eeerooo

i WON'T BOTHEER ANYONE ANYMORE

Aysha

I think alot of that is the alcohol talking. Menaing the self pity and all.
I was never a dri ker. but a raging crack addict. And I also did alot of that when I was high and depressed.
I am sure once you get some rest. You will be thinking alot clearer. I agree you have a lot of work to do. But it isnt impossible and it doesnt happen over night.
Your still here and still talking. So to me that says you want to get better.
Glad its your last beer.
You seem to be expressing yourself just fine.
And I agree. Lots of water. Might help with the crap feeling in the morning.

KenL

Don't worry about it Erica. WE are here to help others, and that includes you.

KenL

I totally understand your point. We're just trying to help see her through. That's all.

Aysha

You didnt offend me.
This is what this board is for.
Although it would be best if you probably got some rest. But if you need to talk. Keep talking.
There isnt a requirement to read a thread if it makes soemone uncomfortable.
So with all do respect. If you know whats goign on here and dont like whats said. Then its best you dont read.
I am not trying to come off with an attitude. But someone is asking for help. They are the OP. And everyone has the right to be here regardless.
Until someone is being disruptive. I see no problem with posting on their own thread.
Maybe it would be best if you just ignored this thread if it is affecting you in a negative way.
Please dont take that wrong.

flutter

Glad to see you back, sorry to see that you're so drunk.
We all have stress, and many many of us have had very long drinking careers, hard lives, etc. There is no magic 'no drinking' answer.. there's no epiphany here. Stop drinking, get medical help, take a step. Many of us also have chosen to cope differently, I hope you do too, very soon.

Maybe post here sometime too when you're not drinking, we would like to get to know the real Erica!

eeerooo

I JUST HOPE I COULD FIND A GOOD AA GROUP WHEN I MOVE. WITH PEOPLE THAT REALLY CARE BECAUSE I REALLY WANT TO STOP. ITS SO MUCH EASIER TO DEAL WITH THOSE THAT ARE CLOSER TO CONQUERING THERE PROBLEMS AND SCOLD OR TURN THEIR BACKS ON THE ONES THAT ARE STILL SCREWEED. THOSE THAT ARE SOBER FOR 30 DAYS OR 60 OR A YEALAR SOBER ARE ALREADY GOOD THIS FORUM SHOULD BE ABLE TO HANDLE PEOPLE LIKE ME. IS THIS FORMUM ONLY FOR PEPLE TRYING TO STAY SOBER OR FOR PEOPLE THAT WANT TO GET SOBER. DON'T MAKE ME FEEL LIKE i'M SUBHUMAN TO THEM. IT'S JUST BEEN HARDER FOR ME ITS NOT A GAME. THANK YOU

seemethrough

Okay! So, my last reply was not recieved well. I will take Chiy's advice and stick to other posts. Erica, I wish you the best. Sorry if I offended anyone.

eeerooo

I am not offended. But i didn't know that there were certain parameters for posting on this form

KenL

Everything's gonna be fine Erica, you just keep talking OK? Tell us about your dogs. Do you have kids? I think the other day you said you had a master's degree. I may be wrong. But if I'm right, what is it in?

Blue77

I agree with Chiyntia...what a great post. If eeeroo, or anyone, wants to talk, even when they have been drinking, go ahead and post. If there is anyone that doesn't want to hear it, please, don't. But let's let people talk...we've all been in a position where we were drunk and felt awful and just wanted to talk. eeeroo, keep talking if you need to. Also, get some rest. I know how you feel. You are not bothering anyone. You came here to post, that is a huge step and maybe the first step. You are not alone. Keep posting, those that want to listen and respond will. It's okay. After you wake up in the morning, keep posting. We are all here for you. Again, I know how you feel and i'm sure lots of people on here do as well.

eeerooo

Thank you blue and ken,

you know what true suffering is about. This ain't no game

Aysha

It doesnt matter how much time a person has in recovery Erica. Its the will to keep trying no matter what. This board is for anyone interested in recovery. There is no clean time requirement.
I am the relapse poster child. See how many posts I have? I have been here almost 2 yrs and only have about a month clean for the millionth time. Trust me. If being clean was the requirement. I would have been gone a looong time ago.
Your fine.

KenL

Erica, was there some particular reason for why you drank tonight aside from the nervousness and anxiety? Is there anything in particular you'd like to vent about?

eeerooo

I THINK CLEARER WHEN I DON'T DRINK BUT I GET TO MANY PHYSICAL PAINS AND ARRYTHMIA WHAN I'M NOT DRINKING. I DON'T KNOW IF IT WD. DON'T KNOW. JUST THIS TERRIBLED FEELING IN MY CHEST. I LOVE YOU ALL. THOSE OF YOU THAT REALLY CARE. i'M GOING TO SLEEP IT OFF NOW, PUT THAT JUG OF CRYSTAL LITE NEXT TO ME FOR THAT NASTY THIRSTYT FEELLING. GOOD NIGHT AND GOOD BLESS YOU.

FROM A PERSON THAT AS A HEART AND WANTS TO BE SOBER MORE THAN ANYTHNG IN THE WORLD. GOD BLESS.

flutter

If you want to be sober more than anything.. more than you want to drink, you've reached a critical step in the beginning of recovery. I hope you welcome it, and pursue it. But I know alcohol is doing a lot of the typing right now.

I hope you get some good sleep, drink all that crystal light, and come visit with us tomorrow.

Happy Birthday, btw.

KenL

God bless you too Erica. Rest well and SR will be here to continue where we left off tonight.

Aysha

Good Night Erica.
We will be here tomorrow for you.

least

I agree that wanting to be sober more than wanting to drink is very important. And SR is like AA in that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop drinking/drugging.

I don't handle stress very well myself. I was drinking to make my stress go away... only it came back a lot worse after the alcohol wore off and I felt like dirt. Stress is the reason I slipped last weekend after more than six months sober - I couldn't stand the anxiety. Now I'm back on the wagon with six days sober. The anxiety is still there but I'm not drinking over it cause I know now (again) that there's nothing so bad that alcohol can't make it worse.

As to your bf asking you to not bring your dogs to the new place... well, to a dog lover like me, that's really cold. I can't speak for anyone else but I wouldn't be able to do that.

I hope you're able to stay sober today. Day one would be a good start to a sober and better life.

Strangef8

Well Erica, I'm sorry to see that you slipped again. As long as you wake up in the morning and come here looking for support, then you are doing the right thing. My suggestion is to spend some time reading about other people and just getting a feel for tis wonderful place. As you can tell we are here for you, you just gotta look for the support BEFORE you start drinking. I can't believe that anyone here would treat you bad for slipping. The posts in which peole say that you can say whatever you want and that they don't have to read it are right.


Just keep trying girl. Make up your mind that you want to better yourself and keep trying. if you fail again, try again and again and again and again.