Trying to stay clean and bf is alcoholic in denial

Old 10-03-2009, 07:14 PM
  # 1 (permalink)  
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Location: boise, Idaho
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Thumbs up Trying to stay clean and bf is alcoholic in denial

Hi everyone,

Im so glad I found this site... I got clean on Sept 10 partly because of my abusive alcoholic bf who told me I'm nothing but a hopeless fu**ing addict. At least Im doing something about my addiction....A little about me: Because of some herniated disks in my spine I let a surgeon cut into my back in Dec08. The surgery went horribly wrong and I've been in unbearable pain since. A few months ago I realized I was hooked on narcotics. So last month with my dr.'s help decided to get off fentanyl,oxycontin, and vicodin. It's been tough but used suboxone. I started from 12mg early last month and now tapered off to 1mg. I will soon take sub every other day the be off for good. Im attending NA meetings regularly, enrolled in intensive outpatient program. At home I am dealing with an alcoholic who is a daily heavy drinker and at times verbally abuses me and tells me I won't be able to get drug free. I resent his lack of support and the abuse. I just know I love myself enough to live a clean life no matter if another alcoholic wants me to be addicted like him so he can put me down. You know.. Im better than that! I have 2 beautiful daughters who need their mother clean and healthy. My back pain is still painful but at least Im not hopelessly addicted and in pain. It does get better
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Old 10-03-2009, 07:17 PM
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We Do Recover
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Location: Texas
Posts: 2,619
Welcome! Glad you are here. I have dealt with alcoholic bf in the past too--that were both physically and emotionally abusive. I know it isn't easy to deal with. You will find much support here. You are not alone.
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Old 10-03-2009, 07:18 PM
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bona fido dog-lover
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Welcome to SR! You'll find lots of support here.
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Old 10-03-2009, 07:24 PM
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Owner of a strange glitch.
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Welcome to SR, TinaB...

^ They mentioned that part about the support.

Take care, hope to see you around here...
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Old 10-03-2009, 08:53 PM
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Location: Australia
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Hi again TinaB

Yeah, its sad, but sometimes our partners, families and loved ones, for whatever reasons, just can't give us the support we thats why SR is such a good place to be....I believe somebody mentioned we're good at support LOL

I'll give you yet another forum link to check out too - the Family and Friends Forums are great

Friends and Family of Alcoholics - SoberRecovery : Alcoholism Drug Addiction Help and Information

Have you thought of Al-Anon?
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Old 10-03-2009, 08:55 PM
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Keep coming back, you'll find a lot of support here.
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:43 PM
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Disposable Hero
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Old 10-03-2009, 09:52 PM
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Location: La La Land, USA
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Welcome.. and great decision to get sober.

I wonder though, why do you choose to be with someone who abuses you? Not only do your kiddos deserve a sober mother, but also a safe one. I hope they're old enough that they're out of the home and not around the abuse.
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Old 10-04-2009, 08:31 AM
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Oct 2009
Location: boise, Idaho
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yeah I know ...we've been living together for over 2 yrs now. when I met him he did not drink for a year and was a really nice man. then when my back herniated last year and I had surgery it took me 6 months to walk straight and I was in constant pain. I really felt like a burden to him and relied heavily on opiates to function, then became addicted. Soon after my surgery he started drinking. This morning he came to me crying that his drinking is out of control and he needs help. Whether this relationship works or not in the future, right now I feel the obligation to help him get into treatment and get sobered up. He is a really nice guy before he started drinking. The last couple months has been nothing but verbal abuse, belittling, and insults. Any person would have left him i guess. Right now I feel sorry for him and feel I need to do the right thing and help as long as I see his genuine efforts to quit drinking.
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