Here are a couple from my jeff Foxworthy redneck calendar
You might be a redneck if--------
All of your kids are named after Dallas Cowboy football players
Your bass boat costs more than your house
Your kids ride in the back of your truck so your dog can ride shotgun
You own 100 tires but you don't own a car
You have come back from the dump with more than you took there
That is the weeks offering from Jeff.