Relapse
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
I can relate I too tried hard to keep my social circle
all of mine were ...at best....excessive drinkers.
...When I told them I was attending AA with recovery
my goal.....most drifted away. That gave me the time to
find more friends who were also working towards sobreity.
AA meetings are where I found them.
I'm not clear on how you found success before
or exactly what your addiction might be...
but perhaps that could be a base for your new life?
You might have missed this article....
How We Get Addicted - TIME
Glad you checked back with us...
all of mine were ...at best....excessive drinkers.
...When I told them I was attending AA with recoverymy goal.....most drifted away. That gave me the time to
find more friends who were also working towards sobreity.
AA meetings are where I found them.
I'm not clear on how you found success before
or exactly what your addiction might be...
but perhaps that could be a base for your new life?
You might have missed this article....
How We Get Addicted - TIME
Glad you checked back with us...
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 10
My addiction is booze, social drinking leads to major excess. I only smoke when I drink, so when I quit the booze, I quit the cigarettes as well. I fooled myself into thinking I had a measure of control before, I now have to face the truth that this is beyond me. I forgot how incredibly damaging drinking was to my mental health... The world becomes incredibly dark and depressing in the aftermath of a binge... I wish there was a way to repair what feels like damage to my actual nerve-endings... I've been so short-tempered ever since my slip... It's doubly hard because recently my wife told me that she's never seen me so peaceful, so easy to be with... Why are we at our most vulnerable when things seem to be at their best..?
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Gosh I don't have a clue about marriage/drinking/recovery.
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.
Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.
Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.
Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.
Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by Surlyredhead 
Hi and welcome Kanyon 
I think (for me anyway) what would be the hardest thing to do after a relapse (believe me, I have had my share) would be to forgive myself for making a mistake, and that is what it was, a mistake. It is not a defect of chatacter to make a mistake, it is called being human. Then I would try to think about my feelings and actions leading up to the relapse after two years. I am sure your wife knows, possibly ask her if you were acting different. Maybe she can help in the future to mention that you are "not yourself". For me, if I am not working on my recovery, I am working on a relapse. There is no middle ground. Then jump back into the good life, and work that recovery. If you had two years sober, you know how to do it. Just never stop "doing it"! Please be kind to yourself, being able to forgive ourselves is one of the most powerful tools we have.
Cathy
I think (for me anyway) what would be the hardest thing to do after a relapse (believe me, I have had my share) would be to forgive myself for making a mistake, and that is what it was, a mistake. It is not a defect of chatacter to make a mistake, it is called being human. Then I would try to think about my feelings and actions leading up to the relapse after two years. I am sure your wife knows, possibly ask her if you were acting different. Maybe she can help in the future to mention that you are "not yourself". For me, if I am not working on my recovery, I am working on a relapse. There is no middle ground. Then jump back into the good life, and work that recovery. If you had two years sober, you know how to do it. Just never stop "doing it"! Please be kind to yourself, being able to forgive ourselves is one of the most powerful tools we have.
Cathy
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Originally Posted by CarolD
Gosh I don't have a clue about marriage/drinking/recovery.
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.
Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.
Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.
Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.
Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Birmingham, England
Posts: 665
Originally Posted by CarolD
Gosh I don't have a clue about marriage/drinking/recovery.
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.
Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.
Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
I'd been happily divorced for years when I quit drinking.
Depression? that's why I started AA recovery.
My doctor sggested I do so after a diagnoses
of situational depression.
Are you aware of PAWS? That might be what is going on
Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center
Sobriety in technicolor
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Atlanta, GA
Posts: 98
Welcome back - dont let the shame and self pity get too big... That will take you back out as well. Not preaching, but do you do any 12 step stuff? I tried to stay sober without AA and failed miserably. I had to surrender completely. Good luck!
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Dec 2009
Posts: 10
Good advice. No, never did any of the 12-step stuff. Always thought I could get thru myself, partly because I was not acknowledging the full extent of my problem. Am immersing myself in literature and this forum, and taking my leads from there. As to self-pity, yep, there is a temptation to wallow a bit, I guess...
Psalm 118:24
Join Date: Nov 2004
Location: ILLINOIS
Posts: 15,203
My support group used to be a 12 pack. Now, it's a 12 step program.
If, you decide to not seek a support group etc. I would advise you to distant yourselves from like minded people. I wouldn't have been able to have gotten and stayed sober all these years by keeping the same friends!
If, you decide to not seek a support group etc. I would advise you to distant yourselves from like minded people. I wouldn't have been able to have gotten and stayed sober all these years by keeping the same friends!
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
