endzoner

awee.. Mizz Horsey .. dont let her win by consummin your every thougth . thats what she wants ..Shes not doing what you want . People are strange we know that what we see as unfit and unright isnt always how they see it , I agree that its not right to leave animals out in the cold enviroment. ive learned on the animal planet that as long as theres something over there head and food water , thats legal ( sad but legal ) another thing is that some dogs its best if there kept outside on a permentent basis stay outside because there body is used to it , when you bring them inside and out its confusses there body and this will make them colder then they are , Now rain is a diff subject of corse , but when temps reach 20* they say its best to place them in a garage where its warmer but still cold so it dont confuse them . I dont know if this mite help you accept whats going on a lil bit better or not , but know this you dont gotta drink over it hun you come a long ways to let her ruin what youve worked so hard for . Keep posting and venting here We adore you! Love the newly married Mrs O:ghug3

NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

Horselover,

Thank you for this post tonight. I was all wrapped up tightly in myself and my problems, and by you posting this, I realize what I need to do too!

xo

vegibean

I agree with NOMERLOT and actually came back to this post because I wanted to share my thoughts. I can't make anyone do what I want them to do. What other people do, what goes on in this world is out of my control. I need to keep the focus on ME!!!!! That's the only person I'm responsible for. If I was in the middle of what other people were doing I'd be very unhappy. I have my moments but I get myself right back on track. Kind of like "what other people say about me is none of my business?" Know what I mean? Someone can say what they want about me, it's me that chooses how I react to it.

Horselover

Okay now you're giving me more to worry about. LOL! I need to read up on the Acceptance thing some more because when it turns ugly outside I turn ugly on the inside because of this and get this - this is coming from the girl who loved to watch thunderstorms roll in. I need to change and I need to change now. I do have control issues, ya think? i know that is something I need to work on and I know I need to have some serious one on one with the Big Guy so I can understand. Maybe if I meditate . . . well, maybe not.

Thank you so much for making me see another color other then red tonight. I really did feel like wine was my answer and I am beginning to think it won't help and I will feel guilty as Hell if I do that. I almost 4 months damn it!!! Really am frustrated, but its wearing off a bit.

reginaterrae

Something that helped me A LOT when I first came in (and still does, but it's more internalized now): he/she/it (the dogs) "has a Higher Power, too, and I'm not it!" All you can do is do the next right thing, then Turn It Over.

Now close your eyes and say the Serenity Prayer 3 times.

Horselover

Okay! I really like that!! Are you sure I'm not their Higher Power?? Saying the serenity prayer now.

bostonluv

Hi Horselover,

I didn't read through all the posts but I read yours and several others. I understand being eaten alive inside by people who neglect and/or abuse animals. they are so helpless and innocent. They have no voice except for us.

It makes me very sad/angry also.

You've done everything you can for now. I think documenting via notebook the temp. outside, the condition of the animals would be very helpful - still there's no guarenty that there is anything anyone can do. She obviously just wants to meet the bare minimum requirements. Why own them in the first place? I've never understood that mentality.

As far as the woman knowing you're an alcoholic and possibly passing that on to the animal control folks - F 'em. Pardon me everyone. But seriously. That's exactly the kind of stuff that you must find a way to let go of. You know you're a resonable person now and dwelling on it will just drive you nuts. You have a big heart. I admire the efforts you have taken to get these animals some warm shelter. It's sad that people would own animals just to leave them outside. I don't get it.

Love,
Kathleen

colagirl

Horselover,
I totally understand how you feel. I can't so much as glance at news stories about abused animals, and if one comes on TV before I can change the channel I literally cover my ears and run from the room. I have more sympathy for animals than people, sometimes, because they are so helpless.

I can completely understand why you're so frustrated, but think about how hard you've worked at your sobriety. You started here about the same time as me, and I've stopped and started several times while you're still going strong. I'd hate for you to lose that, and so would you! I know you want to block it out, but maybe if you just let yourself feel it now, it will get easier and easier for you to handle.

Hevyn

I'd be feeling just like you are, Horselover. I'd try to let it go, but I'd be peering out the window, obsessed with the situation too. There is great advice on here for letting go of what we can't control, but I too find it almost impossible. Yet one thing I do know, when I've caved in and had a drink in times like this I've regretted it hugely. One awful problem becomes two. Nothing is made better when we drink to try & smother our emotions. All the crap is still there when we get sober, plus now we feel like hell because we drank. I'll be praying tonight for a solution to this mess. Sending love.

Aysha

I know it sucks. But Momma pretty much put it down. Dont get much clearer than that.

Horselover

Sorry Chiy - not clear to me?

Dee74

Momma = NOMOMERLOTMAMMA

D

littlefish

Hi Horselover:
Have you tried the SPCA? Animal Control and the ASPCA are two different things. Animal control seems to not do too much in the way of prevention or policing.
the SPCA is more involved with cruelty cases.
I found this number for New Mexico SPCA on the internet: 505 275-SPCA (7722

Keep in mind they usually have to give warnings first and wait for compliance. It is unusual they will sieze pets the first time without a police officer present and a warrent.
Sometimes a judge has to make a court ruling.
(Yeah, I watch "Animal Cops" on Animal Planet a lot.......)

Good luck, and maybe you should see coping with this neighbor problem the way you are coping with your recovery (?):
It may take time, you might need to make a plan. It will probably be a challenging journey of small steps. You might experience some setbacks, but also make some interesting discoveries along the way. You might have to change your strategy!
Good luck!

SoosieQ

Hi HL-There are many good tips and wise words here, so I will keep it simple: my thoughts are with you and the dogs next door. Things don't always work out when and how we'd like them to, but your attention to this matter will make a difference in one way or another. I know that my cat appreciates me much more when I am sober rather than drunk, hungover and miserable; I couldn't do much for him while I was living in that hell. Glad you chose SR rather than wine.

Horselover

Thank you for the clarification Dee. I stared at that statement knowing it should make sense because it came from Chiy, but at 1 am in the morning the mind was foggy.

Littlefish you are very wise and yes, when you return to this area to visit family and/or friends PLEASE look me up. Thanks for the PM also.

SoosieQ thank you for responding on the forum and pming me. Is that a word "pming?" Don't think so. I agree I'm better off not drinking, but my first response was fight - didn't work. Second response was move - husband not all into that. That's my flight response. Third response when all else fails - drink. Didn't do it ONLY because of the help I received here.

I have had maybe 2 serious close calls in the past 4 months and this qualifies as the biggest. Animals and kids are my weakness and I am sure you can guess why. Elderly rate right up there too! Its now morning and the only headache I have today is a sinus one and I would rather have that then a hangover any day! I would have felt terribly upset with myself had I given up my sobriety. Thanks again for being there for me. I know this isn't over though.

Dee74

No problem HL - I only stepped in cos I thought Chiy would be asleep

I'm glad you didn't drink - drinking would be like punishing yourself because you love dogs too much...and that's just not logical, is it? LOL

D

Rella927

Horse a lot of great support above

First please do not allow this to sabotage your progress-drinking is only
going to create more chaos that you have put behind you.

I'm a HUGE animal lover and I agree with "Keep calling animal control, take pictures etc.." to me that is not getting involved in their business but rather helping the welfare
of a poor defenseless animal.

I had an old neighbor that did the same thing left their poor dog out with no SHELTER-I kept calling and calling and calling this dog would get loose and run in the busy street to go greet people because it was not played with or anything-just tied to a tree! When the animal control came and came again- they stated that as long as the dog had water it was fine and they were not violating anything! HOG WASH!

I kept calling and calling and finally-the people realized that they needed to start doing something and the dog was let in, played with and does not seem to get loose anymore.

I know how heart wrenching it is and we want to save them all- but unfortunate we cannot. Sabotaging our lives when we/you have worked so hard is something that you have to keep in mind too. Do what you can from a distance without getting to involved and turn the dogs over to God for protection.

Keep your strength going for your recovery!

Horselover

Working so hard on the turning it over to God part. That's what I struggle with and I think he knows that. I like things done on my time, but then there's God time. He made me and so I hope he understands and helps me with this struggle.

As far as taking pictures - you bet I will! I wish I had something to take them with at night because she "claimed" she brings them in at night and I know for a fact, they are left outside because when I am my insomniac self I can see them. With the moon so bright at night there easy to see. She took the officer in to her house and showed her the dog beds they sleep on and that's the killer part. How do I prove they are not in the house? The other thing is the officer told me it doesn't matter if they are or aren't if there's adequate shelter in the backyard and that's where my opinion differs with New Mexico law. I don't think . . . well, whatever! Getting worked up again and that's not good. I will take the advice of all and especially Nomoremerlotmama and try the acceptance thing. That will be new for this kid, but I will give it my best effort.

least

Do give the SPCA a call. They may have more pull than Animal Control. Pray for those poor dogs. I have the same problem when walking my dogs. So many dogs live in the backyard on chains 24/7/365. Check out the website Dogs Deserve Better.org It's about ending the abuse of keeping dogs outside like backyard furniture.

Don't drink over this, please. You may yet be able to help those dogs but drinking will only hurt you and impede your efforts to help the dogs.

lots of love and hugs!

:ghug3

Aysha

Sry HL..Shoulda been more clear.. LOL...
Its so hard when we are dealing with innocent helpless things.
Dogs are so loving and forgiving. But I have to believe that what goes around comes around in due time.