Welcome bbr! So glad you're here with us. It's a huge burden lifted when we can tell our stories and share our ups & downs. Finding SR is what helped me quit and stay that way. I'd tried to do it without support and encouragement & I couldn't make it.
Resourceful - oh, yes we are. I remember playing miniature golf with my son with vodka in a diet pepsi can. Taking a can of beer into the grocery store & heading for the ladie's room to guzzle it down before facing the stress of the produce dept.
For years I'd keep a stash at work & always had my extra supply in my closet at home (so I could appear to just have a 'few' with my husband.) It was scary how I justified doing these things. I can remember them now without shame, though. I understand that I was very sick.
It's great to meet you - hope to hear alot more from you. Congratulations on your decision to live a free life.