Hi Daisy,
Thanks for sharing your post with us. Is your ex-boyfriend in the program or at least a non-drinker? If not then you may be better off without him. You are pretty new to the program so hang in there! Emotions suck when you first get sober and they may not be balanced for a year or more so don't be surprised. I know that for me it was a very wise choice to stay out of relationships for my first year because I knew I couldn't handle them. I will have 2 years sobriety in December (God willing and hopefully I will not drink before then, it is a one day at a time program) I just got into a relationship for the first time in this sobriety. He is not in the program but does not drink or have it in the house. Recovery should always come first before anything because if you don't have sobriety you won't have anything including a possible relationship in the future. Go to lots of meetings, online and face-to-face, read lots of 12-step books. And good luck to you, I know you may have heard this before but I'm going to say it anywhere: "This too shall pass." I have that on my cell phone when it turns on because I have had to refer to that saying about a million times in the last year or so. Do a fourth step, you might find out some interesting stuff about yourself. God bless, Laurie B.