Bottoms Part 77
Member
Join Date: Dec 2003
Posts: 12,136
Good morning peeps/idiots. Busy day at the orifice. Only now sitting down with a coffee.
Extra support and hugs going out to Jules - don't beat yourself up for not getting 'it' - but remember, and this is said with love... you need to take action. Trying to will this disease into submission using willpower alone is unlikely to garner any results. I love this thread and have lots of fun here - but fun won't get me sober, either. I try to keep a balance between work and play, and try not to hide in/on one thread.
Again, this isn't judgement, it's about what worked for me. If what I were doing wasn't working, I would try doing something different. I've learned that this disease wants me dead, and it's claimed so many lives already.
I love you guys.
Extra support and hugs going out to Jules - don't beat yourself up for not getting 'it' - but remember, and this is said with love... you need to take action. Trying to will this disease into submission using willpower alone is unlikely to garner any results. I love this thread and have lots of fun here - but fun won't get me sober, either. I try to keep a balance between work and play, and try not to hide in/on one thread.
Again, this isn't judgement, it's about what worked for me. If what I were doing wasn't working, I would try doing something different. I've learned that this disease wants me dead, and it's claimed so many lives already.
I love you guys.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
Well.....rescheduled my hair and back massage, the plummer got my water heater back on line, the phone company is coming tomarrow, mom is pissed and coming on Friday (and i'm leaving her and my son to go to a barbaque...let them get the anger stuff over with)
So now I will call a cab and get to work....I'm actually feeling incouraged cause i'm getting so much taken care of. Oh yeah...scheduled my surgery for September 19th...so just moving along at quite a clip
:atv
So now I will call a cab and get to work....I'm actually feeling incouraged cause i'm getting so much taken care of. Oh yeah...scheduled my surgery for September 19th...so just moving along at quite a clip
:atv
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Originally Posted by parentrecovers 
thanks for choosing me as a contestant, rk. i am honored.
How is everybody today?
Jules, sorry you've been struggling. Please don't beat yourself up over it too much, guess you could look at this as you've learned something new, even if it's the same old lesson all over again - that drinking makes you feel bad.
RK's equation of alcophysics:-
Drink + Jules <> Happiness.
Jules > Drink.
Drink < Jules.
Happiness = Jules - Drink.
Please let us all know how you're doing.
Tan, blocked noses are a pain. And the make people talk all funny. Glad they don't make us type funny too.
Wooli
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sheffield, England
Posts: 433
Hi all. I was going to put this on the depression thread, but you are ace so meh.
I can't even manufacture happiness at the moment. I look at moments in my life that should make me happy and I feel nothing. It's like a vast void where my happiness should be. And as for my anxiety, that is off the scale at the moment. I am taking meds and have had these chopped and changed but nothing really seems to change. I am hoping that through a mixture of meds, diet, counselling, exercise and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, that things may start to change.
It is really annoying me now as I didn't feel like this when I drank and I sometimes think is it worth the hassle. But then I am glad I have stopped because of my health and my family.
Things just seem to keep piling up at the moment and everytime I start to be positive, some other **** comes up and brings me down.
Sorry for bringing the thread down, I needed to vent.
I can't even manufacture happiness at the moment. I look at moments in my life that should make me happy and I feel nothing. It's like a vast void where my happiness should be. And as for my anxiety, that is off the scale at the moment. I am taking meds and have had these chopped and changed but nothing really seems to change. I am hoping that through a mixture of meds, diet, counselling, exercise and Cognitive Behaviour Therapy, that things may start to change.
It is really annoying me now as I didn't feel like this when I drank and I sometimes think is it worth the hassle. But then I am glad I have stopped because of my health and my family.
Things just seem to keep piling up at the moment and everytime I start to be positive, some other **** comes up and brings me down.
Sorry for bringing the thread down, I needed to vent.
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,067
Originally Posted by Jules62
I'm sorry.I could've lied-not said anything-pretended to be okay?But I can't.I'm trying so damn hard and it just baffles me how I just can't seem to get it.
I look at all of you-you seem so settled-and I'm so not.I can't type for tears.I just wanted to be honest.
I'm so sorry.
I look at all of you-you seem so settled-and I'm so not.I can't type for tears.I just wanted to be honest.
I'm so sorry.
Settled?
Astro = Chicken with it's head cut off! 
But I've gotta admit that AA and SR help me to stay calm and peaceful!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,067
Originally Posted by Rowan
but remember, and this is said with love... you need to take action. Trying to will this disease into submission using willpower alone is unlikely to garner any results. I love this thread and have lots of fun here - but fun won't get me sober, either. I try to keep a balance between work and play, and try not to hide in/on one thread.
Again, this isn't judgement, it's about what worked for me. If what I were doing wasn't working, I would try doing something different. I've learned that this disease wants me dead, and it's claimed so many lives already.
Again, this isn't judgement, it's about what worked for me. If what I were doing wasn't working, I would try doing something different. I've learned that this disease wants me dead, and it's claimed so many lives already.
Member
Join Date: Nov 2007
Posts: 26,425
AWWWW wooolie! It can be rough...been there alot myself. You are doing the things you need to do...it just takes time for things to get better. And checking in at the bottoms has been a lifesafer for me. Everyone here is honest about thier feelings and also able to joke. I have found that even when things are at their worst, humor will get me through.
And sometimes that is a very BLACK humor that others find wierd...but you start where you are.
Post anywhere you want...get all the help you can...your honesty is a big asset!:ghug3
ooooops droped you!
And sometimes that is a very BLACK humor that others find wierd...but you start where you are.
Post anywhere you want...get all the help you can...your honesty is a big asset!:ghug3
ooooops droped you!
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,067
Well Tom, you probably know by now that I'm an AA guy so this is what it says in the Big Book and I tend to agree....
Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things. There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements.
Happiness isn't there all the time for me, I still have moments of extreme discontent. But the longer I'm in recovery the more I have faith in the fact that "this too shall pass", and by God it always does.
Here are thousands of men and women, worldly indeed. They flatly declare that since they have come to believe in a Power greater than themselves, to take a certain attitude toward that Power, and to do certain simple things. There has been a revolutionary change in their way of living and thinking. In the face of collapse and despair, in the face of the total failure of their human resources, they found that a new power, peace, happiness, and sense of direction flowed into them. This happened soon after they wholeheartedly met a few simple requirements.
Happiness isn't there all the time for me, I still have moments of extreme discontent. But the longer I'm in recovery the more I have faith in the fact that "this too shall pass", and by God it always does.
Wooli
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sheffield, England
Posts: 433
Yeah, you are right, I know. It's just the void that I have at the moment in my emotional and mental state.
I do love this thread, it makes me chuckle at the most unexpected times.
I just need to vent and as I only speak to my councillor once a week, I can do it better with the best councillors in the world, the bottom dwellers.
Being dropped hurts though
I do love this thread, it makes me chuckle at the most unexpected times.
I just need to vent and as I only speak to my councillor once a week, I can do it better with the best councillors in the world, the bottom dwellers.
Being dropped hurts though
CindeRella is proof that a new pair of shoes can change your life!
Join Date: Aug 2004
Location: Spreading my wings
Posts: 7,163
Hey Grumpy Pants! 
(Pssst your pick did not come out)
Ok back from Florida .....
Jules sweetness the others have said it better than I could-
Keep your head held high sweetness you are doing fine-beating
yourself up is not what you should be doing! Pat yourself on the
back for being AWARE and wanting to CHANGE!
you
can and will do this my friend!
(Pssst your pick did not come out)Ok back from Florida .....
Jules sweetness the others have said it better than I could-
Keep your head held high sweetness you are doing fine-beating
yourself up is not what you should be doing! Pat yourself on the
back for being AWARE and wanting to CHANGE!
you can and will do this my friend!
(Stoney?)
Wooli
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Sheffield, England
Posts: 433
I worry sometimes about not finding God and am jealous of those who have sometimes. It's hard as someone who has been at best agnostic to buy into the higher power and God side of the Steps (I know, I know it's as you understand him). I do accept that there must be something that is looking out for me, as if I hadn't had hit my lowest 2 weeks ago I would never have found this place and then in turn had the bottle to go to AA.
I need to get me a sponsor sorted at AA (although I was heartened that one of the guys texted me today as I have only been to one meeting this week and he was worried about me) and also need to work through the steps.
I need to get me a sponsor sorted at AA (although I was heartened that one of the guys texted me today as I have only been to one meeting this week and he was worried about me) and also need to work through the steps.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
