Why didn't anyone help me?
*~10 YEARS BABY~*
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: Hollywood
Posts: 9,369
I heard these ones are probably the best,
The one on Killian road , Tallmadge, The ones at Akron city hospital, and St.Thomas.
See people who don't even know you do care..
Don't give up......
The one on Killian road , Tallmadge, The ones at Akron city hospital, and St.Thomas.
See people who don't even know you do care..
Don't give up......
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I used to believe that I knew what others were thinking or why things did or didn't happen. The truth of the matter is, I don't know. I never will know, I acted on assumptions and emotions. The only way to know what really happened is to ask directly. I don't know why no one was able to help you, but it is my belief, that if they could, they would, or I would hope they would. If not, they are in the wrong line of work.
To reiterate further, do we know if people didn't respond because they didn't care, or is it they didn't respond because they probably have stacks and stacks of paper work piled up due to cut backs and under staffing. That is the reality in many programs. With budget cuts, the programs are cut and with staff cuts, there isn't enough time or staff to catch up on all the paper work. I know being incarcerated you come across many closed doors.
Now that you are out, hopefully, there will be doors willing to open. It is up to you to seek them out. I see that DWI has taken the time to find some meetings in your area. I hope you take advantage of them. Once again, good luck.
To reiterate further, do we know if people didn't respond because they didn't care, or is it they didn't respond because they probably have stacks and stacks of paper work piled up due to cut backs and under staffing. That is the reality in many programs. With budget cuts, the programs are cut and with staff cuts, there isn't enough time or staff to catch up on all the paper work. I know being incarcerated you come across many closed doors.
Now that you are out, hopefully, there will be doors willing to open. It is up to you to seek them out. I see that DWI has taken the time to find some meetings in your area. I hope you take advantage of them. Once again, good luck.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
hi
what ever you do....don't give up on yourself (hug) At many times in my life that was the most important thing
you can stay clean/sober..It takes time to sort out why people weren't there and i certainly wont make excuses for it...
bottom line is stay clean/sober....remember that drinking or using isn't an answer and then...if no one else is there..look inside yourself and dig in to every resource you can find inside yourself.. and do the work you have to do
I can tell you that i have often felt abandon by the system, by the programs by others, by eveything, , by the people in my life...sometimes i'm right, sometimes later i find out i'm wrong..but no matter what i have to not drink, not use and keep looking for solutions to MY problems...the answers are there (hug)
hang on and keep believing you can find a way to a better life cause you can
(hug)
what ever you do....don't give up on yourself (hug) At many times in my life that was the most important thing
you can stay clean/sober..It takes time to sort out why people weren't there and i certainly wont make excuses for it...
bottom line is stay clean/sober....remember that drinking or using isn't an answer and then...if no one else is there..look inside yourself and dig in to every resource you can find inside yourself.. and do the work you have to do
I can tell you that i have often felt abandon by the system, by the programs by others, by eveything, , by the people in my life...sometimes i'm right, sometimes later i find out i'm wrong..but no matter what i have to not drink, not use and keep looking for solutions to MY problems...the answers are there (hug)
hang on and keep believing you can find a way to a better life cause you can
(hug)
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by coffeenut 
Well, you came here and asked for help. People gave you their opinions and you totally unleashed on a group of people trying to help.
If you do that in your daily life, that could be why no one helped.
I do welcome you to SR. I hope you find what you are looking for.
If you do that in your daily life, that could be why no one helped.
I do welcome you to SR. I hope you find what you are looking for.
Trust me, I didn't "totally unleash" on a group of people. At the time of the unleashing there had only been 3 people who responded. It would seem to me that it would be common sense that the anger, or appreciation in a post is directed at the posts directly above it, not the one that are posted after it.
the 30 or 40 professionals don't know me personally and wouldn't know how I am in my daily life to make that judgement. And, I have never known an addiction specialist, social worker, inmate counselor, sponsor, program director that said "You know, the US is in trouble, we need to cut back on our efforts to help people recover...."
Coversation:
"Why did he die?"
"Overdose."
"Man that's awful. Couldn't get some help?"
"Well, you know, with the economy the way it is..."
"Yeah, Blame the GOP. Lotsa addicts gonna go without help cause of fillibustering republicans."
"Yeah, I hear you man. So, what are you going to do with all of that cash you got from your clunker?"
"I think I'm going to buy the new Beatles Guitar Hero game."
"Yeah, with the economy the way it is you gottas have some distraction."
Thank you to the people who stepped up and actually attempted to help, above.
The "**** you" was directed at the people who told me to "get over it" and that it was somehow my fault that I didn't get help. And to the person above who didn't bother to read any of the posts and responded "I didn't see where they told you to get over..." **** you too for being a semantically manipulative jerk.
Thank you to the people who stepped up and actually attempted to help, above. You see that? Duality.
"I recently took up astronomy. So, I installed a skylight...... The people that live above me are pissed." ~Steven Wright.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Done_With_It
I heard these ones are probably the best,
The one on Killian road , Tallmadge, The ones at Akron city hospital, and St.Thomas.
See people who don't even know you do care..
Don't give up......
The one on Killian road , Tallmadge, The ones at Akron city hospital, and St.Thomas.
See people who don't even know you do care..
Don't give up......
Yeah, the King School is good too, as well as the IBH, and the Cuyahoga Falls smoking meeting.... OH, wait.... I did know where there were meetings but I couldn't find one on the day I needed. The one at St Thomas is at 11:00 a.m. I couldn't find an evening meeting. So, for the person who said "I find it hard to believe..." **** you too. I'm not new. I've been to meetings before. I mean seriously folks I'm in Akron, Ohio. That's what makes this situation all that more messed up. Even in the founding city I couldn't get help. what a joke.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2009
Location: Akron, Ohio
Posts: 8
Originally Posted by Reese321
You can blame others for your problems all day long. You want to base your mental health on you, or your mother, sending out a few letters? That's fairly laughable man. You need to take responsibility for your own recovery. No one is going to come and wipe your ass and make everything better. It starts with you, and only then does peripheral assistance really help. You have to want to quit, or better yourself, and find it within yourself to do this.
I hope only the best for you, but it seems you're blaming the world for your lack of helping yourself. Start thinking about why you use. That's a good place to begin.
Good luck.
I hope only the best for you, but it seems you're blaming the world for your lack of helping yourself. Start thinking about why you use. That's a good place to begin.
Good luck.
let's see I'm not sure but I sent 1 or 2 letters to 30 or 40 people. that's around 50 letters, if that equals a few can I borrow a few dollars off of you?. I was incarcerated. I had no choice but to ask for help on the outside. UMMMMMMMMMM I"VE BEEN SOBER OVER A YEAR SO I DON'T USE and I know why I used, already. You would be the perfect example of why I don't want to participate any longer...
Member
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: CA desert
Posts: 1,599
Hey oddbirdman,
After all you've experienced, it's little wonder that your emotions are in an uproar and you feel disregarded, and abandoned.
This might be a good to time to do some groundwork and find out what resources are now available to you in your new situation. You'll have to look hard, but it may prove to be worth the investment of time and effort on your part. The recent changes in your life may have you wondering what to do next, who to call, where to go, what to do. The first step is not to entertain the thought that you can't do this, for you can, if you try. Sometimes when we're swimming in shark infested waters, we have to swim for our lives, we have to keep reaching out to see if maybe a ship is nearby to toss us a rope to hold on to and pull ourselves to safety. They can toss the rope, we have to grab it. Several ships may pass till one comes along and tosses us a lifeline. Keep looking. Don't quit. You have to really want it, because if you don't, it's too easy to give up and let this chance of building a new life pass you by.
You seem to have a lot of anger that has built up and it is coming out in your words. That's ok, but use those words to find immediate help where you are, tell people you are serious about getting your life on track and if they turn a deaf ear, speak louder, but in a way that will invite them to offer you the assistance you seek. There is no one here on this site who is out to hurt you, so you may want to consider that when reading the responses you receive. You are an educated man, and I am not, but I do know we get more attention when people like us, what's the old saying about honey and vinegar? I forget just now, but it's something like you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or something like that. You know what I mean.
I'm just another drunk trying to change my life, like many here, so I'm not qualified to offer you much, just a few thoughts you may consider. Hopefully you will not quit, but instead strengthen your resolve to get your life going in the direction you want and keep looking for help till you find it. Take care.
After all you've experienced, it's little wonder that your emotions are in an uproar and you feel disregarded, and abandoned.
This might be a good to time to do some groundwork and find out what resources are now available to you in your new situation. You'll have to look hard, but it may prove to be worth the investment of time and effort on your part. The recent changes in your life may have you wondering what to do next, who to call, where to go, what to do. The first step is not to entertain the thought that you can't do this, for you can, if you try. Sometimes when we're swimming in shark infested waters, we have to swim for our lives, we have to keep reaching out to see if maybe a ship is nearby to toss us a rope to hold on to and pull ourselves to safety. They can toss the rope, we have to grab it. Several ships may pass till one comes along and tosses us a lifeline. Keep looking. Don't quit. You have to really want it, because if you don't, it's too easy to give up and let this chance of building a new life pass you by.
You seem to have a lot of anger that has built up and it is coming out in your words. That's ok, but use those words to find immediate help where you are, tell people you are serious about getting your life on track and if they turn a deaf ear, speak louder, but in a way that will invite them to offer you the assistance you seek. There is no one here on this site who is out to hurt you, so you may want to consider that when reading the responses you receive. You are an educated man, and I am not, but I do know we get more attention when people like us, what's the old saying about honey and vinegar? I forget just now, but it's something like you catch more flies with honey than with vinegar, or something like that. You know what I mean.
I'm just another drunk trying to change my life, like many here, so I'm not qualified to offer you much, just a few thoughts you may consider. Hopefully you will not quit, but instead strengthen your resolve to get your life going in the direction you want and keep looking for help till you find it. Take care.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Rural OK
Posts: 329
" Why didn't anyone help me? " A better question might be -Why don't you help yourself?-
One thing I have learned in the last 58 years is when push comes to shove it all boils down to ME and what I am willing to do to get where I want to be. I worked really hard to stay drunk for many years, now I am working hard to stay sober and be happy and balanced. Guess what- many folks gave me advice but I am the only one that can really affect A lasting change. NA, AA are set up to give you the tools for you to use to help yourself! I hope you are willing to use them.
One thing I have learned in the last 58 years is when push comes to shove it all boils down to ME and what I am willing to do to get where I want to be. I worked really hard to stay drunk for many years, now I am working hard to stay sober and be happy and balanced. Guess what- many folks gave me advice but I am the only one that can really affect A lasting change. NA, AA are set up to give you the tools for you to use to help yourself! I hope you are willing to use them.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Kansas
Posts: 10,182
Originally Posted by oddbirdman
Yeah, the King School is good too, as well as the IBH, and the Cuyahoga Falls smoking meeting.... OH, wait.... I did know where there were meetings but I couldn't find one on the day I needed. The one at St Thomas is at 11:00 a.m. I couldn't find an evening meeting. So, for the person who said "I find it hard to believe..." **** you too. I'm not new. I've been to meetings before. I mean seriously folks I'm in Akron, Ohio. That's what makes this situation all that more messed up. Even in the founding city I couldn't get help. what a joke.
That leaves me 4 days a week I don't have a meeting. I don't walk around with a chip on my shoulder because on those 4 days a 12 step group doesn't cater to me.
No one in this world owes me a thing, and it's up to me to make my life what I want it to be.
Member
Join Date: Oct 2008
Posts: 6,947
You are not in jail anymore. Thank God.
If you want happiness in this life, it is on you to start looking for it. There is always someone who has a worse tale to tell. Make this YOUR worst tale. How do you find meaning and a message of hope in all of this? It is up to you my friend. There is a way, start looking.
The door is always open here.
Mark
If you want happiness in this life, it is on you to start looking for it. There is always someone who has a worse tale to tell. Make this YOUR worst tale. How do you find meaning and a message of hope in all of this? It is up to you my friend. There is a way, start looking.
The door is always open here.
Mark
I got nothin'
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
Dude, seriously, please stop telling members to **** off.
Do you use this same approach in the real world when asking for help? Anyone tells me to **** off I tell them to go away and have a nice day. If you lash out at everyone who tries to help you not one of them will make the effort anymore.
You've insulted good people here. You have a right to feel your pain, but in my opinion it doesn't matter how much a person is hurting....the pain you are experiencing does not validate your choice to be nasty to other people. These folks have their own problems to deal with...yet they chose to reach out to you.
You don't have to show any gratitude or even say thanks. It's not required. But it is required that you be respectful to other members.
Done.
Do you use this same approach in the real world when asking for help? Anyone tells me to **** off I tell them to go away and have a nice day. If you lash out at everyone who tries to help you not one of them will make the effort anymore.
You've insulted good people here. You have a right to feel your pain, but in my opinion it doesn't matter how much a person is hurting....the pain you are experiencing does not validate your choice to be nasty to other people. These folks have their own problems to deal with...yet they chose to reach out to you.
You don't have to show any gratitude or even say thanks. It's not required. But it is required that you be respectful to other members.
Done.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Location: The Sunny South
Posts: 1,666
A few questions I would ask myself:
I ended up in jail, (which was awful) because_____________________
I refuse to seize the many ideas and opportunities here because__________________
Only you can answer those questions..wishing you well on your journey.
I ended up in jail, (which was awful) because_____________________
I refuse to seize the many ideas and opportunities here because__________________
Only you can answer those questions..wishing you well on your journey.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
What can we share with you that would stop your pain and anger?
Probably nothing.....
although many of us undersand because we had those too.
Personally.....prayer helps me immensley in all situations.
Welcome to our recovery community...
Probably nothing.....
although many of us undersand because we had those too.
Personally.....prayer helps me immensley in all situations.
Welcome to our recovery community...
Member
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Santa Fe, NM
Posts: 107
Odd- I am SO SO sorry for your experience, and honestly- I fell that NA World Service and its denizens dropped the ball, big time. What happened is UNACCEPTABLE.
Now, yes, the present is the present. We can only move forward. Some people are just... jerks. There are sexual assaults, homicides, genocide, severe child abuse- all because some people are just heartless. In terms of living in the solution, not the problem, I would say- in some areas the NA is very very weak and disorganised. My town happens to be one of them and it could be that yours is too? Even though booze was not your primary drug of choice, I'm assuming you have a desire to stop drinking as well-are you willing to identify as an alcoholic at AA meetings in honor of the traditions? I am a recovering opiate addict (and alcoholic) and I never "got" all the love and "good stuff" that was supposed to be happening at NA-I did "get" a lot of unprovoked judgement, however, and I will stand firm on this too and deny any part in this. Its not worth going into the details, but I did NOTHING to make these people stalk me and harass me by phone. Once I got into AA, though, it was like my HP gave me a new pair of glasses for the program. Give AA a shot- and don't let the b---ds get you down!
Now, yes, the present is the present. We can only move forward. Some people are just... jerks. There are sexual assaults, homicides, genocide, severe child abuse- all because some people are just heartless. In terms of living in the solution, not the problem, I would say- in some areas the NA is very very weak and disorganised. My town happens to be one of them and it could be that yours is too? Even though booze was not your primary drug of choice, I'm assuming you have a desire to stop drinking as well-are you willing to identify as an alcoholic at AA meetings in honor of the traditions? I am a recovering opiate addict (and alcoholic) and I never "got" all the love and "good stuff" that was supposed to be happening at NA-I did "get" a lot of unprovoked judgement, however, and I will stand firm on this too and deny any part in this. Its not worth going into the details, but I did NOTHING to make these people stalk me and harass me by phone. Once I got into AA, though, it was like my HP gave me a new pair of glasses for the program. Give AA a shot- and don't let the b---ds get you down!
Community Greeter
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Upstate New York
Posts: 51,572
I am the "Semantically Manipulative" jerk who said I didn't see where you were told to get over a sexual assault, etc. The first line of my post told you how disgusting I thought it was that no one reached out to you when you were incarcerated. Being told to **** off on here is a first for me.
Member
Join Date: Jun 2009
Location: Tucson, AZ
Posts: 957
I been following this post, did not want 2 post, because of your anger.
It is still there, get over it...NO ONE owes U a thing or me either. It is truely up 2 U and U should run with it. Use your anger 2 make a difference, 2 make a change.
Get 2 work. Turn that anger into a postive thing.
Stay strong, fight 4 your life, take a stand. No more **** you's.
It is still there, get over it...NO ONE owes U a thing or me either. It is truely up 2 U and U should run with it. Use your anger 2 make a difference, 2 make a change.
Get 2 work. Turn that anger into a postive thing.
Stay strong, fight 4 your life, take a stand. No more **** you's.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,784
I too have been following this thread, and tho I understand your feelings of anger, I think, perhaps, that your "inner child" needs a spanking and some "time out". Resenting those who didn't respond to you is like drinking poison and waiting for them to die. I wish you well, but can't deal with your anger...
Member
Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 89
I hate to bump this thread to the top with this reply, but I'll do it for your sake. Great, you've been sober for a year. That's fantastic man. Getting sober from any addiction is a huge thing.
What do you want at this point? This is turning into some strange political issue for you. You mention the GOP and filibustering as a reason why you didn't get help? Can you cite some sort of congressional record to back this up?
If you just want to find some podium with which to address some grievence, then write your congressmen or run for office yourself.
Otherwise, I really don't know why you are posting here at all. Take it to the off-topic forum.
What do you want at this point? This is turning into some strange political issue for you. You mention the GOP and filibustering as a reason why you didn't get help? Can you cite some sort of congressional record to back this up?
If you just want to find some podium with which to address some grievence, then write your congressmen or run for office yourself.
Otherwise, I really don't know why you are posting here at all. Take it to the off-topic forum.
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Originally Posted by Reese321
I hate to bump this thread to the top with this reply, but I'll do it for your sake. Great, you've been sober for a year. That's fantastic man. Getting sober from any addiction is a huge thing.
What do you want at this point? This is turning into some strange political issue for you. You mention the GOP and filibustering as a reason why you didn't get help? Can you cite some sort of congressional record to back this up?
If you just want to find some podium with which to address some grievence, then write your congressmen or run for office yourself.
Otherwise, I really don't know why you are posting here at all. Take it to the off-topic forum.
What do you want at this point? This is turning into some strange political issue for you. You mention the GOP and filibustering as a reason why you didn't get help? Can you cite some sort of congressional record to back this up?
If you just want to find some podium with which to address some grievence, then write your congressmen or run for office yourself.
Otherwise, I really don't know why you are posting here at all. Take it to the off-topic forum.
Not trying to defend this person in any way. But he didnt say that. Another poster said that and he was sarcasticly responding to that post.
This is the post he was responding to.
There are major issues with the system. I work in a maximum security prison. We are in a financial crisis. We haven't had an alcohol and drug counselor in the prison for years, lack of funding. It is of my opinion that a high percentage of crimes were committed while under he influence of drugs or alcohol, or they are incarcerated due to dealing. The first programs cut where the programs designed for reentry. These programs were to help the offender enter into society with skills that they did not have when they entered. Such as Anger Management, Job Hunter, Moral Reconation Therapy ...cut.
Community Correctional Officer positions were cut drastically. Yes, there is no doubt that we have a systemic problem. It just isn't right and I'm very sorry for that. The best thing you can do about it is try to work around it. Look for another solution. I wish you well, but as others have said, lashing out at members of a recovery board is not going to help your situation. I hope I added some insight. The system doesn't look promising, but that doesn't mean your future can't be. Good luck...
Community Correctional Officer positions were cut drastically. Yes, there is no doubt that we have a systemic problem. It just isn't right and I'm very sorry for that. The best thing you can do about it is try to work around it. Look for another solution. I wish you well, but as others have said, lashing out at members of a recovery board is not going to help your situation. I hope I added some insight. The system doesn't look promising, but that doesn't mean your future can't be. Good luck...
Although meetings are free. Some treatment centers have pay scales and Salvation Army treatment is free but you have to meet certain guidelines. Like most are for males only and you have to work for them in exchange for the treatment.
Boy do you sound exactly like me when I first joined here. Angry at the world. Only I wasnt even clean yet. I am guessing this is what a dry addict or drunk is.
After 13 months clean and your still holding alot of resentments and anger. I would hope that in that 13 months that you have been working on changing your thinking and behaviors.
Cause if I didnt know any better. I would think that you have yet to work on that part. Anyone can put the crap down. But it sorta defeats the purpose if your still going to go through the same thought process.
I understand completely how you feel. You have every right to be upset.
But I would suggest you use a little more respect when addressing people here. No one here turned their back on you. Some are just telling you like they see it. Some have gone as far as to research and locate resources for you to use.
Your not locked up now. So its all up to you. You are capable of doing any and everything you possibly can to help yourself now.
I hope you find what your looking for. And seriously hope you find some peace from that anger.
good luck.
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