jade09

It was so much easier and better than I had thought.....It was a good group, women's meeting, so I think that made it easier for me also. Tomorrow 's meeting is not women only so I am having some anxiety, but I'm gonna do it thanks

jade09

Feeling miserable...anxiety, palpitations, and of course unbelievable saddness. I called out of work but I am going to a meeting, and I will make it to school tonight.
Not looking for pity...just need someone to talk to.
My husband has closed the door on me for good this time, not sure if I will ever get him back. I do not blame him for feeling this way, he deserves a better life, as I do....just have not been able to get there yet.
All my past failures have finally caught up to me, and I hope this is my bottom, I can't handle anything else.
I know time will help these unbearable feelings, I've been thru this too many times. I'm just so tired of the fight.

Believe808

Jade, when I walked through those doors of my AA meeting, I finally felt like I was home and that I finally belonged.

Please ask for some numbers and get a meeting book. There are so many meetings near you.

And worry about your recovery right now, not your husband. If its meant to be it will be, worry about today honey.

jade09

Went to my second meeting this afternoon. So glad I did.
Gonna try and go everyday if I can. I need something to keep me going. Thanks for your support

Anna

Hi Jade,

I'm glad you're hanging in there.

Believe808

Good for you Jade. I am so proud of you taking the necessary steps to keep sober.

KenL

Way to go on changing things, Jade. I'm sorry to hear about the thing with your husband, though. It would be good if he could be supportive but don't let him keep you from taking care of yourself. We'll all be here to help you.

jade09

Everyone keeps saying not to focus on him right now, I understand this thought, but it's pretty impossible. Doing the best I can, and hoping for the best. Thank you!!

Believe808

Jade, keep saying the Serenity Prayer. Also put his name on a piece of paper and put it in a little box (I call mine my God Box) and just let go of it and leave it there.

Reese321

Remember that both men and woman are human. They both experience alcoholism to the same extent, though perhaps not in the same context. (Perhaps this is key, I don't know.) Go to as many meetings as you can, regardless of gender. Are you worried about getting hit on?

Good luck and keep posting!

cptspalding

Hi Jade

Just want to add my voice of support. Hang in there and all the best.

jade09

thanks reese--not worried about getting hit on. Just new to this and very unsure and scared I guess. Felt comfortable at the womans group, but today I could not find one, so I'm trying to find the courage to go anyway.

Paul993

Hey Jade !
Just want you to know that folks on here are still thinking about you !
Did you make it to a meeting last night ?

"Just keep doing the next right thing"
and use the support that is around you !


Paul

jade09

thanks paul
yes..i made it to a meeting yesterday afternoon....and then I actually went to another last night. It is helping me get by. I'm beyond any saddness and depression I've yet to know, so going to meetings and reading/posting are the only things keeping me going right now. Thanks for the support, hope you are well??

Paul993

Two meetings yesterday ! great !
I am doing well, thanks. I had a few tough days over last weekend, but have been "up" the last few days and am being productive at work and personal stuff. Trying to stay "on a roll" of positive thoughts. I work in an office all by myself, so sometiems too much time alone with my thoughts which can be scary. lol
I've settled into a Step Meeting on Monday nights, a "spiritual" meeting on Thurs nights. Both of those are just about 10 people each. And I have been trying to search out a regular/speaker meeting to make a "home" that feels right - have tried out several - they are all different. One I went to last Sunday felt good, I think I'll visit them again this Sunday.

I'm new to this, but what do they say:
- Don't pick up the first drink
- Go to meetings
- Ask for help

jade09

thanks again paul
I plan on doing the same....trying a few different meetings and finding the ones that feel right?? i guess??
I never thought I would ever go to AA...I guess I was in denial still, thinking I was capable/strong enough of a person to do it on my own. I wish I would have tried it a long time ago---but I guess I wasn't ready? I feel I finally am now
I hope you find the right meetings for you, and stay strong. I'm too new myself to give advice, but I can listen and support.
Good luck and thanks for writing

Believe808

Jade that is awesome. You are doing great girlfriend.