Hello
Member
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 1,243
Hey I am with you on that one. I always rebelled when someone tried to convince me that their way "was it". I never connected to organized religions as I never really understood them. I actually got my faith through AA because they allowed me to believe in a higher power of my choosing. For the first time I was allowed to believe in what I believe in. That made all the difference in the world. It didn't happen right away, it was a slow process but I keep praying a little each morning and evening. Eventually I noticed goods things happening that were happening for a good reason and made the connection. Like you being here and posting for example.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Hiya and welcome
I was reading what you have written and could have written some of it myself.... I self harm and have for many years... i've also drank for many years...
I too was worried that my s\h would increase once i stopped drinking as i would have to deal with sh*te... and i wont lie to you i have s/h'd since i quit but nothing like i thought i would...
I am not saying it is easy.... but it can be done...
As for help: I went to see my doctor and was refered to a psychiatrist... i too wouldn't take the pills "believing i can do it alone"... but they in turn have put me forward to see a psychotherapist and it is free... NHS
The waiting list is quite long... but really what one isn't now... (dentist/doctor/shopping queue) (we live in a world of queues)
I use destraction techniques myself and go on self help websites.... there are afew out there... i will pm you one.
This is longer than i meant it to be so sorry if i've waffled...
I just really want you to get the help you deserve and want... you have soooo much to look forward to in this life.... grab it with both hands and hold on.
Sorry... starting to sound like a sermon (not sure of spelling)
I really hope you find some peace and if you want to pm me... please do.
Be well
louis
I was reading what you have written and could have written some of it myself.... I self harm and have for many years... i've also drank for many years...
I too was worried that my s\h would increase once i stopped drinking as i would have to deal with sh*te... and i wont lie to you i have s/h'd since i quit but nothing like i thought i would...
I am not saying it is easy.... but it can be done...
As for help: I went to see my doctor and was refered to a psychiatrist... i too wouldn't take the pills "believing i can do it alone"... but they in turn have put me forward to see a psychotherapist and it is free... NHS
The waiting list is quite long... but really what one isn't now... (dentist/doctor/shopping queue) (we live in a world of queues)
I use destraction techniques myself and go on self help websites.... there are afew out there... i will pm you one.
This is longer than i meant it to be so sorry if i've waffled...
I just really want you to get the help you deserve and want... you have soooo much to look forward to in this life.... grab it with both hands and hold on.
Sorry... starting to sound like a sermon (not sure of spelling)
I really hope you find some peace and if you want to pm me... please do.
Be well
louis
Lack 'a' power
Join Date: Feb 2009
Location: Texas
Posts: 88
The first step in my return from the gates of hell was not because I found faith in something. It was that I had completely lost faith in myself. I was beat!
Some of the only reasons I hung with AA in the begining was they smoked cigarettes, swore, the coffee was free, and they talked like they had been where I had been.
The only thing I had to do was have a desire to stop drinking. I didn't even have a desire to live, let alone a desire to quit drinking but that was ok too.
I was told if I wanted to live, "Suit up, show up, shut up, and clean up!" Like I said I was beat and I followed directions. For once something was working in my life.
"We had to stop fighting (or hurting) everybody and everything" (Including ourselves)
Thanx, you probably helped me more than I helped you.
Some of the only reasons I hung with AA in the begining was they smoked cigarettes, swore, the coffee was free, and they talked like they had been where I had been.
The only thing I had to do was have a desire to stop drinking. I didn't even have a desire to live, let alone a desire to quit drinking but that was ok too.
I was told if I wanted to live, "Suit up, show up, shut up, and clean up!" Like I said I was beat and I followed directions. For once something was working in my life.
"We had to stop fighting (or hurting) everybody and everything" (Including ourselves)
Thanx, you probably helped me more than I helped you.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 11
There are no pyscyatrists in my areas, which means I would have to travel to see one, which again would mean more costs, but perhaps I should discuss finding the money somewhere in our buget for some sort of councilling or pyscotherapy....
im not trying to make up excuses... i have looked into this sort of help many times and have been turned off by the fact it is going to cost me.
I have been using a support forum for the self harm, however I feel i cannot post on there right at this minute because my boyfriend insists he has the right to read what I put on this forum, and I want support seperatly from him, aswell as his support... if that makes sense?
im not trying to make up excuses... i have looked into this sort of help many times and have been turned off by the fact it is going to cost me.
I have been using a support forum for the self harm, however I feel i cannot post on there right at this minute because my boyfriend insists he has the right to read what I put on this forum, and I want support seperatly from him, aswell as his support... if that makes sense?
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 11
chris, i am considering AA, but im trying on my own first, the whole group thing scared the hell out of me if im honest!
im sooo shy its just untrue... well... im not if i have had a drink, but thats not really the point is it :P
im sooo shy its just untrue... well... im not if i have had a drink, but thats not really the point is it :P
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Here's me. but when drinking could be found in doorways!
Posts: 1,138
Makes perfect sense... please beleive me when i say i didn't think you were trying to make excuses.... and i understand the need to keep things seperate...
I am not up on computers so i cant really suggest anything about keeping things personal but as i said if you need or want to chat... i am willing to listen...
Please dont feel you are alone though... your not!!!!
be well
louis
I am not up on computers so i cant really suggest anything about keeping things personal but as i said if you need or want to chat... i am willing to listen...
Please dont feel you are alone though... your not!!!!
be well
louis
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Mar 2009
Posts: 11
I cant really keep things seperate, we are both on the same forum for help, and he knows my username. I would hate to move to a new forum as i feel i have a real link with there people now, me and the boyfriend used to have an agreement that we didnt read each others posts, but he no longer trusts me.
thanks for the offer louis, its really kind of you.
thanks for the offer louis, its really kind of you.
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