Does it even matter anymore?
Forum Leader
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Scottsdale, AZ, one big happy dysfunctional family!
Posts: 23,056
Originally Posted by chiynita 
I hope one day I can see what you all see.
Glad to hear you're going for treatment. I know we'll be praying and thinking about you every day.
Follow Directions!
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Fredericksburg, Va.
Posts: 9,730
Hon I pray that you are going to do the inpatiant and then long term rehab. I pray this is your bottom!
When you start talking dealers and the like many times the option of finding your own bottom is removed by a dealer making your bottom 6 foot under and there is no recovery in this life from that.
You have lost nothing, you have given it away.
When you start talking dealers and the like many times the option of finding your own bottom is removed by a dealer making your bottom 6 foot under and there is no recovery in this life from that.
You have lost nothing, you have given it away.
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Dallas, TX
Posts: 300
I am so scared for you right now. Of course you don't see the point at this moment, because you have been putting harmful stuff in your brain. But you cared enough to post. Please take your grams advice. Please go to inpatient, please get better. :praying
Of course as usual I am a little behind, very glad to hear you are going to treatment tomorrow CHY please keep us posted, there's lots of love here for you.
Of course as usual I am a little behind, very glad to hear you are going to treatment tomorrow CHY please keep us posted, there's lots of love here for you.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2007
Location: MA.
Posts: 1,719
Originally Posted by Tazman53
Hon I pray that you are going to do the inpatiant and then long term rehab. I pray this is your bottom!
When you start talking dealers and the like many times the option of finding your own bottom is removed by a dealer making your bottom 6 foot under and there is no recovery in this life from that.
When you start talking dealers and the like many times the option of finding your own bottom is removed by a dealer making your bottom 6 foot under and there is no recovery in this life from that.
Chiy,
I was thinking the same thing about bottoms...I pray you find recovery and don~t have to suffer anymore...:ghug
Its_me_jen
Join Date: May 2004
Location: Salina, Ks
Posts: 8,547
You are so worth this and you deserve it.
Be selfish. Love yourself. Be healthy. Live life.
The road may be a bumpy one but it is worth
it in the end. You may not know it but inside
you care about you, you just need to learn
to LOVE you. It is so possible. I know you'll
do well.
You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Right now, this IS all about YOU.
Please keep in touch if it's possible.
I'm sending strength and courage your way.
Be selfish. Love yourself. Be healthy. Live life.
The road may be a bumpy one but it is worth
it in the end. You may not know it but inside
you care about you, you just need to learn
to LOVE you. It is so possible. I know you'll
do well.
You deserve all the happiness in the world.
Right now, this IS all about YOU.
Please keep in touch if it's possible.
I'm sending strength and courage your way.
Member
Join Date: May 2008
Posts: 428
Chiy- I haven't been on here long, but I have been moved by many of your posts and the support you have shown others.
Reading thru this thread I am moved by the out pouring of support. You have sooo many people that care for you and that you have touched here. And you have your Gram there. She sounds like a wonderful lady.
Good luck with your treatment!
Reading thru this thread I am moved by the out pouring of support. You have sooo many people that care for you and that you have touched here. And you have your Gram there. She sounds like a wonderful lady.
Good luck with your treatment!
don't give up the fight. We all love you here on SR. Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: md
Posts: 3,042
Chiy,
In your responses to others who suffer, you are always so kind and generous and loving. Be that same friend to yourself. Don't let this take you down. You haven't come this far to let it all go. You have a beautiful spirit and we need you in the world!!! You are God's child and he and all the angels are crying to see what you are doing to your body and mind and soul. I made up a prayer for you:
Lord Jesus, be with Chiynita as she struggles with this terrible disease. See her through treatment and beyond so she may recover to be your faithful servant here on earth. May she see that she is loved and that she is a priceless, beautiful spirit. May she know your kindness and walk more closely with you even as she suffers today.
KJ
In your responses to others who suffer, you are always so kind and generous and loving. Be that same friend to yourself. Don't let this take you down. You haven't come this far to let it all go. You have a beautiful spirit and we need you in the world!!! You are God's child and he and all the angels are crying to see what you are doing to your body and mind and soul. I made up a prayer for you:
Lord Jesus, be with Chiynita as she struggles with this terrible disease. See her through treatment and beyond so she may recover to be your faithful servant here on earth. May she see that she is loved and that she is a priceless, beautiful spirit. May she know your kindness and walk more closely with you even as she suffers today.
KJ
"Welcome To The Future..."
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: WV
Posts: 224
ATrish,
Please do the right thing. Don't let the Devil win!!! There is help out there and you shouldn't tempt fate any longer. You know what I mean don't you???? You've been fortunate so far and have come so close to death before. Don't let it win!!!!
Just the other day, I was telling my mom that I couldn't imagine why I didn't die when I was taking soooo many pills at one time. Lesser amounts have killed others. You know what she said to me??
"God must have a special plan for you."
That one statement shocked some hard truth into me fast. And I would like to say the same thing to you: "Trish, God DOES have a plan for you!" Otherwise you wouldn't have made it this far.
We've had so many chats, many that have made me laugh, cry, and realize important things about myself. You are a TREASURE to me and I pray you will realize that you are a TREASURE to yourself and your family!
I have to share something very important with you. Of course you know how I feel about the supernatural and how my dreams often bring me messages. I had been gone several days, and when I came back yesterday I found out this news that you have been in a bad way. Last night I had a dream Trish. It was quite simple. In the dream, I saw a red car driving away, the license plate read "Chiynita". Please don't drive away Trish, drive toward help, toward us, toward God. We'll be here for you through it all! Go to rehab and get well. We will still be here waiting with open arms when you come back to us!
I Love You!!!!
butterfly19 (SP)
:praying
p.s.: I'm lighting this candle for you now. I ask everyone who loves Trish to do the same and pray that she will get the help she deserves!
Member
Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 213
Hey Chiynita: I know how you feel
Hey Chi...Rob ( robzoloft) here. I KNOW how you feel. Broken, defeated, shame,guilt,remorse,bewilderment, resentment, anger,fear.....I KNOW. I'm right beside you struggling....hanging on to the same slim thread of hope. My last run was 16 days and I managed to destroy almost everything of value and love I had left....homeless, withdrawing, criminal activity, violence....betrayed trust of family and friends...I KNOW. But I'm back...2 weeks today.....I'm in a treatment center...I need to be...on Antabuse, among other things....taking suggestions and living literally minute by minute...and it HURTS and I'm full of hate and rage and want to crawl and tear through my skin....I can't sleep...no appetite....wanting to give in and take it to the bitter end....but I'm not. I stay sober a breath at a time...WITH HELP. I cannot do it alone or even with freedom...I need to be confined right now...and I hate it. But today, just today, I want to live and be sober a fraction more than I want to die and be in oblivion...tomorrow doen't exist...just this moment typing to you...just these breaths as I write this. You can beat this....just while you're reading this post...don't use. GET HELP. Love yourself just enough to have a moment of clarity and do it..act as if failure were not an option....prayers. ROB
Member
Join Date: Jun 2008
Location: Scottsdale, AZ
Posts: 201
Originally Posted by chiynita
But I do know what I should do.
Saturday I am going to treatment and am going to follow through all the way til the end. I hope one day I can see what you all see.
Saturday I am going to treatment and am going to follow through all the way til the end. I hope one day I can see what you all see.
The great value, deep inside you!
We are all here for you!
:ghug
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Trish your one of the people that I love very much. As usual grams is right, take her advice and see this for what it is part of your journey, rather than failure.
Talk to us (((((((Trish))))))
Kevin
Talk to us (((((((Trish))))))
Kevin
Guest
Join Date: May 2008
Location: Michigan
Posts: 321
All I can say after reading all of this is "DITTO for me!"
Go get help! You're here for a reason! God DOES have a special plan for you, or you would not have made it to today!
I look forward to hearing great things about you and from you!
Honu
Go get help! You're here for a reason! God DOES have a special plan for you, or you would not have made it to today!
I look forward to hearing great things about you and from you!
Honu
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Chy..I missed this thread somehow....
I hope you did make it to a hospital. You can't do this alone.
You are too precious a child to God and to us to not make it.
Someone told me that two years ago..
The only reason I am here.
Love and prayers,
Sherry
I hope you did make it to a hospital. You can't do this alone.
You are too precious a child to God and to us to not make it.
Someone told me that two years ago..
The only reason I am here.
Love and prayers,
Sherry
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
Well Trish, as I write this, it's Sat. night and I sure hope you went to treatment today.
I had to hit a bottom that suicide seemed the only way out of. I hope you understand when I say that I hope to God you are hurting as bad as I was back in July of '05.
There isn't much I can say that hasn't already been said, however I do want to add that I know before, on I believe your last thread, you were concerned about losing your job, car . . . I believe that God is doing for you what you could not do for youself.
And I have no doubt that God will take care of Grams while you are in treatment and sober living. . . . until you can come home to take care of her.
My Mom always was taking care of me . . . now I'm taking care of her.
God be with you Hon, I love you,
Judy
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