Hello and Thanks for the Help
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NorthWest
Posts: 117
Hello and Thanks for the Help
I’ve been lurking here for awhile and have found the support very helpful, so I have finally decided to post and hopefully give something back.
Today marks the 3rd week of sobriety (day 21) in my latest and FINAL attempt to become sober.
After over 30 years of drinking and struggling with the problems that come along with it, I made my 1st serious attempt to quit about 2 years ago. This was after a close friend and drinking buddy nearly died from alcohol related illnesses. We both quick drinking and he has remained sober. I, on the other hand, went several months without a drink, decided that “just having a drink now and then couldn’t hurt, right?” Well, you know the rest of the story… I eventually slipped back into my old ways and was back to hard drinking every day. The sad thing was that I was so embarrassed about admitting that I was drinking again, was that I was then doing it on the sly:
- hiding booze around the house and sneaking drinks when nobody would see.
- Stopping in for a quick one (or 2 or 3) at a dive where nobody new me, when out running errands.
and so on... a drunk can be very resourseful.
Many of my family and friends were actually glad to think I had quit, and I didn’t want them to know that I really had not.
Now that I am actually quit again, it is like a big weight has been lifted. I don’t have to sneak out for a drink. Don’t have to hide the empties in the trash, etc. And I am actually looking forward to a sober Christmas with friends and family. Anyway, thanks for the support from SR. It has truely been a big help. I've been logging on and reading when those irrational thoughts about it being "OK, just 1" start creaping into my head... and it IS helping to hear the support you give each other.
BBR
Today marks the 3rd week of sobriety (day 21) in my latest and FINAL attempt to become sober.
After over 30 years of drinking and struggling with the problems that come along with it, I made my 1st serious attempt to quit about 2 years ago. This was after a close friend and drinking buddy nearly died from alcohol related illnesses. We both quick drinking and he has remained sober. I, on the other hand, went several months without a drink, decided that “just having a drink now and then couldn’t hurt, right?” Well, you know the rest of the story… I eventually slipped back into my old ways and was back to hard drinking every day. The sad thing was that I was so embarrassed about admitting that I was drinking again, was that I was then doing it on the sly:
- hiding booze around the house and sneaking drinks when nobody would see.
- Stopping in for a quick one (or 2 or 3) at a dive where nobody new me, when out running errands.
and so on... a drunk can be very resourseful.
Many of my family and friends were actually glad to think I had quit, and I didn’t want them to know that I really had not.
Now that I am actually quit again, it is like a big weight has been lifted. I don’t have to sneak out for a drink. Don’t have to hide the empties in the trash, etc. And I am actually looking forward to a sober Christmas with friends and family. Anyway, thanks for the support from SR. It has truely been a big help. I've been logging on and reading when those irrational thoughts about it being "OK, just 1" start creaping into my head... and it IS helping to hear the support you give each other.
BBR
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,787
Welcome to SR and congrats on your three weeks sober! I too was hiding my drinking, or so I thought. Turns out my kids knew when I was drinking despite my efforts to hide it. I recently relapsed and am now on day five. I'm determined to make it this time. I'm too old to keep doing this.
I also find SR to be a lot of help in staying sober. I should have logged on and read/posted before I picked up six days ago. I will do better this time. Together we are stronger than we can ever be on our own.
I also find SR to be a lot of help in staying sober. I should have logged on and read/posted before I picked up six days ago. I will do better this time. Together we are stronger than we can ever be on our own.
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,576
Welcome bbr! So glad you're here with us. It's a huge burden lifted when we can tell our stories and share our ups & downs. Finding SR is what helped me quit and stay that way. I'd tried to do it without support and encouragement & I couldn't make it.
Resourceful - oh, yes we are. I remember playing miniature golf with my son with vodka in a diet pepsi can. Taking a can of beer into the grocery store & heading for the ladie's room to guzzle it down before facing the stress of the produce dept.
For years I'd keep a stash at work & always had my extra supply in my closet at home (so I could appear to just have a 'few' with my husband.) It was scary how I justified doing these things. I can remember them now without shame, though. I understand that I was very sick.
It's great to meet you - hope to hear alot more from you. Congratulations on your decision to live a free life.
Resourceful - oh, yes we are. I remember playing miniature golf with my son with vodka in a diet pepsi can. Taking a can of beer into the grocery store & heading for the ladie's room to guzzle it down before facing the stress of the produce dept.
For years I'd keep a stash at work & always had my extra supply in my closet at home (so I could appear to just have a 'few' with my husband.) It was scary how I justified doing these things. I can remember them now without shame, though. I understand that I was very sick.It's great to meet you - hope to hear alot more from you. Congratulations on your decision to live a free life.
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,518
Hi and Welcome,
Good for you for deciding to live a sober life.
I completely understand how you feel about the weight being lifted from your shoulders. I spent so much time and energy trying to hide my drinking and control my drinking. It was such a relief to step away and let it go.
Good for you for deciding to live a sober life.
I completely understand how you feel about the weight being lifted from your shoulders. I spent so much time and energy trying to hide my drinking and control my drinking. It was such a relief to step away and let it go.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NorthWest
Posts: 117
Originally Posted by least 
Welcome to SR and congrats on your three weeks sober! I too was hiding my drinking, or so I thought. Turns out my kids knew when I was drinking despite my efforts to hide it.
This weekend is going to be a bit of a challange. My spouse and kids are out of town and IF i were still drinking, I would be able to do so without having to hide it. Makes it even more tempting. But I won't today...
Living in sobriety
Join Date: Feb 2009
Posts: 3,870
welcome.
sneaking drinks is a fools game.
we are just trying to anaesthetise our feelings. might as well try and find out whats really going on for you. Have you any support besides here?. Good idea to put something in place.
sneaking drinks is a fools game.
we are just trying to anaesthetise our feelings. might as well try and find out whats really going on for you. Have you any support besides here?. Good idea to put something in place.
The New Me starting 1/11/09
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: California
Posts: 678
Welcome BBR - Yes, we've all been there... wondering how to get rid of all those bottles on recycling day without anyone knowing (or even the recycling guy for that matter).
Cunning, powerful, baffling is our alcoholism.
Remember that stopping drinking is just the first step ... now you need to work on your recovery. You can't recover while drinking, but just not drinking isn't enough.
I highly recommend that you begin a program of recovery. AA worked great for me, but there are many different approaches. No one is right. But, what I have learned is that I need to work on my recovery every day.
Keep reading, posting, and helping others. Welcome. Glad you are here.
Cunning, powerful, baffling is our alcoholism.
Remember that stopping drinking is just the first step ... now you need to work on your recovery. You can't recover while drinking, but just not drinking isn't enough.
I highly recommend that you begin a program of recovery. AA worked great for me, but there are many different approaches. No one is right. But, what I have learned is that I need to work on my recovery every day.
Keep reading, posting, and helping others. Welcome. Glad you are here.
part time member
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,910
The Horror of the bottles.....I use to load up the car (just one method) with bottles and bags when I was going to do errands and throw them out one or two at a time at each store. I am so glad I don't have to do that any longer.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Nov 2009
Location: NorthWest
Posts: 117
As you can see from my post count, I don't post much, but I've been reading everyday and finding that very helpful. Today is 4 weeks (28 days or 672 hours or 40,320 minutes or 2,419,200 seconds)
My resolve to stop seems much stronger this time that the last. I can remember before that little voice saying "It's OK, its the holidays, you're on vavation, time to celebrate with a drink". It still comes back and the more I say "No, ain't gonna happen" the less it seems to keep insisting. The frequency of those urges has definitely gone down.
Still more challanges coming up with Christmas and all the friends and family around me still drinking... but if things get bad, I'll come back and do some more reading on SR.
Have a safe and sober Holidays,
BBR
My resolve to stop seems much stronger this time that the last. I can remember before that little voice saying "It's OK, its the holidays, you're on vavation, time to celebrate with a drink". It still comes back and the more I say "No, ain't gonna happen" the less it seems to keep insisting. The frequency of those urges has definitely gone down.
Still more challanges coming up with Christmas and all the friends and family around me still drinking... but if things get bad, I'll come back and do some more reading on SR.
Have a safe and sober Holidays,
BBR
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