Freeport

Mary nailed it for me. One day at a time, but I also have no intentions of stopping at Day 100, 1000, or 10000. For the first time, I'm looking at sobriety as indefinitely, and that has truly helped my perspective and ability to overcome challenges this time around.

Holiday weekend will be challenging but we all can do it!

shorty51

so ive ****** up... decided to have a drink instead of looking uncool and not drinking....

urr such a **** decision... should have just walked away.

Good thing is... i didnt do anything stupid this time...

Start over again. Oh well...

Where are you Adayatatime?

shorty51

so... here i am again...
i know i hate to drink...
i know its bad for me..
i know its bad for my wallet..
I know im going to wake up tomorrow morning feeling like **** and regretting it...
I know i know all this. But i still do it... WHY?

God only knows...
Right now.. im not drunk.. but am far from sober... I can do 1 week stints at not drinking.. weekdays.. no problem.. weekends are an issue. I dont get it.

tyler

You've identified that weekends are a problem for you, I'm pretty sure you are not alone on that one!! What can you do differently in your weekend routine that will make it less likely for you to drink?

For me night time is the hard time. I used to sit around and watch TV and drink myself into a stupor most nights. It was a very passive activity and easy to drink to. Lately, some of the things I've been doing at night are posting here on SR (I feel guilty posting while I'm drinking, not that I haven't done it before, but I don't like to, so I'm less likely to drink while I'm here), I also play my Xbox (not the most constructive use of my time, but the controler takes two hands, leaving none for a drink, and I need good coordination), I've found someone to do some "step work" with (even though I do not consider myself a "member" of any 12-step group, I think the concept could be helpful to me). I try not to be "out" at night, because it seems like every liquer store is literally calling out to me. None of these are permenant measures, but they are helping me get through the "early days" of my sobriety. I hope to learn some more productive means down the road, but for now, I'll take what I can to stay sober. Hope some of this helps. Take care. Have a GOOD weekend.

keithj

It was really easy for me to see that once I started drinking, I had little control over the amount. It was much more difficult for me to see that I really had little control over whether or not I would pick up that first drink. It always seemed like I made the decision, like I changed my mind and decided to drink after comitting myself not to.

Why would I commit to not drinking, and then end up drinking? It was really demoralizing. I felt weak. I felt like a loser. I felt like I was letting everyone else down. I felt worthless.

Got to tell you, shorty, that is a miserable place to be.

That idea of "lost the power of choice in drink" started to sink in for me when I absolutely, 100%, knew what the outcome of my drinking was going to be. I got past the delusion that it would be different this time. I got past the 'consequences just didn't occur to me' part. And I knew what the outcome was to be. And I just knew that I would drink regardless. I didn't kid myself that maybe I'll make it this time, maybe I won't drink. I knew I would. That is a f**king hopeless feeling.

I consider that the first moment of clarity in my recovery.