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Old 11-05-2009, 01:40 PM
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help

Hi- I've been sober for about five weeks now, and my long term boyfriend whom I am living with just broke up with me two nights ago. I am crushed, absolutley crushed. I don't want to drink- I am too afraid of what would happen if I did, but my emotions have been really fried already already and now this. And, we live together and I have to move ut ASAP. luckily I have a friend I can stay with till I find a place. I guess I am venting, just looking for support. I am putting on a stable face but the reality is I feel like I am on the verge of a total meltdown.
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Old 11-05-2009, 01:52 PM
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Congratulations on 5 weeks sobriety!! I am looking forward to the day I too can say that...

I'm sorry about your b/f but please remember no one is more important that you. Find a friend you can walk/talk to, do whatever is you have to do to get through this day.
Sending you strength!
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Old 11-05-2009, 01:56 PM
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In time, you may find that this needed to happen for your recovery & well being.
Stay strong, many prayers for your sobriety, and best wishes!
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Old 11-05-2009, 02:02 PM
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Hi Daisy,

So sorry to hear about your breakup, they really really suck. It will get better though, trust that, and drinking will not help, it'll only make you feel worse.

I spent the last few months trying to drink my pain from a breakup away, so trust me on this one.

Big hugs and have a girly night with your friend and lots of hot chocolate and films if you can.
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Old 11-05-2009, 02:10 PM
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Lots of good advice here and all I can add to it is my support. Sending you hugs and positive energy to get through this dark time. Believe me when I say alcohol will only make the dark times darker. Hope you feel better real soon and find comfort in having a friend nearby while you go through this. Working through our feelings instead of numbing them is part of the recovery process. Hard, but its worth it in the end.
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Old 11-05-2009, 02:19 PM
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Hang in there you can get through the situation and use it to strengthen your resolve.

These changes we go through in sobriety often turn into much better things down the road.
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Old 11-05-2009, 05:50 PM
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Hi Daisy,
Thanks for sharing your post with us. Is your ex-boyfriend in the program or at least a non-drinker? If not then you may be better off without him. You are pretty new to the program so hang in there! Emotions suck when you first get sober and they may not be balanced for a year or more so don't be surprised. I know that for me it was a very wise choice to stay out of relationships for my first year because I knew I couldn't handle them. I will have 2 years sobriety in December (God willing and hopefully I will not drink before then, it is a one day at a time program) I just got into a relationship for the first time in this sobriety. He is not in the program but does not drink or have it in the house. Recovery should always come first before anything because if you don't have sobriety you won't have anything including a possible relationship in the future. Go to lots of meetings, online and face-to-face, read lots of 12-step books. And good luck to you, I know you may have heard this before but I'm going to say it anywhere: "This too shall pass." I have that on my cell phone when it turns on because I have had to refer to that saying about a million times in the last year or so. Do a fourth step, you might find out some interesting stuff about yourself. God bless, Laurie B.
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Old 11-05-2009, 05:55 PM
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Congrats on 5 weeks!

Hang in there and take it all one day at a time!
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Old 11-05-2009, 05:59 PM
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You didn't mention being in a program of recovery -
it's times like these that we really 'lean' on our recovering friends...

I know it does nothing for me to say
that when we're in our disease -
we pick some fairly terrible partners
to confirm our own negative self-concept.
no matter what it was
that caused the breakup
when we honestly look at our part in the relationship
it's nothing like the fairy tale we drank ourselves into believing.

I agree that this might well be for the best.

I hope you won't give up.
I hope you'll at least keep posting here - there's plenty here to talk to!
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