now im drinking again
Too far from the beach
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 387
Fix it
Hey stop drinking and start enjoying life. Write down ten things you would rather do than drink. Do it now no matter how stoned you are. Pick one thing and do it. drink a big glass of water and lay down for a few hours and feel better and than do something to help yourself. You will die if you don't. I am glad you posted this note. I just had 6 weeks of pure straightness and for some dumbass reason, I binged this week. I am just coming out of it and I feel so good to at least tell someone else to cut the crap and fix the problem. Ya know the old saying, " do as I say, not as I do." Let's all get our *&^% together and live like normal people.
My head is finally clearing up now and I and really going to try and get on the straight and narrow path. I will stay on this thread so I can hear back from you later. Just stop drinking and stay on the computer.
My head is finally clearing up now and I and really going to try and get on the straight and narrow path. I will stay on this thread so I can hear back from you later. Just stop drinking and stay on the computer.
bona fido dog-lover
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: SF Bay area, CA
Posts: 99,783
I don't think Pinkcuda was being a theologian, only saying straight up that 'we' can't 'make' anyone else stop drinking. Only they can do it, with whatever help they can get, and for many it's a Higher Power of some kind.
I also don't find at all that anyone was being 'smug' or forgetting where they came from, but were just being honest as others were honest with them in early recovery.
I relapsed too many times to count, and I always blamed someone or something other than myself and my ability to 'choose' my path. I too got some 'honest answers' that I resented at first, but looking back I understand they were being honest with me for my own good. It is NEVER anyone else's fault if someone chooses to drink - the power is within ourselves or whatever Higher Power we might believe in. For some it's God, Buddha, the Ocean - whatever. Whatever gets us to The Light.
We will do whatever we humanly can to help Nikkishine, but it's ultimately up to her to make the right and healthy choice to not drink.
Just my perspective, for what it's worth...
I also don't find at all that anyone was being 'smug' or forgetting where they came from, but were just being honest as others were honest with them in early recovery.
I relapsed too many times to count, and I always blamed someone or something other than myself and my ability to 'choose' my path. I too got some 'honest answers' that I resented at first, but looking back I understand they were being honest with me for my own good. It is NEVER anyone else's fault if someone chooses to drink - the power is within ourselves or whatever Higher Power we might believe in. For some it's God, Buddha, the Ocean - whatever. Whatever gets us to The Light.
We will do whatever we humanly can to help Nikkishine, but it's ultimately up to her to make the right and healthy choice to not drink.
Just my perspective, for what it's worth...
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
How's it going today nicki?
One of the guys in my AA group starts his share by saying "My name is _ _ _ _ and I'm an alcoholic, and the most important thing I'll do today is go to bed without taking a drink.
Then he gets to wake up sober and do it all over again.
Seems like a simple plan to me. Hope you are well.
One of the guys in my AA group starts his share by saying "My name is _ _ _ _ and I'm an alcoholic, and the most important thing I'll do today is go to bed without taking a drink.
Then he gets to wake up sober and do it all over again.
Seems like a simple plan to me. Hope you are well.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2009
Location: Syracuse, NY
Posts: 331
Everyday i pray to God and he answers but does not make these choices for me or others, I would rather be in a bed than a casket so i keep my drinks from my reach, I am pounding coffee after the gym each day like a psycho though oh well another day for that habit.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
I am sorry I didn't see your post Nicki...
The newcomer's thread moves fast..and posts get moved down the line quickly..
I know it is not an excuse, however.
Try to not drink just today.
You've done it before...
The newcomer's thread moves fast..and posts get moved down the line quickly..
I know it is not an excuse, however.
Try to not drink just today.
You've done it before...
let it grow!
Join Date: Oct 2006
Location: USA
Posts: 15,540
Originally Posted by nickishine 
i want to blame you guys cuz yesterday i was yelling out and no one til sooo late even anxswerd my thread. what is it about this site unless you choose a novel approach in "title" your not acknoledged????
it's for who???? people that ?????????????? Whatda bout the hurting??????????
it's for who???? people that ?????????????? Whatda bout the hurting??????????
recovery is possible.
k
Member
Join Date: Dec 2006
Location: Lake Tahoe CA
Posts: 1,098
Dear Nikki -
I sent you two PM's. I hope you get them. I am struggling too. I left my phone number. We live in the same small town, heck when we were sober we discovered we even went to the same meetings (although I went to the noon meeting and you the 5:30PM meeting). I absolutely mean it when I say we can do this and can support each other. I really do know how you feel. it is horrible to relapse when one doesn't even know why, except we are alcoholics. Stopping is hell, but we can do it. I didn't see your other thread, I will read it and I pray that we can touch base soon. The guilt and shame of returning to meetings is strong, I know. We can tackle that one together too, if you would like. I'll be thinking about you today with prayers and positive energy.
mtnmagic:praying
I sent you two PM's. I hope you get them. I am struggling too. I left my phone number. We live in the same small town, heck when we were sober we discovered we even went to the same meetings (although I went to the noon meeting and you the 5:30PM meeting). I absolutely mean it when I say we can do this and can support each other. I really do know how you feel. it is horrible to relapse when one doesn't even know why, except we are alcoholics. Stopping is hell, but we can do it. I didn't see your other thread, I will read it and I pray that we can touch base soon. The guilt and shame of returning to meetings is strong, I know. We can tackle that one together too, if you would like. I'll be thinking about you today with prayers and positive energy.
mtnmagic:praying
Looking For Myself...Sober
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Where the heart is
Posts: 10,209
Nicki..I do have to admit..I thought about my response all day today. And it bothered me a little. I just say whats on my mind. And honestly..What I said is the truth. Maybe I could be a little more sensitive when I say things. Now you know one of my character defects.
Blaming others isnt going to get you better. And me rubbing your belly and letting you blame others isnt either.
I want to apologse to you for not being more sensitive. But I still stand by what I said.
I hope your feeling better.
I am going to put to you like this.
I am like that person. And the best things ever said to me were the things I didnt like. Which was the truth. No beating around the bush about it. I got more out of the ones who werent afraid to tell me like it is.
I spoke the truth. And that is pretty cut and dry too.
I am not going to hold my tongue and blow smoke up someones ass for any reason.
Sugar coating never helps anyone.
And I am not an AA person. I am not even that far into recovery. Not even a month. It isnt about being smug. Its about me knowing how it feels to struggle. I do it everyday too. And if someone is going to let me fool myself by pointing fingers everywhere but at myself. I would rather they dont even bother.
We need to learn to take respnsibility for own actions.
Bottom line.
Blaming others isnt going to get you better. And me rubbing your belly and letting you blame others isnt either.
I want to apologse to you for not being more sensitive. But I still stand by what I said.
I hope your feeling better.
Originally Posted by jimmyjam21359
Look I saw your Post to Nikkishine and you know Yourself that people Do On This(Board) Forget their Primary Purpose and forget How they felt when Struggling??? Do be so Smug??? The Voice Of Experience JIMMYJAM
I am like that person. And the best things ever said to me were the things I didnt like. Which was the truth. No beating around the bush about it. I got more out of the ones who werent afraid to tell me like it is.
I spoke the truth. And that is pretty cut and dry too.
I am not going to hold my tongue and blow smoke up someones ass for any reason.
Sugar coating never helps anyone.
And I am not an AA person. I am not even that far into recovery. Not even a month. It isnt about being smug. Its about me knowing how it feels to struggle. I do it everyday too. And if someone is going to let me fool myself by pointing fingers everywhere but at myself. I would rather they dont even bother.
We need to learn to take respnsibility for own actions.
Bottom line.
What comes around, Goes around
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Warren Mi
Posts: 170
I think coming to this web sight helps but it is not my main hope in staying sober.
That would be Me. I am my main hope and each and everyone of you here should be your own main hope to being and staying sober.
I was the one lifting that bottle to my lips and chuggin it down. It was I who went to the party store to get a bottle of 7 crown or jim beam.
It was I who decided for myself to stop the drinking and get and stay sober.
We as individuals decide weather or not to drink.cause we have to live with ourselves.
If you want to be sober, be sober
If you want to drink, drink.
But if you are reading this---you must want to be sober---so be sober.
Thats life cut and dry.
I want to be sober and I will stay sober.
If you want to be sober, you will be and stay sober.
Its really all up to us as individuals---thats the bottom line.
That would be Me. I am my main hope and each and everyone of you here should be your own main hope to being and staying sober.
I was the one lifting that bottle to my lips and chuggin it down. It was I who went to the party store to get a bottle of 7 crown or jim beam.
It was I who decided for myself to stop the drinking and get and stay sober.
We as individuals decide weather or not to drink.cause we have to live with ourselves.
If you want to be sober, be sober
If you want to drink, drink.
But if you are reading this---you must want to be sober---so be sober.
Thats life cut and dry.
I want to be sober and I will stay sober.
If you want to be sober, you will be and stay sober.
Its really all up to us as individuals---thats the bottom line.
I'm just a girl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 170
this is the first negative thread I have seen on the board and it is disappointing. People that sound like "they know it all," well they are the ones that are hanging in there...they are the ones that have experience..so listen to what they are saying. We are not here to bad mouth each other, put one another down or attack anyone. Again, this board is about support and I know us addicts do have our mood swings...but again, this board is a great tool of support and if that can't be respected or if we can't respect others because we don't always want to hear the truth...well that is just a shame.
I'm just a girl
Join Date: Jan 2009
Posts: 170
Originally Posted by chiynita
Nicki..I do have to admit..I thought about my response all day today. And it bothered me a little. I just say whats on my mind. And honestly..What I said is the truth. Maybe I could be a little more sensitive when I say things. Now you know one of my character defects.
Blaming others isnt going to get you better. And me rubbing your belly and letting you blame others isnt either.
I want to apologse to you for not being more sensitive. But I still stand by what I said.
I hope your feeling better.
I am going to put to you like this.
I am like that person. And the best things ever said to me were the things I didnt like. Which was the truth. No beating around the bush about it. I got more out of the ones who werent afraid to tell me like it is.
I spoke the truth. And that is pretty cut and dry too.
I am not going to hold my tongue and blow smoke up someones ass for any reason.
Sugar coating never helps anyone.
And I am not an AA person. I am not even that far into recovery. Not even a month. It isnt about being smug. Its about me knowing how it feels to struggle. I do it everyday too. And if someone is going to let me fool myself by pointing fingers everywhere but at myself. I would rather they dont even bother.
We need to learn to take respnsibility for own actions.
Bottom line.
Blaming others isnt going to get you better. And me rubbing your belly and letting you blame others isnt either.
I want to apologse to you for not being more sensitive. But I still stand by what I said.
I hope your feeling better.
I am going to put to you like this.
I am like that person. And the best things ever said to me were the things I didnt like. Which was the truth. No beating around the bush about it. I got more out of the ones who werent afraid to tell me like it is.
I spoke the truth. And that is pretty cut and dry too.
I am not going to hold my tongue and blow smoke up someones ass for any reason.
Sugar coating never helps anyone.
And I am not an AA person. I am not even that far into recovery. Not even a month. It isnt about being smug. Its about me knowing how it feels to struggle. I do it everyday too. And if someone is going to let me fool myself by pointing fingers everywhere but at myself. I would rather they dont even bother.
We need to learn to take respnsibility for own actions.
Bottom line.
What comes around, Goes around
Join Date: Dec 2008
Location: Warren Mi
Posts: 170
I hope I didnt sound negative to anyone with my post.
I just look at this as I see it.
I had a bad day yesterday--not much went right--I thought about getting a drink(That would be a Pint of whiskey) but instead I drank lemon honey tea.
If I did get that drink(talking about that pint again) It would not have made anything better. What did make things better was not drinking and waking up today to a much better day than yesterday. I even drank more tea today---some really nice white tea.
I just look at this as I see it.
I had a bad day yesterday--not much went right--I thought about getting a drink(That would be a Pint of whiskey) but instead I drank lemon honey tea.
If I did get that drink(talking about that pint again) It would not have made anything better. What did make things better was not drinking and waking up today to a much better day than yesterday. I even drank more tea today---some really nice white tea.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2008
Location: Central, La.
Posts: 422
Hang in there! I have been there too. I did my share of blaming.....Someone told me one day when you point your finger in blame, there are three more pointing back at me. Thing is, DON'T QUIT TRYING!!!!!!!! Increase your resource base.......try other meetings as well f2f and so on......Just try to stay in today, tomorrow will take care of itself.:ghug
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