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newcommer, needs help

Old 09-12-2008, 10:14 PM
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Unhappy newcommer, needs help

Hello my name is Mike and I am new to all of this. I am a 22 year old man who has got involved with drinking and drugs at the age of 12. I feel like ever since then my life hasn't made any sense. I have tried to quit before and couldn't bring myself to stop, but seeing that so many of you are addicts like me, and you are also here because you want to give up makes me feel better knowing that im not alone. One of my problems is where I live, all of my friends pretty much everyone I know in this place is heavy into drugs and drinking.. it's all they ever want to do and the only reason we would hang out anyway is to go on a drinking binge and ruin ourselves with drugs. I have dropped that crowd and no longer am hanging out with the people in this place, if it means spending my days alone here to get away from drugs then thats what il do. Even now its a constant battle inside my head because a drug dealer is only 1 phone call away. I binged all this week up until today.. I was drunk and high everyday this week and today is my first day in a clean state of mind, no drugs and no liqour! If anybody would like to share there stories with me please feel free to, actually I am hoping to find some people here that I can talk with about the progress they are making and any tips would be helpfull to me.. When you feel like you just have to have it and youd do almost anything for it what do you do? The only support I have right now is my own willpower. I have also recently found god, and I feel that he will be with me through the hard times.
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:20 PM
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Life the gift of recovery!
 
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Welcome to SR, Mike. :ghug
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:36 PM
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Welcome to our international family! Lots of good ideas on staying clean and sober. Lots of experience to draw from. We have a common goal: to stay clean and sober. We help each other stay sober, and in so doing, help keep ourselves sober.

Welcome to the site!

:ghug3
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:38 PM
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Welcome Mikey :day4 God I wish I was able to be as mature as you are at 22, you came to the right place. There are a lot of good people here to help you through this.

This is your thread to tell your story, keep posting & people will come. Congratulations on your road to recovery ;-)

Come on over to the "Class of September" thread & be a part of our group, we are all going through this together.

Take Care
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Old 09-12-2008, 10:49 PM
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Hi Mike and welcome to SR. I'm still very new to this, too.
But I can reassure you that you are certainly not alone.

I admire your courage and determination. The steps you're
taking right now could possibly turn your life around and I'm
thrilled for you! :ghug3

Desperation led me to this forum. Last Sunday morning
I woke up around 6am after two hours of sleep. First thing
every morning I either wait for waves of relief to wash over
me because I didn't drink or waves of shame because I did.
I finally just had enough. I got out of bed, still a little drunk,
turned on my computer and googled AA. I spent all day reading
the Big Book and that's when my eyes where truly opened for the
first time. I eventually found this forum and I can't begin to
tell you how hopeful I feel.

I haven't gone to an AA meeting yet. Still trying to work up
the courage to go. But I'm so thankful that I didn't wait until
I hit my notion of rock bottom before I reached out for help.
I read somewhere you've hit rock bottom when you stop digging
so maybe I hit it after all.

Anyway, read through the threads here. It's amazing. We all
share so much and you can find great strength in that.

I haven't had a drink in two days now. I'm happy about that.
I have a long way to go I know but I think I can do it one day
at a time. So can you. And yes, God will absolutely see you
through this. It's a matter of letting Him, I think.

God bless you!
pg
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Old 09-12-2008, 11:05 PM
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Looking For Myself...Sober
 
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Welcome..I started when I was 12 too. Now I am 33 and only last year decided to try recovery. I have had a long a wasteful life til now. I really dont want to go into all the things that have happened or NOT happened behind my using. There is too many to get into anyway.
Just know it is possible. Very rarely alone tho. And the sooner the better.
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Old 09-12-2008, 11:25 PM
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Hi Mikey!! You will find a lot of support and advice here. These are the best people I've ever "met." Have you checked out any NA or AA meetings to see if that's something you feel comfortable with? If you have recently found God then it could really awaken your spiritual self and also add new sober friends into your life. I personally don't use it but I think everyone in recovery should at least try a few meetings. Many people find strength and comfort there. I wish you the best in your recovery, whatever options you choose for your path. Loooking forward to reading your posts.

Kathleen
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Old 09-12-2008, 11:49 PM
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Old 09-13-2008, 01:20 AM
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congradulations mike..youre growing..im 16mos and i feel great..my advice take it one day at a time.easy does it.find some support.look 4 n/a or a/a begginers meetings the groups are smaller.pray to you higher power.look at your life with honesty.change people,places and things.as for the drug dealers numbers..ask yourself do you really want to call someone thats trying to kill you??everytime you think of calling.thoughts like this and the peace it is to actually not have to lie,cheat,and steal to survive keep me clean.there is only one end to that life jails,institutions and death.its not really appealing 2 me anymore.im praying4u.:ghug3
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Old 09-13-2008, 01:54 AM
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My name is Rae, and I'm an addict.

I'm 20 years old (right now, I'll be 21 next month) and I've been clean for about eight and a half months.

I started using very young, a combination of pain medication and alcohol. I used for twelve years, so y'all can do the math there. I used to be numb, and to make it possible to ignore or avoid the fact that I was getting the sh*t kicked out of me by my dad. I will say that there's nothing quite so awful as sitting through recess and gym class so hungover you can't see straight. Needless to say, my grades weren't stellar.

I left home at sixteen- to escape the aforementioned parental unit- and was arrested a few months later, and offered the opportunity to go to a detox and rehab, rather than being tried as an adult and ending up in jail for possession. I was 'clean' if you want to call it that for two months, worked no program what-so-ever, and went right back to using the day I got was released. I can't even rightfully call that a relapse, because I had never lapsed in my addiction, just in the availability of drugs.

I stayed out, and under the radar of the police for a few more years. Under the radar also meant living on the street, stealing, and hustling, and doing a lot of things that I now have the good sense to be ashamed of, whatever it took to get by. I got paranoid, violent, put myself in a lot of dangerous situations. I was taken advantage of, and again- got the sh*t kicked out of me because I didn't have the presence of mind to stay out of areas where I was a target.

My thieving habit caught up with me, as did the police, about a year and a half ago, and I was sentenced to two years, up for parole in six months. I didn't know what else to do, so I used, and bribed or threatened people into passing drug tests for me. By the grace of a loving God, and a friend of mine on the outside, I was paroled, detoxed for a few weeks, and right back out as soon as I was up and around.

The friend who vouched for me and let me stay with her when I got out took to locking me out of the apartment when I was using. If I could stay clean, I could stay indoors. I spent two more months outside before waking up in an alley, in vomit which may or may not have been mine. I crawled my ass inside, begged to be let in, and figured maybe I would look into 'some counseling or something.'

I was very blessed to land in an Narcotics Anonymous room, where a man with (nearly) 25 years clean explained some of the basics of the program to me, and took the time to listen to me. I eventually branched out from the internet, and started going to meetings, and got a sponsor. I've been working the steps, and staying clean for eight months now. It has not been easy, but finding recovery, and the peace of mind that I have now, make me thankful for the rest of my life because that's what it took for me to get here.

That's a portion of my story. It works.
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Old 09-13-2008, 07:18 AM
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hey hey Mikey.. welcome to the SR family were glad your here , Its great having newcomers to our family kinda like a new baby so to speak ... anyways were glad your here , your not alone we all suffer from a addiction of one sorta or another .. check out the forums and chat room .. youll be amazed ! hope to see yah there ... :atv
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Old 09-13-2008, 08:01 AM
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Welcome Mickey! You've already taken one BIG step by coming here. SR people are a wonderful tool. My first week sober I sat at this computer every minute I was home and read and posted...keep talking we are here for you, stay on board!!
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Old 09-13-2008, 08:28 AM
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Hey, mikeyboy!

Welcome, glad you're up for the fight. We are all at war here on some level or another with that drive towards alcohol and drugs. I hope you'll feel as welcome here as I have. This is a great place to talk things out, express your joy or grief, ask for support and get ideas. Plus, it's open 24-7!

I'm a bit short on great suggestions today, but check the other threads here. You'll find plenty of people like you and I trying to make a good start and lots of good ideas from those who are making a success of sobriety.
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Old 09-13-2008, 08:31 AM
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You will find lots of great support here so I hope you will stick around!
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:15 PM
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So this is what day 2 feels like. Went out to eat tonight at a restaurant, of course there was beer on the menu and I was really tempted to order just 1... of course I know just 1 beer will turn into going home and pounding back a whole 12 pack which will only make my problem worse. On the other hand I feel good that I didn't drink today, and getting high never even really crossed my mind which is an improvement. I also dropped the bomb on my friends and let them know that I don't want to be around drinking and drugs anymore. I know I have already lost them as friends because its all they do and all they live for.. but hey I guess they arent true friends if all we can do is get high and drunk together, my only fear now is that I will be spendind my days alone. This is a drug town and its pretty pathetic to say this but I don't even know anybody that isnt heavy into drinking and drugs. I know times will only get worse before they get better, but I am taking this one day at a time. Thanks again to everyone for listening and being so supportive, I feel that this forum is going to help keep me on track.
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:31 PM
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Originally Posted by mikeyboy22 View Post
This is a drug town and its pretty pathetic to say this but I don't even know anybody that isnt heavy into drinking and drugs.
That's why I moved from my previous location to my present one.


Welcome to SR, mikey!
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:32 PM
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everything is already ok
 
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Welcome to SR Mikey, hope you make yourself right at home here
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:53 PM
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Hey Mikey,

I've been thinking about you today. I'm so glad to
hear you're on day 2! Separating yourself from
your friends has gotta be tough, but at the end of
the day it's a choice of survival.

Imagine the life you want then live each day like
you already have it. I know that may sound
overly simplistic but I'm gonna give it a shot!

pg
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Old 09-13-2008, 05:57 PM
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get it, give it, grow in it
 
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Can you ask your parents for financial assistance to go to inpatient rehab? If you've used since 12 don't think you can do this alone. Willpower has never been a cure for addiction.

My son is about your age (24) he is having success with addiction now that he is in long term rehab. I am happy to help him financially in order for him to stay there.
Addiction is progressive, predictable, cunning, and often fatal. Are you willing to go to any length to get sober? If you are, then you have a chance to have a life, have a future, figure out your dreams and go for them, etc.
Good luck to you.
Have you checked out mtgs. in your town? Reach out in a meeting and you will get support.
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Old 09-13-2008, 06:09 PM
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Hi Mikey,

Welcome!

It's great that you're seeking help and that you know it's going to be hard work. Try to not look too far ahead. You won't end up spending your time alone. There will be lots of things that will open up to you.
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