Time for a personal intervention...
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
Thanks Bam 
one hour at a time if needed Bam - make a commitment not to drink today, everyday
Stone - I craved oblivion too - got a bit desperate when I couldn't find it anymore...but that's what happens, you drink more and more...:crazy
D
one hour at a time if needed Bam - make a commitment not to drink today, everyday
Stone - I craved oblivion too - got a bit desperate when I couldn't find it anymore...but that's what happens, you drink more and more...:crazy
D
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Can I hijack for just a sec? I did crave the ultimate oblivion...the cops asked me..
after auto accidents and an "accidental" OD'...when I wound up in the nuthouse..
"Were you trying to kill yourself?" I said "No!" Got really angry..I did. But my actions
seemed to be proving otherwise.
The sober life..the period of time we give our brains, bodies, minds, and spirits the
chance to clear out..heal, and rebuild is an amazing time.
Things start to change. Our thinking clears, little by little. Our bodies rebel mightily
at first..then settles down eventually. And..sobriety is not hard anymore.
Give it a chance. Ride out the rough bumps, as Dee said..he had them, I did..
we all did. Just give it a chance. I know you won't be sorry.
Hugs
after auto accidents and an "accidental" OD'...when I wound up in the nuthouse..
"Were you trying to kill yourself?" I said "No!" Got really angry..I did. But my actions
seemed to be proving otherwise.
The sober life..the period of time we give our brains, bodies, minds, and spirits the
chance to clear out..heal, and rebuild is an amazing time.
Things start to change. Our thinking clears, little by little. Our bodies rebel mightily
at first..then settles down eventually. And..sobriety is not hard anymore.
Give it a chance. Ride out the rough bumps, as Dee said..he had them, I did..
we all did. Just give it a chance. I know you won't be sorry.
Hugs
Adjusting my Sails
Join Date: Jan 2008
Posts: 1,021
I too hope I didn't offend you in my first post. It was not my intention. I was just sharing my experience with you. I can relate to everything you are going through right now. One of the decisions I made before I sobered up is that my life will no longer be career oriented. I got out of what I had been doing since the age of sixteen (28 year career) and found a job that payed just enough money to pay bills but made no other demands on me or my life. My life is now spiritual peace oriented.
My doctors assured me I was dieing and I remember when becoming dirt sounded so peaceful to me. The day I went into that courtroom my lawyer assured me I would do 2 to 10 days in jail. The judge assured me I would do 6 months to a year and I was led out in handcuffs. For some reason God decided to keep me here and allowed the judge to save my life. I would be dead if they had not stopped me.
Bam I understand how you feel about people. I was completely alone in my oblivious final days of drinking and in jail I didn't want anything to do with anyone. By the time I got out I hadn't spoken much to anyone in over a year and had absolutely no desire to start.
Bamb I have very few people I allow in and even then to be honest....... I'm trying but it's hard. I do believe there is a soft spiritual beauty hidden in other people and I need that in my life. Maybe finding that is why I'm still alive.
Today I have been sober for exactly 10 months and I have no desire to go back to numbing my senses and wasting my life.
I wish the best for you.
Originally Posted by IO Storm 
Can I hijack for just a sec? I did crave the ultimate oblivion...
Bam I understand how you feel about people. I was completely alone in my oblivious final days of drinking and in jail I didn't want anything to do with anyone. By the time I got out I hadn't spoken much to anyone in over a year and had absolutely no desire to start.
Bamb I have very few people I allow in and even then to be honest....... I'm trying but it's hard. I do believe there is a soft spiritual beauty hidden in other people and I need that in my life. Maybe finding that is why I'm still alive.
Today I have been sober for exactly 10 months and I have no desire to go back to numbing my senses and wasting my life.
I wish the best for you.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2005
Location: UK
Posts: 18,299
I thought part of me must want to die because why else would I do this to myself? The thought of dying was almost comforting at times in my life.
But on Wednesday when the withdrawals were so bad I thought I might have a heart attack (seriously)....everything within me wanted to live.
Nice posts IO and Dean.
Bam.
But on Wednesday when the withdrawals were so bad I thought I might have a heart attack (seriously)....everything within me wanted to live.
Nice posts IO and Dean.
Bam.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
With you Bam...:praying: and hugs!
Something else that helps me..now..is to find something I am grateful for today.
At least one thing.
And to do one useful thing for someone else, and for myself.
At least one thing.
And then be grateful for that.
I don't like labels! But, I have bipolar disorder..and some days?
They can be real tough..and using these simple tools give meaning
to my life. They get me out of myself..out of my head..
They might help you.
Something else that helps me..now..is to find something I am grateful for today.
At least one thing.
And to do one useful thing for someone else, and for myself.
At least one thing.
And then be grateful for that.
I don't like labels! But, I have bipolar disorder..and some days?
They can be real tough..and using these simple tools give meaning
to my life. They get me out of myself..out of my head..
They might help you.
I got nothin'
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: My house.
Posts: 4,890
I'm not going...I think my mom's upset about that, but she'll get over it. I know if I go there, I'll get smashed. I'm not fond of weddings, anyways...it'll leave me feeling crappier and give me the excuse I need.
Shoot, even at family functions I feel like an outsider...
...It'll be hard enough at home tonight. There's booze in the house, but it doesn't belong to me. I'm going to ignore it....I'm just glad I'm not going to have to be around a lot of people (getting drunk--them and me both).
Shoot, even at family functions I feel like an outsider...
...It'll be hard enough at home tonight. There's booze in the house, but it doesn't belong to me. I'm going to ignore it....I'm just glad I'm not going to have to be around a lot of people (getting drunk--them and me both).
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