Hi, I'm new
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Sep 2008
Location: Riverside CT
Posts: 2
Hi, I'm new
Hello Everyone,
I am here because I was an accidental addict to Lorazepam (generic for Ativan) and was addicted after 10 weeks of use...After a 4 month taper (considered fast) I am benzo free as of Aug. 3 but still symptomatic...I have issues (anxiety and insomnia and some depression) but because of the inability to relax I started several mornings of having relatively small amounts of alcohol but discovered any amount during this process sends you to hell...
So I am here to get support to stay away...I only did 5 mornings straight then stopped a couple of days but then 2 more mornings...each time I felt bad, very bad,,but did it out of sheer desperation...
Had to pour the stuff out,,,but I believe I have learned my lesson...just want to make sure I stick to my resolve and know it certainly can't hurt to get support from others fighting this demon. There is a time at 5 am when anxiety is super bad, I'm alone and there is that temptation...so there can never be alcohol available...It is as though all reason goes completely out the window...because I know how sick even a little bit will make me when it reacts with the screwed up gaba receptors that are not recovered from the benzo use/withdrawal...Many people don't know just how serious benzo withdrawal is...it is even much worse than heroin or cocaine because it goes on for months.
I thought I used to drink responsibly before benzos but admit I was using alcohol some of the times to get through situations...which I must say is alcoholism,,,no room for anything less than honesty here...I also was trying everything under the sun to sleep and did use brandy at night to get to sleep also...it worked a little but then ofcourse you wake up...it doesn't solve anything and does not cure insomnia.
Well, guess that is it for now...Thanks for listening and look forward to talking to others...Appreciate this forum,,,and the format seems the same as the TRAP.UK site where I am a member due to my benzodiazepine withdrawal...
Love and hugs,
Karin
I am here because I was an accidental addict to Lorazepam (generic for Ativan) and was addicted after 10 weeks of use...After a 4 month taper (considered fast) I am benzo free as of Aug. 3 but still symptomatic...I have issues (anxiety and insomnia and some depression) but because of the inability to relax I started several mornings of having relatively small amounts of alcohol but discovered any amount during this process sends you to hell...
So I am here to get support to stay away...I only did 5 mornings straight then stopped a couple of days but then 2 more mornings...each time I felt bad, very bad,,but did it out of sheer desperation...
Had to pour the stuff out,,,but I believe I have learned my lesson...just want to make sure I stick to my resolve and know it certainly can't hurt to get support from others fighting this demon. There is a time at 5 am when anxiety is super bad, I'm alone and there is that temptation...so there can never be alcohol available...It is as though all reason goes completely out the window...because I know how sick even a little bit will make me when it reacts with the screwed up gaba receptors that are not recovered from the benzo use/withdrawal...Many people don't know just how serious benzo withdrawal is...it is even much worse than heroin or cocaine because it goes on for months.
I thought I used to drink responsibly before benzos but admit I was using alcohol some of the times to get through situations...which I must say is alcoholism,,,no room for anything less than honesty here...I also was trying everything under the sun to sleep and did use brandy at night to get to sleep also...it worked a little but then ofcourse you wake up...it doesn't solve anything and does not cure insomnia.
Well, guess that is it for now...Thanks for listening and look forward to talking to others...Appreciate this forum,,,and the format seems the same as the TRAP.UK site where I am a member due to my benzodiazepine withdrawal...
Love and hugs,
Karin
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
Hi Karin:
Great job on kicking the benzos and having enough insight to see that you are still self medicating and now with booze. I have read about benzo withdrawals and understand that it is a nasty beast to conquer. Glad you are here. Join the September Class or the 30 days and under threads to help keep you accountable. That's what has helped me with my alcoholism. I have something else I haven't beaten yet but this is the place to be for support and HONESTY. You won't always like what you hear but it helps to know that someone on this site will have always been in your shoes and understand exactly how you feel.
Kathleen
Great job on kicking the benzos and having enough insight to see that you are still self medicating and now with booze. I have read about benzo withdrawals and understand that it is a nasty beast to conquer. Glad you are here. Join the September Class or the 30 days and under threads to help keep you accountable. That's what has helped me with my alcoholism. I have something else I haven't beaten yet but this is the place to be for support and HONESTY. You won't always like what you hear but it helps to know that someone on this site will have always been in your shoes and understand exactly how you feel.
Kathleen
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Hey there Karin! Welcome to SR! Glad that you found us 
Please check out our other forums-and the stickies at the top of each forum.
There is a lot of support and a wealth of information on these boards-Keep posting
Please check out our other forums-and the stickies at the top of each forum.
There is a lot of support and a wealth of information on these boards-Keep posting
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 428
Welcome! I have found this site to be a lot of support. It is good that you are going to meetings. Have you spoke with your doctor about your current problems? Withdrawl is serious. There may be something he can suggest to help.
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