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Old 12-14-2009, 01:43 AM
  # 21 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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I can relate I too tried hard to keep my social circle
all of mine were ...at best....excessive drinkers.

...When I told them I was attending AA with recovery
my goal.....most drifted away. That gave me the time to
find more friends who were also working towards sobreity.
AA meetings are where I found them.

I'm not clear on how you found success before
or exactly what your addiction might be...
but perhaps that could be a base for your new life?

You might have missed this article....

How We Get Addicted - TIME

Glad you checked back with us...
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:00 AM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Thank you. I've been sober since 1 December 2009. I hope to make that date my permanent one... The messages of support from everyone are incredible.
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:06 AM
  # 23 (permalink)  
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My addiction is booze, social drinking leads to major excess. I only smoke when I drink, so when I quit the booze, I quit the cigarettes as well. I fooled myself into thinking I had a measure of control before, I now have to face the truth that this is beyond me. I forgot how incredibly damaging drinking was to my mental health... The world becomes incredibly dark and depressing in the aftermath of a binge... I wish there was a way to repair what feels like damage to my actual nerve-endings... I've been so short-tempered ever since my slip... It's doubly hard because recently my wife told me that she's never seen me so peaceful, so easy to be with... Why are we at our most vulnerable when things seem to be at their best..?
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:09 AM
  # 24 (permalink)  
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Hi Dee, it's going well, in that I'm back on the right path, sobriety... Not so well in that I'm struggling with the fallout and so forth... See my reply to CarolID
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:11 AM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Hey Least

As far as staying sober together, you've got it!!!!
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:18 AM
  # 26 (permalink)  
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
 
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Gosh I don't have a clue about marriage/drinking/recovery.
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.

Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.

Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:18 AM
  # 27 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Surlyredhead View Post
Hi and welcome Kanyon

I think (for me anyway) what would be the hardest thing to do after a relapse (believe me, I have had my share) would be to forgive myself for making a mistake, and that is what it was, a mistake. It is not a defect of chatacter to make a mistake, it is called being human. Then I would try to think about my feelings and actions leading up to the relapse after two years. I am sure your wife knows, possibly ask her if you were acting different. Maybe she can help in the future to mention that you are "not yourself". For me, if I am not working on my recovery, I am working on a relapse. There is no middle ground. Then jump back into the good life, and work that recovery. If you had two years sober, you know how to do it. Just never stop "doing it"! Please be kind to yourself, being able to forgive ourselves is one of the most powerful tools we have.

Cathy
I called my wife the minute I read this post from you. It really struck more than a few chords, especially the parts about kindness to oneself, and there being no middle ground. Thanks!!!
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Old 12-14-2009, 02:34 AM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
Gosh I don't have a clue about marriage/drinking/recovery.
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.

Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.

Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Thanks for this reference. It's the first time I'm being exposed to literature on the subject, as well as this type of support forum. I think that going solo the first few times was perhaps part of my mistake. I tend to want to do things by myself, but in this case self-sufficiency might not have been the thing...
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Old 12-14-2009, 03:29 AM
  # 29 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by CarolD View Post
Gosh I don't have a clue about marriage/drinking/recovery.
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.

Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.

Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Just read that and it rings so many bells.
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Old 12-14-2009, 09:20 AM
  # 30 (permalink)  
Sobriety in technicolor
 
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Welcome back - dont let the shame and self pity get too big... That will take you back out as well. Not preaching, but do you do any 12 step stuff? I tried to stay sober without AA and failed miserably. I had to surrender completely. Good luck!
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:28 AM
  # 31 (permalink)  
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Good advice. No, never did any of the 12-step stuff. Always thought I could get thru myself, partly because I was not acknowledging the full extent of my problem. Am immersing myself in literature and this forum, and taking my leads from there. As to self-pity, yep, there is a temptation to wallow a bit, I guess...
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Old 12-14-2009, 11:37 AM
  # 32 (permalink)  
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All I know is that relapse is part of recovery. I hope you find the strength to pick up the pieces and move on.
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Old 12-14-2009, 12:03 PM
  # 33 (permalink)  
Psalm 118:24
 
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My support group used to be a 12 pack. Now, it's a 12 step program.

If, you decide to not seek a support group etc. I would advise you to distant yourselves from like minded people. I wouldn't have been able to have gotten and stayed sober all these years by keeping the same friends!
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