shaun00

i have a friend in a very similar situation as you...

He has been bending my ear for weeks.........lol...

i have NO experience of controlled...social drinking so i havent got a magic answer.....or come back.

Im still of the opinon that if you have doubts your an alcoholic or think you can control your drinking then try it.........

Until i conseeded that all control was gone ........i had no chance of recovery.
imo.

Ive enjoy your posts and contribution here and ill miss you buddy.

Take care of yourself.......and check in often.

And dont EVER EVER by afraid to come here and tell us IF you got it wrong.

Im chuffed you found some answers and support here when you needed it.

god be with you.........and guide you..................trucker

firestorm090

Good luck and best of wishes for your relationship and personal growth. You've been an inspiration here, so stop in whenever you can.

getr345

Stupid move.

But...

I knew this day was coming where you would announce this, I just didn't want to openly predict it here but I knew either this, or an outright return to drinking like you used to would be the end result for you. I could see it in your posts and your attitude. And on top of what a **** poor decision this is for you after all you've been through and put your girl through and all the help that has been offered you, now you have placed a seed of temptation in the minds of all the good people here who are trying so hard and might just now think it's OK for them to have a drink too.

Not cool at all if you ask me...

SHawk25

First of all I am not going back to drinking like I used to.. You are ASSUMING that. My old lifestyle has no appeal to me. And if you read my post fully, my problems in my relationship weren't from drinking. It was my lack of priorities in life. We've had many conversations about that..

I believe I put the blame on beer, cause I didn't want to blame myself.

I am very happy with my new lifestyle in all aspects. And there is no reason to treat myself as an alcoholic when I'm not. Nothing wrong with me having a couple of beers here or there..

I didn't place any seeds in anyone here. We all know that none of us are the same. All have different issues.. My issues were being careless in life, NOT cause I'm an alcoholic. Alcoholics know they can't drink, nothing I'm saying about myself is going to sway them.. We are all individuals here.

I'll check back for responses.. Then I'll check in from time to time to say hello. If I were to fail I would definitely come back and say I was wrong and I f**ked up.. But I am confident that won't happen.. I'm not throwing away the life I have now..

getr345

I think the one assuming here is you my friend.

Assuming you can now suddenly do what you could not do before.

Assuming you can now & again play with matches...

Here is what I read from you:

I used to play with matches. I nearly burned down my house and lost the love of my life because occasionally I would set fires and burn things. So I decided to stop playing with matches for a while and I found a forum where people offered me all kinds of support. Some of those people lost everything from playing with matches. I'm not like that. Well, I guess I'm not a real pyromaniac, just an irresponsible person who suddenly got responsible when I decided to stop playing with matches, but since I'm now super responsible and got my girl back by promising her I'd never play with matches again, and because I now realize that it was me and not the matches, I'm gonna go back to occasionally playing with matches and just see how that goes. Mind you, I'll only play with matches on special occasions, and never more than a couple matches, definitely never light the whole book, and for sure no lighters, just matches.

SHawk25

Once again assumptions..

I'm not getting into an online agrument with you. Especially with someone that doesn't know me..

I'm not an alcoholic, nor do I need a stranger telling me I am one..

Take care with your recovery.. I will take care of myself.

suki44883

SHawk, you don't owe anyone here any explanations. It's your life and your decision how to live it. However, posting a thread like this is bound to receive some responses such as what you've gotten. Just take what you need and leave the rest. I wish you much luck in your future endeavors.

yeahgr8

One big guy to another, i think that's harsh! The guy's only trying to help you, even if it is truly misplaced no harm done:-)

getr345

Did I call you an alcoholic? I don't think so.

And if you don't wish to receive feedback of all kinds, then why did you start a thread about your decision to start drinking again? I'd say it's because somewhere inside that confused head of yours, you want someone to tell you that what you're about to do, or may have already done is stupid and wrong.

Maybe someday you'll thank me for challenging you.

Maybe you just need to find things out the hard way.

Shall I start quoting all the posts where you said nothing and nobody could ever make you drink again? Or was all that just BS? Or were you wrong when you wrote that? Could you be wrong again right now? What annoys me most is that you had (have) a chance to truly avoid a lot of the misery that others have gone though over booze, you had (have) a chance to truly persevere before it really got (gets) too out of control, but for some reason you have to push it, you have to test it, and you have to find out the hard way if you're really an alcoholic, instead of just being a mature (responsible) person and truly realizing that maybe drinking isn't a good thing for you.

Where you see sudden responsibility in all that you are dong or are about to do, I see stunning irresponsibility; to yourself, to others here, and to your girl, who deserves better. The way I see it, the only responsible thing you've done in a while is quit drinking and now you're ready to throw that away.

Amazing...

IO Storm

Good luck to you..as you leave us.

And welcome back if you wish , or feel the need to return.

The only advice I would give..would be, if you get into trouble with your social drinking..

you might review your first posts when you came here.

Our minds do tend to "forget" easily when we start to feel better.

Again..good luck!

SHawk25

I can take criticism..

But Getr345 is talking that I'm going to fail or have already done so..

Yes you are calling me an alcoholic by saying having a couple of beers here and there is a failure. That just isn't true..

And as far as saying what I've shown responsibility.. Once again you don't know me personally and what I've been accomplishing with my life in every aspect..

Like I said for the 3rd time now.. I'm not letting her down (OR anyone else down, myself included) by having an occassional couple of beers.. Also if anyone close to me thought I shouldn't drink, I would take their advice. No one close to me thinks I have a drinking problem including myself..

I'm not confused at all, I love where I am in life and where I'm headed. Just find it comical that people try to knock you down..

Mark75

SHawk...

I am very happy for you, it turns out that you have not lost everything. Have a great life, you seem like someone whom I would enjoy the company of, really. However, I kind of understand where getr is coming from... Take a step back and remember the group of people you are talking to... alcoholics and addicts, people, like myself, who have suffered defeat from alcohol and drugs. Some who have lost all, some who could lose all, many who are still dealing with early sobriety and ambivalence over the first step, some who are still mourning the loss of something that, at one time, they liked. Also, remember the pain alcohol caused you... maybe it never will again cause you that kind of pain... you are not an alcoholic because you say you are not, remember, only you can say...

But what do ya say?... Have a great life, treat that woman in your life well... We are all here if you need us!!

Mark

JJB

I think what you say is really interesting and although i'm new to the forum and therefore can't profess to be any expert i'm pleased to see how supportive most of these responses have been. This is what i think makes this forum so positive. Everyone is so different Even if i haven't known you in the past i'd love to hear how you get on and wish you all the best.

getr345

What's comical is your hypocrisy and contradiction as you attempt to set up a planned relapse in the form of a goodbye thread on a recovery forum and then expect others to just STFU, because your mind is all made up and that's that. Maybe you would like people to tell you how great this is for you, and how it's what's right for you. Here, I'll try that approach...

Congrats SHawk on your decision to start drinking again after swearing up and down you were done! Awesome! Why did you wait so long? I bet your woman is really happy about this too because you guys talked about it. I'm sure that she, like I, realizes that you're special, you're different, and of course you can control it. I think this is the right choice for you to start drinking again, just on special occasions of course. Cheers mate! :beerchug: Have a drink for me, and the rest of us here on the forum. I bet that first cold beer is gonna taste and feel just great. Good thing you figured out that you're not an alcoholic and can control you're drinking now. What kind of beer are you planning on having? Heineken? Corona? Don't forget the lime man!! Rock on, and again congrats!!

Oh, and PS: Your wisdom and responsibility is an inspiration to us all.

Enough21

Many people have closely followed your journey here and have been so proud to see you regain the things you so hoped for when you chose to abstain from alcohol. I believe part of what may be causing some of the resistance is that it is a virtual slap in the face to tell posters on a recovery forum that you were just kidding about giving up alcohol for life after swearing up and down that you were better than that, and that there is nothing wrong with drinking on special occasions. It is just a little bit in poor taste and perhaps something to keep in mind before accusing some posters of trying to "knock you down."

flutter

Geesh.. those "few" beers you're gonna drink (or have been drinking) must be awfully important to you. Your defense of them is pretty powerful.

I'm happy I don't have to stress about all that stuff anymore.

getr345

Same here and his defense of them and insistence on having them is direct and overwhelming evidence of what he claims not to have which is a drinking problem. Man drinks too much, it begins to screw up his life, man decides to quit drinking, he goes a month or so, things start to get better so he "decides" to start drinking again, all the while claiming he does not, and never had a drinking problem?

Newsflash to that man: an inability to quit drinking or even abstain for a lengthy period of time is indicative of having a problem with alcohol. Your story is typical, and it's said that you cannot and will not see the forest through the trees. Ironic isn't that the only way to "prove" that you're not an alcoholic (a term you seem to hold in a contempt, as if it's a shameful thing) is to never drink again, not drink more or try to control it.

SHawk25

Sarcasm shows alot about your character..

I guess I am just wasting my time here.. Nothing against anyone, but I don't belong here.. I don't "stress" about a couple of beers..

I wasn't "just kidding" about not drinking a couple of months ago. I had a lot on my mind and alot of things going on. At the time I thought that's what I should do.. But there is no reason for me to keep treating myself as an alcoholic if I'm not..

This is my fault, I admit that. I blamed drinking as the issue to escape the realism of taking blame for my other actions.

I just started this thread to be honest to everyone to why I am not going to be on this site anymore..

I apologize for nothing, I will defend myself when someone calls me out as a failure.. I am proud of who I am and who I've become.. So use all the sarcasm and berate me all you want..

Honestly take care everyone, thanks for those who supported me.. And for you nay sayers, I know you mean well.. Just remember individuals are different, what didn't work for some isn't the mold for everyone.. I hope everyone travels down the path they want for themselves... Peace out..

SHawk25

Real quick. Answer this.. Why would a non alcoholic abstain for the rest of his life? What's the point to that?

And for the VERY LAST TIME, drinking wasn't the source of my problems.. I and my loved ones know that... The people who ACTUALLY KNOW ME !!!

flutter

For the record, I don't consider myself an alcoholic either. Labels are lame.

I do know that drinking isn't good in my life, so I stopped. My life is better without it, I can't imagine an argument from anyone that their lives are actually better with it. I never wake up and regret not drinking.. but I sure as hell have regretted a handful of occasions that I did.

I hope you find your way.