shelly009

Thats AWESOME!! Good job man!

I have a joke for you:

Here it goes : Two muffins are sitting in the oven, one muffin says to the other muffin "boy its hot in here" Other muffin says " AH a talking muffin!!"

frstnm

thats a good start. a little less than a rib tickler but it made me smile.
What else ya got ??

shelly009

Ha haaa, actually I am terrible at jokes. My 3 year old neighbor told me that one.. he tells it better.

frstnm

On some of the other daily support threads there have been some, we'll say racy jokes, stories, (horror stories too ) and comments. Im not saying its necessary of course......but we are all adults (cept your 3 yr old)
Not forgetting the endless, harmless, banter and support for those who struggle and have become "friends" via SR.


Its all meant to be trying to laugh in the face of this evil disease.


Does your daughter have any R rated jokes ? I hear they grow up quick these days ! LOL

Dee74

The aspiring psychiatrists were attending their first class on emotional extremes. "Just to establish some parameters," said the professor to the student from Arkansas, "What is the opposite of joy?"

"Sadness," said the student.

And the opposite of depression?" he asked of the young lady from Oklahoma.

"Elation," said she.

"And you sir," he said to the young man from Texas, "how about the opposite of woe?"

The Texan replied, "Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up."


LOL

D

NewBeginning010

Hopefully not too racey for us adults

A Dog Story

A couple was going out for the evening. They'd gotten ready, all dolled-up , dog put out, etc. The taxi arrives and as they start out, the dog shoots back in the house. They don't want the dog shut in, so the wife goes out to the taxi while the husband goes upstairs to chase the dog out. The wife, not wanting it known that the house will be empty explains to the taxi driver, "He's just going upstairs to say good-bye to my mother."

A few minutes later, the husband gets into the cab. "Sorry I took so long" he says. "Stupid bitch was hiding under the bed and I had to poke her with a coat hanger to get her to come out! Then I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep her from scratching and biting me as I hauled her arse downstairs and tossed her out in the back yard! She better not **** in the vegetable garden again!"

The silence in the cab was deafening.

frstnm

THAT'S what Im talkin 'bout !
Now stop making me laugh out loud. Im trying to harbor a resentment against someone who was supposed to take me out recliner shopping AND the dude who helped me get a couch to my apt and then all he would say is nope doesnt fit lets bring it back.
Its working...

frstnm

Hi Funky Greeter Dude...
Is that an Aussie Redneck joke ?

Dee74

LOL there's probably a local variant, but I googled.



lol
D

frstnm

I never did see the problem with a refrigerator on the front porch. Who cares if it works or not......
I dId find my old car when I mowed the lawn...
And yes, I drive a truck and have a gun rack. But I put my fishing rods and a level on it rather than guns.

The State of (M)Assachusetts doesnt think that is a good idea any more. lol.

frstnm

OK this is going to start sounding like STONE'S SERIOUS THREAD - which the bugger CLOSED !!!!!!!
I just got out of surgery. Managing pain as a addict is a real beeeeatch !
I have been getting so much help and well wishes from friends and aquaintences from AA and NA.
Alot more to follow but I just dont have the endurance to sit up at a computer at the moment.
Hi Everyone !

frstnm

MA (parentrecovers) made me do this !!!!
thanks MA !

Dee74

Hope you feel better soon Frst - stay focused with that pain management stuff!

D

least

Take good care of yourself Frst! Love ya!

BeamMeUpScotty

OK, it was someone else who brought up rednecks:

How do you recognize a rich redneck? A guy with 2 cars on cinderblocks in his front yard.

What do you have when there are 32 rednecks in a room? A full set of teeth.

What is the shape of a redneck family tree? A straight line.

Why do rednecks go to family reunions? To meet women.

frstnm

I thought a redneck family tree was a wreath ???

How do you know that the tooth brush was invented by a redneck ?
If it was anyone else it would be the teeth brush...

frstnm

I think Im going to give the pain meds to someone else.
I dont think it is an issue at the moment, but I sure as hell dont want it to be.
I dont know anyone who isnt an addict though.
EVERYONE I know LOVES the shite.
I used to but it just doesnt have the same appeal now that I have been clean for a while..
Im actually afraid of taking it. I must be an idiot. I would rather be in pain than take it. I think. Ive never tried moderation or restraint with the stuff.

Anyone have any suggestions ?
I think I have a little different mindset on it but insight would be appreciated.

I know I need to go back to meetings because booze in movies and stuff has been looking...I dont know. Ive been romancing the thoughts a little. It doesnt last long usually. I just get figity. Is that a word ?

Rest now...

Fubarcdn

Here are a couple from my jeff Foxworthy redneck calendar
You might be a redneck if--------

All of your kids are named after Dallas Cowboy football players
Your bass boat costs more than your house
Your kids ride in the back of your truck so your dog can ride shotgun
You own 100 tires but you don't own a car
You have come back from the dump with more than you took there

That is the weeks offering from Jeff.

hope3

Hi First, I am so glad to hear how well you are doing.

Sorry for your pain.

Pain meds, flush them....IMO.

Love ya, hope3

luckedog

I saw this yesterday. I'ts not realy a joke;

"The speed of light travels faster than the speed of sound-- This is why people often LOOK bright- untill they start talking."