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Old 10-13-2009, 09:49 AM   #1 (permalink)
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new & depressed


So, over 2 weeks now... i relapsed about 3 weeks ago and then got back on the train. Now have over 2 weeks. I don't feel a compulsion to drink, but I am starting to feel really depressed over life. It's not that anything is horrifically wrong, but nothing is great either. I feel mostly dull, and trapped, and am having a really hard time finding things to be happy or excited about, and like my life is going nowhere. I feel lost. No really sure what to do, it's like a slow, corrosive ennui. Anyways, thanks for listening
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Old 10-13-2009, 09:55 AM   #2 (permalink)
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((daisy2))
Those feeling will pass. The body misses the alcohol. :-)
Stay busy. Find another passion. Apply that passion as U did when U drank.
This depression will lift. If it doesn't, seek medical counsel.
It takes lots of work 2 remain sober and achieve happiness/contentment. Hang in there. Stay strong and busy.
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Old 10-13-2009, 09:59 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by daisy2 View Post
I don't feel a compulsion to drink, but I am starting to feel really depressed over life. It's not that anything is horrifically wrong, but nothing is great either. I feel mostly dull, and trapped, and am having a really hard time finding things to be happy or excited about, and like my life is going nowhere.
Everyone has a different experience, but I found that once I stopped drinking my life got worse first before it got better.

This is why - especially for high(er) bottom alcoholics - it is very difficult to quit drinking. We don't get the immediate improvement in how we are feeling that some low(er) bottom alcoholics do.

I used alcohol to medicate my feelings of fear, stress, feeling lost, etc.

But, after 1 month, things started to change. I realized that the alcohol was just covering up my life issues. I began to see that by working on the root causes of my addiction, I would not only be happier but I would stay sober. This created for me what I call "positive life momentum". It is really cool to watch it now at work after 9 months.

Please know that what you are experiencing is normal - you just need to give it some more time sober.

But, you also should begin working on the new life skills that you will need, as while you are abstaining from alcohol now, you need to focus on recovery.

These two are different concepts. You can't recover without abstaining, but without recovery steps, eventually (in my experience), you will relapse.
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Old 10-13-2009, 10:01 AM   #4 (permalink)
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Hi Daisy2 - depression and addiction went hand in hand for me. It did when I was using and it did when I first stopped using. The best thing that worked for me was that I learned that Alcohol (or whatever your drug of choice might be) was my Solution, not my problem. It was easier to quit than to stay quit. Because my mind would just think I needed to solve my sadness with a drink or solve my happiness with a drink. It was my solution to every situation, emotion, person, place or thing. My obsession of the mind was my big problem. Just reach out and keep talking things out with people. The fogged mind will clear. And when those thoughts popped into your head regarding all those things that you did in the past, make sure you work with someone who can relate to your thinking or you obsession. It will be a big help. There are other solutions besides a glass, needle, pipe or smoke. For now all I can say is It will be okay and just take it one day, hour or minute at a time. However you need to do it. Just don't use today and don't worry about tomorrow.
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Old 10-13-2009, 10:03 AM   #5 (permalink)
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I remember feeling that same way. When I was in detox they said, "when you go home you will find that your life may be boring without the drugs or alcohol". I remember thinking no it won't be that bad. Was it ever so boring. I have 21 days sober today and let me tell you for the past couple of days I haven't even thought about a pill which is a miracle in itself. Not to mention I just realized it! HAHAHAH

So, hang in there! Music helped me a lot. Turn on some good ole' head banging rocker **** and clean the house, write in a journal, sit outside, just get motivated. That is hard to do but trust me it helped me!

You need to know that that post you made when I read it I thought "well their alcoholic mind is talking to them today and I prayed for you". So honey hang in there, I stay so bored sometimes but music is my escape. It couldn't hurt to try. Listen to Pink "Sober", that song always helped me get through the day and the video on youtube of her preformace of that song made me cry (at the VMA's). Give it a try.
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Old 10-13-2009, 10:07 AM   #6 (permalink)
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thats how i felt when i stopped

very lonely

full of anxiety

depressed beyond belief

but these things pass and life just gets better and better i promise
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Old 10-13-2009, 11:46 AM   #7 (permalink)
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Originally Posted by daisy2 View Post
I feel mostly dull, and trapped, and am having a really hard time finding things to be happy or excited about, and like my life is going nowhere.
I hear you, and I am going through the same thing. One thing that sometimes helps me is to find little things to get excited about; I made a night out of dyeing my hair, another day I found a recipe online to make my own chai and got some cheap fun out of shopping for the spices and then listening to my music (good suggestion, Ash!) while I brewed the stuff.

Don't get me wrong, I'm not trying to sound like little miss sunshine...most days I don't want to get out of bed and it is REALLY easy to just think about all the ways I have f**ked up my life. It is really important for me to create things to look forward to and let myself get excited about them. Where The Wild Things Are is coming out this Friday, I have been waiting for it since I heard they were making it into a movie..so that's my big thing this week and I think about it when I get down/bored. Sounds silly but it really helps.

Kindest wishes for you, take care
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Old 10-13-2009, 03:06 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Have you considered working a simple spiritual 12 step program of recovery?
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Old 10-13-2009, 04:17 PM   #9 (permalink)
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Hi daisy2

it's a common reaction - the fact is, if you're anything like me, you used alcohol as an accompaniment to everything. Now we have to face life without our crutch. You may even be grieving the loss.

You're certainly healing, in both mind and body, and maybe suffering PAWs...this is all normal.

Post Acute Withdrawl - Relapse Prevention Specialists - TLC The Living Center

Not drinking doesn't make life great by itself, but it gives us a great shot at getting out there and making it great

hang on there - it gets better...and you're not alone
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