learning to "turn it over" to my HP, whoever that is
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
Today has been a difficult day, to say the least. I'm trying to turn it over to the God of my understanding, which, at this point, is the God I grew up with. I've been on my knees, literally and figuratively, all day seeking some peace. I still feel so wound up it's been a struggle all day not to get drunk just "not to feel" anything. But I'm working on it and trying to accept that God may have an answer for me that I don't fully understand.
Just learning to accept things as they are is hard for me. I'm praying for patience, as well as understanding...
Just learning to accept things as they are is hard for me. I'm praying for patience, as well as understanding...
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Least,
I am sorry that today has been so hard for you. And, dealing with depression can be exhausting at times.
After reading "A New Earth" by Eckhard Tolle, I began to think in terms of the Universe. I am very spiritual, not especially religious and that's what works me. If you have time, the book is an amazing 'lesson' on how to get out of your own way and how to let go.
I am sorry that today has been so hard for you. And, dealing with depression can be exhausting at times.
After reading "A New Earth" by Eckhard Tolle, I began to think in terms of the Universe. I am very spiritual, not especially religious and that's what works me. If you have time, the book is an amazing 'lesson' on how to get out of your own way and how to let go.
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
Least....
I too was raised in a religious home.
Church ...Sunday School...Baptist Training Union...Choir practice...
Prayer meeting.....all a part of my weekly childhood.
I slid away from all that ...turning to worldly things..
Eventually I felt lost ...my drinking had drown my soul.
It was a horrific time in my life....
When I started AA...I had no idea that God.HP was there.
All I wanted was sobriety...to end the pain.
Somewhere about 6 months...I realized I wanted more...
I desperatly desired a connection with God.
Sooo...
I returned to my Sunday School God of love and forgiveness.
The "Yes! Jesus Loves Me' the "Sunshine Mountain" God.
He again opened His arms....and I came to know Him again.
No....I don't often worship Him in churches these days.
I know I can better serve with my AA commitment.
I don't know if my experience can benefit you
I certainly hope it will.
As far as His plan for me....I don't know...but I am sure
it will be exciteing and positive.
I too was raised in a religious home.
Church ...Sunday School...Baptist Training Union...Choir practice...
Prayer meeting.....all a part of my weekly childhood.
I slid away from all that ...turning to worldly things..
Eventually I felt lost ...my drinking had drown my soul.
It was a horrific time in my life....
When I started AA...I had no idea that God.HP was there.
All I wanted was sobriety...to end the pain.
Somewhere about 6 months...I realized I wanted more...
I desperatly desired a connection with God.
Sooo...
I returned to my Sunday School God of love and forgiveness.
The "Yes! Jesus Loves Me' the "Sunshine Mountain" God.
He again opened His arms....and I came to know Him again.
No....I don't often worship Him in churches these days.
I know I can better serve with my AA commitment.
I don't know if my experience can benefit you
I certainly hope it will.
As far as His plan for me....I don't know...but I am sure
it will be exciteing and positive.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2005
Location: my room in ct.
Posts: 58,110
least hey least...
there's a catchy old tune that i use at times...
a old Leon Heywood one... "Dont Push it, Dont Force It"
"I'm ready
I'm ready now
Don't push it
don't force it
Let it happen naturally
It will surely happen
If it was menat to be.
Don't push it
don't force it
Let it happen naturally
It will surely happen"
youtube it...
ya might be going around singing this one,
when life gets a little life'y...
all good wishes least
rz
How do you "turn it over"? I need instruction in 'turning it over'. How do I do it??
there's a catchy old tune that i use at times...
a old Leon Heywood one... "Dont Push it, Dont Force It"
"I'm ready
I'm ready now
Don't push it
don't force it
Let it happen naturally
It will surely happen
If it was menat to be.
Don't push it
don't force it
Let it happen naturally
It will surely happen"
youtube it...
ya might be going around singing this one,
when life gets a little life'y...
all good wishes least
rz
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Least this is an awesome topic and the replies have been awesome as well, I guess I will throw my little bit of experience in as well.
In recovery the most important thing I keep in my mind in all areas because one of my biggest character defects is being a perfectioinist is this little line from the BB "Progress, not perfection".
If you want that faith then practice doing what your dogs do!
When you first got them all they wanted was for you to love them and because they sought love from you, you gave it to them, this was the beginning of them learning to have faith in you.
If they had run away from you could you have shown them you loved them?
Have you allowed your HP to love you or are you running away? How can your faith grow if you do not even give your HP a chance to show it?
Turning things over as with any other thing in life takes practice, for me I have found it is a process which I still work at, but it gets easier as my faith grows, but my faith can not grow if I do not take actions.
Turning it over I have found does not mean doing nothing I have found!
I have found the serenity prayer to be a great way to determine if I should simply pray for God's will to be done accepting that there is nothing I can do to change something or if I should be doing something that is God's will.
I have found that the more I follow God's will, whether it is to simply let him to take care of it because it is beyond my control or if it is His will that I do a certain thing because that is the right thing to do the more my faith in Him grows.
I have found that when I take actions that are God's will for me that it leads to stronger faith and stronger faith leads me to even more action which leads to more faith.
For many years while I was drinking I tried to do it all on my own will, my own way and it always led to anger and frustration, because when things did not go the way I wanted or expected them to go the only one I could really blame was myself even though I would point the finger at every one but myself because they were not doing it MY WAY!
Today I have found that once I figure out that there is nothing I can do to change something or someone I simply let God deal with it, I pray that His will will be done, and it is, my frustration and anger is non-existant because I know that I never had any control over it in the first place and what ever happens is going to happen whether I am angry or frustrated about it or not.
The only times I get angry or frustrated is when I chose to ignore His will and either try it my own way or do nothing and things do not go the way they should.
It takes practice turning it over, it takes time to learn that just because something does not come out the way I think it should, that does not mean it is wrong, it is simply His will and not mine.
Be patient, it all takes time and time takes time.
Be patient, do you have a sponsor?
Are you taking the steps with your sponsor?
If not then I would suggest to follow Stones suggestion and start on step one because that one comes first, then step 2, then 3, etc. They are in order for a reason and come much easier with the Experience, Strength, & Hope of a sponsor who has worked the steps with a sponsor.
Least if you want to learn how to turn it over and see it work then PRAY and MEDITATE for guidance in selecting a sponsor who your HP knows is right for you, not one that you think would be a good friend, or that you can get your way with, but someone who has what you want & is willing to call BS on you!
In recovery the most important thing I keep in my mind in all areas because one of my biggest character defects is being a perfectioinist is this little line from the BB "Progress, not perfection".
This may sound silly, but I want to have faith in God like my dogs have faith in me. They just 'know' I'll take care of them. I want to "just know" God will take care of me when I can't care for myself.
When you first got them all they wanted was for you to love them and because they sought love from you, you gave it to them, this was the beginning of them learning to have faith in you.
If they had run away from you could you have shown them you loved them?
Have you allowed your HP to love you or are you running away? How can your faith grow if you do not even give your HP a chance to show it?
Turning things over as with any other thing in life takes practice, for me I have found it is a process which I still work at, but it gets easier as my faith grows, but my faith can not grow if I do not take actions.
Turning it over I have found does not mean doing nothing I have found!
I have found the serenity prayer to be a great way to determine if I should simply pray for God's will to be done accepting that there is nothing I can do to change something or if I should be doing something that is God's will.
I have found that the more I follow God's will, whether it is to simply let him to take care of it because it is beyond my control or if it is His will that I do a certain thing because that is the right thing to do the more my faith in Him grows.
I have found that when I take actions that are God's will for me that it leads to stronger faith and stronger faith leads me to even more action which leads to more faith.
For many years while I was drinking I tried to do it all on my own will, my own way and it always led to anger and frustration, because when things did not go the way I wanted or expected them to go the only one I could really blame was myself even though I would point the finger at every one but myself because they were not doing it MY WAY!
Today I have found that once I figure out that there is nothing I can do to change something or someone I simply let God deal with it, I pray that His will will be done, and it is, my frustration and anger is non-existant because I know that I never had any control over it in the first place and what ever happens is going to happen whether I am angry or frustrated about it or not.
The only times I get angry or frustrated is when I chose to ignore His will and either try it my own way or do nothing and things do not go the way they should.
It takes practice turning it over, it takes time to learn that just because something does not come out the way I think it should, that does not mean it is wrong, it is simply His will and not mine.
Be patient, it all takes time and time takes time.
Be patient, do you have a sponsor?
Are you taking the steps with your sponsor?
If not then I would suggest to follow Stones suggestion and start on step one because that one comes first, then step 2, then 3, etc. They are in order for a reason and come much easier with the Experience, Strength, & Hope of a sponsor who has worked the steps with a sponsor.
Least if you want to learn how to turn it over and see it work then PRAY and MEDITATE for guidance in selecting a sponsor who your HP knows is right for you, not one that you think would be a good friend, or that you can get your way with, but someone who has what you want & is willing to call BS on you!
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Location: Dallas, Tx
Posts: 2,405
I too was raised in a church going family, Catholic school through 10th grade, all the ceremony etc. As an adult I tried different churches and ultimately pretty much lost my faith or left it behind. Right around the time I got Sober I read the book "Purpose Driven Life" and it had a profound impact on me. One of the most important things I got out of the book was that "I am worthy", that "I am who I am for a reason". I don't think I'd be sober, or even alive, today without my faith in my God. I don't really care for the term "turning it over" I believe that God gives us the strength and skills we need to cope with whatever comes our way, but we have to do the work.
bona fido dog-lover
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,782
I think, for me, it comes down to "accepting the things I cannot change" and being able to turn 'that' over to God, since I can't do anything about it. And it's hard for me to do as I am a compulsive worrier.
I've asked my dad for advice, since he's a retired episcopalian priest and has a lot of knowledge on that subject.
I really like what Taz said about my dogs, and how if they ran away from me I couldn't love them. That really hit home and was easy to understand. So I'm trying not to 'run away from' God, but to let Him into my life so I can have His love and care.
Thank you to all who responded. I am grateful for your insight and understanding.:ghug2
I've asked my dad for advice, since he's a retired episcopalian priest and has a lot of knowledge on that subject.
I really like what Taz said about my dogs, and how if they ran away from me I couldn't love them. That really hit home and was easy to understand. So I'm trying not to 'run away from' God, but to let Him into my life so I can have His love and care.
Thank you to all who responded. I am grateful for your insight and understanding.:ghug2
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Least I know that it was not God who turned his back on me, he was there waiting patiently for me to turn around all those years I had my back turned on his will, love, forgiveness and grace.
All I had to do was acknowledge him and start not just listening to him but taking action on what he offered as opportunities to do his will. If I do His will to the best of my ability he will grant me the power I need to do it, and that includes him lifting my obsession to drink.
All I had to do was acknowledge him and start not just listening to him but taking action on what he offered as opportunities to do his will. If I do His will to the best of my ability he will grant me the power I need to do it, and that includes him lifting my obsession to drink.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 1,055
This thread has been very helpful to me, specially right now. I'm also having problem with the "turning it over" aspect. Funny thing is a lot of people that are around me right now are involved in the church, religious and very devoted. Sometimes I feel overwhelmed by it, at others I feel comforted by it.
But I'm with Least, letting go of what I cannot control is VERY hard for me to do. And Tazz, your words were immensely helpful!!!!!!!
XOXO
But I'm with Least, letting go of what I cannot control is VERY hard for me to do. And Tazz, your words were immensely helpful!!!!!!!
XOXO
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