Hi, I'm new
Hello Everyone,
I am here because I was an accidental addict to Lorazepam (generic for Ativan) and was addicted after 10 weeks of use...After a 4 month taper (considered fast) I am benzo free as of Aug. 3 but still symptomatic...I have issues (anxiety and insomnia and some depression) but because of the inability to relax I started several mornings of having relatively small amounts of alcohol but discovered any amount during this process sends you to hell...
So I am here to get support to stay away...I only did 5 mornings straight then stopped a couple of days but then 2 more mornings...each time I felt bad, very bad,,but did it out of sheer desperation...
Had to pour the stuff out,,,but I believe I have learned my lesson...just want to make sure I stick to my resolve and know it certainly can't hurt to get support from others fighting this demon. There is a time at 5 am when anxiety is super bad, I'm alone and there is that temptation...so there can never be alcohol available...It is as though all reason goes completely out the window...because I know how sick even a little bit will make me when it reacts with the screwed up gaba receptors that are not recovered from the benzo use/withdrawal...Many people don't know just how serious benzo withdrawal is...it is even much worse than heroin or cocaine because it goes on for months.
I thought I used to drink responsibly before benzos but admit I was using alcohol some of the times to get through situations...which I must say is alcoholism,,,no room for anything less than honesty here...I also was trying everything under the sun to sleep and did use brandy at night to get to sleep also...it worked a little but then ofcourse you wake up...it doesn't solve anything and does not cure insomnia.
Well, guess that is it for now...Thanks for listening and look forward to talking to others...Appreciate this forum,,,and the format seems the same as the TRAP.UK site where I am a member due to my benzodiazepine withdrawal...
Love and hugs,
Karin