secretly confess here that I do. I like the quote you brought up, I hadn't heard that one. I've only caught snippets of Dr. Phil's work here and there, but I've liked some of the stuff he has said.

Wow! Day 10 is starting, what a feeling! How you doing? Hanging in there? I am walking around just light as a feather! The physical sickness that comes with drinking is not a part of my everyday routine, and I cannot even describe what a gift that is! Walking past places filled with people drinking all manner of alcohol has had a different affect on me this time around, I don't know how to describe it. I just feel ... detached. Detached from wanting to poison my body. Detached from wanting to tank my finances (man, drinking can get spendy when you drink heavily!). Detached from... that.

I just wanted to thank you for your post, check in with ya, and wish you a very very good week! Hang in there, keep it going strong, 2010 is our year!! Rock on!

//_wlx
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