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Old 11-27-2009, 02:41 PM
  # 21 (permalink)  
everything is already ok
 
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When all else fails go help another drunk or addict who is struggling. That might simply be talking on the phone, holding your hand out at a meeting...

It has often kept me clean, thats why its a 'we' thing not a 'me' thing. I cant stay clean alone but can soar with other addicts in recovery.
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Old 11-27-2009, 04:14 PM
  # 22 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by Dee74 View Post
Did you ever see a counsellor about your troubles/depression TB?

Be careful with vitamins and supplements.

See your doctor first - even something as seemingly innocuous as kava in pill form can be dangerous for people with existing liver problems...and it can of course be abused for it's intoxicant properties in other forms.

D
..excellent advice....vitamins are why i'm so sick..

..iron levels sky rocket!!!!...take care 30B...
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Old 11-27-2009, 04:30 PM
  # 23 (permalink)  
Om, Aum, Ohm...
 
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TB, I'm reading, wishing you were fifteen or twenty minutes from me. Everyone is fifteen or twenty minutes, minimum, from us. Yesterday morning, my husband and I were brainstorming -- was there anyone we forgot? Yeah, Jay. He doesn't have family around. I call and leave a message on his voice mail. Find out later he bought a plane ticket to go home to his family. But had he not, I would have sent someone half an hour away to get him and bring him to our house for dinner. We sent a ride for another woman, but she has health issues and wasn't up to it. I wish I'd have gotten a call. I would have emphasized that we have recliners and rocking chairs all over the house. We'd have made her comfortable. A third friend got two plates delivered to the bar where he works.

And though all this probably doesn't make you feel any less lonely, I'm saying it to urge you to keep reaching out. There are folks who will 'adopt' you. It may be one of the guys with a wife or partner active in Al-anon. Or it may be someone like me who's been alone on the holidays and doesn't want anyone else to be, if I can help it. There's community out there for you, so please, keep doing what you can do to build it up around you.

Peace & Love,
Sugah
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:07 PM
  # 24 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
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Called all the numbers I got...

Suppose I need more.

Sugah, adoption is lightyears away... I can't even get a ride.

Take care y'all...
TB
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Old 11-27-2009, 05:42 PM
  # 25 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thirtybubba View Post

*This* is the thing that always brings me down, I remember it now. Part of the reason I'm writing this. This is the physical urge that lingers in me until it gathers strength and eventually takes me down. Not tonight, or maybe not tomorrow... but sooner or later this is the thing that brings me down.

What is it? How do I get rid of it?
This is the ism of alcoholism. The emotional pain that lingers on long after the last drink.

For me there is nothing more critical in sobriety than sense of purpose. Without it sobriety is not worth having.

I have found that unless I practice (with action) some humility, serenity and benevolence, every day, I will eventually go stark raving sober.
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Old 11-27-2009, 06:51 PM
  # 26 (permalink)  
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From all of this (not just Boleo,... I've been thinking this for a few hours now) I'm learning that my initial problem as I imagined it is, in fact, the one I gotta fix first. I have to get a network of people around me, live support if you will, and then I am eligible for all the benefits of quitting drinking. I tried that for a couple years, it didn't work, decided (after sobering up, incidentally--when I had proof) to focus on sobriety because it felt good and from what I was reading, it sounded good in the future.

AA has been a disaster for me, often I think that the letdowns there outweigh all the rest of the benefits. At the end of the day, I am still alone... so alone.

I go to a meeting and I am just as alone.

I don't have a phone really, I mean I've had one, but most of the $25 I put on it have gone to waste trying to follow this program. I just got a call back, finally... asking me right after hello if she could call me back next week, something's going on. And me, gracious as ever.

I don't think I have what it takes to be in AA--desire to quit drinking is fine, for attending meetings, but you have to already be part of life to get a life is what I've learned hardest--and I've run out of ideas. I can't do it on my own, not even with "tools" and so on... the one thing I associate most with sobriety now is loneliness and that's hard to overcome when it's obvious.

I don't know what I'm going to do. Something has to give, but I said that in July too... and every time I reach out I'm not getting much back but promises. Thus is life, I suppose... guess I better learn to live it.

Take care y'all,
TB, not going anywhere really... nowhere to go.
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Old 11-27-2009, 08:18 PM
  # 27 (permalink)  
Owner of a strange glitch.
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Okay, life is strange.

Got very depressed a minute ago and was outside smoking when I decided to run through the list again. This time someone answered.

Almost didn't know what to say... when I realized I haven't spoken aloud in 48 hours or so... last time was to the cop who was asking me what I was doing outside the school on a computer.

Anyways, upshoot, she said to give her a call next time, she'll pick me up for the meeting and she'll call me tomorrow about working the NA steps and to write my autobiography.

O_o

Take care,
TB, shellshocked
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Old 11-27-2009, 10:57 PM
  # 28 (permalink)  
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Originally Posted by thirtybubba View Post
Okay, life is strange.

Got very depressed a minute ago and was outside smoking when I decided to run through the list again. This time someone answered.

Almost didn't know what to say... when I realized I haven't spoken aloud in 48 hours or so... last time was to the cop who was asking me what I was doing outside the school on a computer.

Anyways, upshoot, she said to give her a call next time, she'll pick me up for the meeting and she'll call me tomorrow about working the NA steps and to write my autobiography.

O_o

Take care,
TB, shellshocked
This is what i would do in your position:

When this lady comes to pick you up, i would be like she is the greatest thing since sliced bread and so very grateful for the lift and to spend her valuable time making the effort to pick me up. I would hang on her every word like my life and sanity depended on it (which coincidentally it does!). I would say that i am in desperate need of help, don't understand how AA works, the steps...i would say that i have been advised to go to meetings and get a sponsor but beyond that no idea. For the most part i would be looking for her to do most of the talking even if i wanted to unload on someone, if she shares her story i would make sure that my full attention was on her, keep asking relevant questions to her story to indicate that i am interested. I would also forget everything that i heard about AA on SR and just agree with myself before the meeting that i know nothing about nothing and soak up all the information as if it were gospel. Call her when you say you will, be there 10 mins early when you are to meet, do whatever she tells you to do (if in doubt you can ask on here or look to see if the request is based on the suggestions in the big book if you worried about it). Buy a big book if you have some money.

Thats about it, so unless she is a serial killer who has singled you out for her next target and you just about get away, you will have made a new friend and someone who will be instrumental in your recovery...happy daze and good luck:-)
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