My boyfriend just left
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
My boyfriend just left
Nothing about me being drunk. Nothing about how much I've been sober these last three weeks. Just left. Alcohol has never been an issue .
The only thing I can think is that I'm just not attractive enough to hang around for.
The only thing I can think is that I'm just not attractive enough to hang around for.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I'm sorry FD...I can't count the number of times bad things happen to people in early recovery...it's lousy timing.
Things like these rock us and make us question our worth, but you have lots of friends who support you. Lean on us here
I know you know drinking won't help - keep hold of that wish to be sober and live a full life - don't let despair rule you.
I'm sorry
D
Things like these rock us and make us question our worth, but you have lots of friends who support you. Lean on us here
I know you know drinking won't help - keep hold of that wish to be sober and live a full life - don't let despair rule you.
I'm sorry
D
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Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2008
Posts: 482
Noone is supporting me here. I have trouble staying sober. And instead of people undertandling that, I got told that that I wasn't addicted enough to be an addict. I dot told that I should just get over it.
Yay for me, not addicted enough.
Yay for me, not addicted enough.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,445
I don't know anything about your personal life FD, but I know there's a ton of support here.
That's what I meant anyway
I don't think anyone comes to a forum like this if they don't have some kind of problem, y'know?
D
That's what I meant anyway
I don't think anyone comes to a forum like this if they don't have some kind of problem, y'know?
D
Awaiting Email Confirmation
Join Date: Jun 2008
Posts: 2,942
The only thing I can think is that I'm just not attractive enough to hang around for.
I seriously doubt that.
You're in a bad place right now, you feel 'less than', your disease will try to make you feel very low.
Hold your head up, do some deep breathing and realize that you have 100% of the rest of your new life in front of you.
Keep coming back.
I seriously doubt that.
You're in a bad place right now, you feel 'less than', your disease will try to make you feel very low.
Hold your head up, do some deep breathing and realize that you have 100% of the rest of your new life in front of you.
Keep coming back.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
FD - It can be hard to feel the support when we are hurting. But I am here for you. I have to go to work, so I can't stay long, but I will be thinking of you. I too struggle with sobriety at times. It happends. Why he left may not be important right now....how you feel and how you deal with it is. Can you make a list of all the things you like about yourself? Maybe your friends here could help you with it!
You are definately strong to come here and state what's going on and ask for help!
You are definately strong to come here and state what's going on and ask for help!
I'm just a little unwell
Join Date: Aug 2008
Location: USA
Posts: 2,219
Aw, honey, I'm sorry. 
And I'm sorry if you've felt like you can't or don't get support here. I will do whatever I can to help change that perception. SR has been such a huge help for me... such a RELIEF to find out I'm not alone... I have trouble staying sober, too. I'll talk to you whenever you want.
And I'm sorry if you've felt like you can't or don't get support here. I will do whatever I can to help change that perception. SR has been such a huge help for me... such a RELIEF to find out I'm not alone... I have trouble staying sober, too. I'll talk to you whenever you want.
not a greeter
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: padmasana
Posts: 13,927
ForeverDecember, I know it hurts right now but I am sure it has less to you with you and more to do with him. Keep moving forward... 3 weeks is an excellent start to a better way of life. Do not let this set you back by drinking over it. As Dee pointed out... there's plenty of support here at SR. I can't tell you how many times being able to come here and read & post has helped me.
Member
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: Northern CA
Posts: 1,733
What we need to do now is focus on a way to get you "addicted" enough to come here and talk. Otherwise, I'm afriad you'll have to go.
I'm just teasing...just wanted to make you laugh. We care about you and support you. I'm sorry he left. Maybe he left because you were too good for him?
He's a jerk. Come back and post and try to stay sober with us...............
I'm just teasing...just wanted to make you laugh. We care about you and support you. I'm sorry he left. Maybe he left because you were too good for him?
He's a jerk. Come back and post and try to stay sober with us...............
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,513
Hi Forever December,
I hope you're feeling a bit better now.
I think many people get negative feedback from friends and family members when they say that they are stopping drinking. Just remember that the comments are about them. They are not about you. You know you want to be sober and there is lots of support here.
I hope you're feeling a bit better now.
I think many people get negative feedback from friends and family members when they say that they are stopping drinking. Just remember that the comments are about them. They are not about you. You know you want to be sober and there is lots of support here.
Life is Grand
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: Michigan
Posts: 2,040
I am so sorry, I went through the same thing a few months ago. I was crushed, I thought I would never get over it, but here I am, alive and sober...still confused and hurt, but alive and sober......you can do it. Cathy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
It seems that many or most of us women in recovery lose our b/f in early recovery.
I can remember that just about all the women that have come here since I've been coming around (6 month) have had a breakup happen in the first couple of months of recovery. Some of us, me included, our b/f couldn't handle the changes from my recovery. Suddenly I had a little confidence, some friends, meetings to go to, and he couldn't stand it. I was no longer available to sit with while he got drunk every night.
And I wouldn't let him bring drugs or be high around me, so he had to lie all the time. And he was worried I was gonna meet someone in NA. He even started saying "Have fun at your Cheating, um I meant Meeting!" Haha. So anyway, it isn't that you aren't attractive, for sure. It could be that you have a little bit of self-esteem and you're a bit harder to boss around??? If that's the reason (and I might be wrong, don't mind me) then it'll be better without him. One day I have no doubt but that we'll both find men who love and understand us and respect what we're doing in recovery. Until then, hang out with us single gals. We love you.
And people (including my b/f) tried to tell me that, too, that I wasn't an addict, 'cause my DOC was prescription pills, and I still had all my stuff (job, car, kids) when I came to NA. I don't buy it. People who aren't addicts don't spend time on recovery sites and NA meetings. You've earned your seat just as surely as any homeless crack head on the street out there has, my sponsor tells me. Your Bottom is when you stopped digging. It's a good thing to stop digging before you lose everything. Be proud of how you had your moment of clarity so early in your addiction. Love from:
KJ
I can remember that just about all the women that have come here since I've been coming around (6 month) have had a breakup happen in the first couple of months of recovery. Some of us, me included, our b/f couldn't handle the changes from my recovery. Suddenly I had a little confidence, some friends, meetings to go to, and he couldn't stand it. I was no longer available to sit with while he got drunk every night.
And I wouldn't let him bring drugs or be high around me, so he had to lie all the time. And he was worried I was gonna meet someone in NA. He even started saying "Have fun at your Cheating, um I meant Meeting!" Haha. So anyway, it isn't that you aren't attractive, for sure. It could be that you have a little bit of self-esteem and you're a bit harder to boss around??? If that's the reason (and I might be wrong, don't mind me) then it'll be better without him. One day I have no doubt but that we'll both find men who love and understand us and respect what we're doing in recovery. Until then, hang out with us single gals. We love you.
And people (including my b/f) tried to tell me that, too, that I wasn't an addict, 'cause my DOC was prescription pills, and I still had all my stuff (job, car, kids) when I came to NA. I don't buy it. People who aren't addicts don't spend time on recovery sites and NA meetings. You've earned your seat just as surely as any homeless crack head on the street out there has, my sponsor tells me. Your Bottom is when you stopped digging. It's a good thing to stop digging before you lose everything. Be proud of how you had your moment of clarity so early in your addiction. Love from:
KJ
letting God take the wheel...
Join Date: Jul 2008
Location: Home is where the heart is-Colorado and Oregon
Posts: 100
Hi Forever, Havent read your posts in a bit but this one made me so sad... You have support here always and I wish I could give you a huge hug. Its so hard girl, and we have all felt ugly at some time or another and usually I feel really gross when I am drinking or thinking about giving up...The fact that your boyfriend left, regardless of the reason..will surely leave the tase of rejection in your mouth but please dear dont belive for one second its really because your not attractive ....your so beautiful and courageous to fight this battle with Alchohol...stay strong..keep posting. we love you
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