question for all you that have recovered
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 5
question for all you that have recovered
new to this. haven't really been a super heavy drinker. Lets just say a functioning alcholic. You can read in my other post about my drinking habbits. I'm only on my 2nd day of saying "no" to the old habbit. I've got a burning question that I'd love to hear from you all. My fear is that I go through all this and my life still won't get better. See, right now, I'm surviving, getting by, but by NO means reaching my potential. Not really getting worse, but not making any steps to be a real "sucess" if you know what I mean. Have the majority of your all that have recovered for quite some time realized a greater life since you've changed your ways?? I know I'm better off health wise not drinking, but I'm gonna be pissed if I do all this and I'm still just a 38 year old that doesn't know what he's doing with his life. I'm just banking on the fact that I've not been doing much with my life because when I go home I want to start drinking or smoking pot to numb out the day. Hoping that if I stop this action, somehow, over time I'll start doing something worthwhile or start having ambition with my life. I'm dying to be passionate about something. People all around me seem to have desires and goals, etc etc and I want in on that action. Anyway, if some of you cound chime in and tell me your experiences I'd sure appreciate it. It would just be one more incentive to keep up the quitting. Much appreciated!
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Omak WA
Posts: 1,049
Does Staying Sober lead to a promising future...
Hi timitsoo,
All I can speak for is myself and it sure has. I have been sober 19 years now from a daily drinker...the first year I attended AA everyday and the second year my goal was to return to college to get my BA Degree in Psychology.
I worked half time and went to college classes late afternoon...early evening. I graduated with being on the Deans's list every semester. I got a good job with the County Mental Health Agency and worked there until I retired at age 60 due to issues with a supervisor and my depression.
I had one teen at home when I did this and she and I managed okay...she had recently been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes and was part of my hitting my bottom and knew I had to do something with me before I could help her.
As well as being in Recovery for 19 years, I have help for my depression and take meds for it as well. My life is stable now and I seem to manage to get through some hard times without falling apart.
I was very determined to get sober and stay sober...wanted this more than anything else in my life. I was 50 years old when I started my new career and am very proud of myself...as is my family.
If this is what you want...to be sober...you are on the right track by coming here to Sober Recover. There is a lot of support and help here.
Keep coming back...read...post...say Hi & how you are doing.
Kelsh
All I can speak for is myself and it sure has. I have been sober 19 years now from a daily drinker...the first year I attended AA everyday and the second year my goal was to return to college to get my BA Degree in Psychology.
I worked half time and went to college classes late afternoon...early evening. I graduated with being on the Deans's list every semester. I got a good job with the County Mental Health Agency and worked there until I retired at age 60 due to issues with a supervisor and my depression.
I had one teen at home when I did this and she and I managed okay...she had recently been diagnosed with Juvenile Diabetes and was part of my hitting my bottom and knew I had to do something with me before I could help her.
As well as being in Recovery for 19 years, I have help for my depression and take meds for it as well. My life is stable now and I seem to manage to get through some hard times without falling apart.
I was very determined to get sober and stay sober...wanted this more than anything else in my life. I was 50 years old when I started my new career and am very proud of myself...as is my family.
If this is what you want...to be sober...you are on the right track by coming here to Sober Recover. There is a lot of support and help here.
Keep coming back...read...post...say Hi & how you are doing.
Kelsh
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I was a functioning alcoholic until I turned dysfunctional and could no longer manage anything other than my drinking. I lived first hand the progression of the disease. I kept drinking because there were no consequences. When the consequences were made clear, and my life was jeopardized, I was finally willing to make changes.
Was it worth it? Absolutely! My life is so much better. Actually, it is my attitude that has changed. I had a lot of wreckage to clear, still do, but I'm making head way. I've cleaned out the old cobwebs and have learned to cope a new way. I no longer turn to alcohol as a coping skill or as a way of comfort. I have more motivation and have a clearer head. Those are just small things that are apparent. I'm grateful to be sober and to be free from the compulsion. To me, that in itself is a huge benefit.
Was it worth it? Absolutely! My life is so much better. Actually, it is my attitude that has changed. I had a lot of wreckage to clear, still do, but I'm making head way. I've cleaned out the old cobwebs and have learned to cope a new way. I no longer turn to alcohol as a coping skill or as a way of comfort. I have more motivation and have a clearer head. Those are just small things that are apparent. I'm grateful to be sober and to be free from the compulsion. To me, that in itself is a huge benefit.
smileyologist and lord of bees
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: mourning smileys near you
Posts: 2,508
Well I think you are doing the first thing right and that is to do something about your drinking, as that will hold you back whatever you do.
I've lost jobs, places I've stayed, girlfriends, friends, valuable possessions, self respect and anything else you can think of through drink and latterly I feared for my health too which is what I probably needed to get me to seriously try stopping.
I'm doing tons of new stuff that I didn't do before - eating healthy, exercise, reading, watching films (and actually knowing what is happening in them) and stuff.
My social life has taken a severe dent mainly because I've chosen to sever some ties that weren't healthy as they'd very likely lead me to drinking again.
As for being happy with my life just now, I guess I'm not yet - I make enough to pay the bills just like you I feel like I haven't realised my potential yet either.
I got kicked out of university in my early 20's (mainly due to drink, absence, lack of commitment, partying all the time) and have never really recovered from the shock of that happening (and I used to blame everybody but myself for that, I take full responsibility now) but now I'm doing an open learning degree (was fortunate enough to be able to transfer credit over from my previous study) which I'll be able to complete as early as next year and I can honestly say that things are looking up after nearly 6 months (6 months on the 19th of this month) off the drink.
I think you'll definitely see new opportunities for yourself when you find you are able to get up and make things happen which you probably couldn't do when you were drinking - drink holds you back, limits your potential - once you settle into your sober routine you'll begin to feel more positive about yourself and hopefully be clearer about what you want to do.
By the way, 38 isn't old these days and it's never too late to start doing something new - have you thought about what directions you'd like to go in? Look at the stuff you are good at and/or enjoy doing and maybe start from there.
I've lost jobs, places I've stayed, girlfriends, friends, valuable possessions, self respect and anything else you can think of through drink and latterly I feared for my health too which is what I probably needed to get me to seriously try stopping.
I'm doing tons of new stuff that I didn't do before - eating healthy, exercise, reading, watching films (and actually knowing what is happening in them) and stuff.
My social life has taken a severe dent mainly because I've chosen to sever some ties that weren't healthy as they'd very likely lead me to drinking again.
As for being happy with my life just now, I guess I'm not yet - I make enough to pay the bills just like you I feel like I haven't realised my potential yet either.
I got kicked out of university in my early 20's (mainly due to drink, absence, lack of commitment, partying all the time) and have never really recovered from the shock of that happening (and I used to blame everybody but myself for that, I take full responsibility now) but now I'm doing an open learning degree (was fortunate enough to be able to transfer credit over from my previous study) which I'll be able to complete as early as next year and I can honestly say that things are looking up after nearly 6 months (6 months on the 19th of this month) off the drink.
I think you'll definitely see new opportunities for yourself when you find you are able to get up and make things happen which you probably couldn't do when you were drinking - drink holds you back, limits your potential - once you settle into your sober routine you'll begin to feel more positive about yourself and hopefully be clearer about what you want to do.
By the way, 38 isn't old these days and it's never too late to start doing something new - have you thought about what directions you'd like to go in? Look at the stuff you are good at and/or enjoy doing and maybe start from there.
Seriously Fun!
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: California coast
Posts: 415
Absolutly life gets soooooo much better after I got clean and sober. I still have problems in my life...but I can handle them much better. And yes, I am happier, much happier when I wake up clean and sober every day.
Administrator
Join Date: Apr 2007
Location: Australia
Posts: 211,444
I may be in the minority here but...if you're expecting miracles or instant glittering rewards from not drinking, you will probably be disappointed.
I'm a better man than I was - I'm wiser, braver, certainly happier - but I'm not more industrious, I haven't got any more ambition, I still have bad days.
You're not reaching your potential simply because you're drinking or smoking weed.
Substance abuse is just a symptom of something deeper. Just a way of avoiding dealing with stuff. But being sober is a good step towards dealing with the stuff, whatever that is
I don't mean to be a wet blanket. My life since I quit has been the best ever, but not because I've gained materially or suddenly know the answers to everything.
I like who I am now, and I know this is the right way to live
D
I'm a better man than I was - I'm wiser, braver, certainly happier - but I'm not more industrious, I haven't got any more ambition, I still have bad days.
You're not reaching your potential simply because you're drinking or smoking weed.
Substance abuse is just a symptom of something deeper. Just a way of avoiding dealing with stuff. But being sober is a good step towards dealing with the stuff, whatever that is
I don't mean to be a wet blanket. My life since I quit has been the best ever, but not because I've gained materially or suddenly know the answers to everything.
I like who I am now, and I know this is the right way to live
D
Naturally Occuring Phenomenon
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Baltimore, Maryland
Posts: 437
Since I stopped the madness almost five months ago, physically I'm a whole lot better.
The only way a person can make their life better is to go out and do it. Just quiting abusing drugs and booze is definitlely not going to do it. Sure, it will help a lot but it won't instantly improve your life completely.
The only way a person can make their life better is to go out and do it. Just quiting abusing drugs and booze is definitlely not going to do it. Sure, it will help a lot but it won't instantly improve your life completely.
Guest
Join Date: Dec 2005
Location: Southern New Hampshire
Posts: 746
Stop Speculating and do it
You are guessing about an experience you must have firsthand. The difference between thinking about being recovered and what it might be like is like thinking about electricity VS. sticking a fork into an electric outlet and experiencing the power.
The 12 steps as they are laid out in the Big Book, is what gave me the jolt.
The 12 steps as they are laid out in the Big Book, is what gave me the jolt.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Posts: 1,876
Getting sober for me didn't change my life in any profound tangible way. Most things stayed the same...same house, husband, kids, job...same amount of hours in a day...same bills to pay. LOL
The profound change came from inside...I am at peace...no more fear...I had become frightened of who I was...the risks I was taking with other peoples lives....the horror that was one drink away.
For me being free from that fear is more than I had hoped for. Everything from here on in is gravy!!
The profound change came from inside...I am at peace...no more fear...I had become frightened of who I was...the risks I was taking with other peoples lives....the horror that was one drink away.
For me being free from that fear is more than I had hoped for. Everything from here on in is gravy!!
Administrator
Join Date: Aug 2003
Location: Dancing in the Light
Posts: 61,512
Yeah, for me, stopping drinking was the beginning of big changes within me. It meant dropping all the facades I had been using and looking at myself as I really was. I removed some toxic people from my life, and in doing so, almost instantly, wonderful people came into my life. I had just moved to a new city where I didn't speak the language and I 'stumbled upon' an opportunity to volunteer and it truly changed my life. Bottom line is, you need to take action. By making one change, others will follow.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2006
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 2,391
I still have bad days, but being clean and sober means that I don't have extremely bad days. I'm not in jail and I'm alive, any day when those two things are true is a good day.
The promises are coming true.
The promises are coming true.
Member
Join Date: Jan 2008
Location: Seattle, WA
Posts: 486
Try this, write down your entire drinking / drugging history. Think about the 1st sip, all of the good times and all of the bad times.
Next, remove your drug of choice from the equation. I found in my life that the good times would still have been good without alcohol and the bad times would have either not happened or they would have been substantially better.
With that bit of insight based on the many years of research that I did on the subject in my own life, I was able to come to this conclusion without a doubt in my mind - my life is now better without alcohol.
Next, remove your drug of choice from the equation. I found in my life that the good times would still have been good without alcohol and the bad times would have either not happened or they would have been substantially better.
With that bit of insight based on the many years of research that I did on the subject in my own life, I was able to come to this conclusion without a doubt in my mind - my life is now better without alcohol.
Member
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
Posts: 1,036
Tim
Well you are not going to win the Indy 500 with flat tires. That much you know.
You may not win the Indy 500 with the best tires. You may not even place. But you will be in the race.
Sobriety won't make you what you are not, it simply allows you to be who you are. For me, that is plenty reward. I'm tired of not being in the race. After 7 weeks, I am in the race once again. And it feels great.
warren
Well you are not going to win the Indy 500 with flat tires. That much you know.
You may not win the Indy 500 with the best tires. You may not even place. But you will be in the race.
Sobriety won't make you what you are not, it simply allows you to be who you are. For me, that is plenty reward. I'm tired of not being in the race. After 7 weeks, I am in the race once again. And it feels great.
warren
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 59
welcome 'tim'
Im not recovered...but I am recovering... I wont be fully recovered till Im Dead...and even thats open to interpretation...depending on what one's beliefs are:rof
...but Iv been blessed with 13 years of continued clean & sober life...thanx to the fellowships of AA and NA and folks like these here on this site.
Yes things will get better ...if not for the simple truth that if you stay clean...a fog will lift...it will take a bit of time...but you will be thinking clearly and can figure out what it is your passionate about.
I really cant get any simpler than that...stay off drugs...go to meetings ( get phone numbers : )...get a sponsor...meet and become friends with people who are not using...
life will get a lot better...in many many ways...sure you'll have bad days and ruff times...but it's really something I couldnt begin to describe in words....
the good will totally CRUSH the bad...hands down.
good luck and keep coming back.
peace and respect,
miavin2
:bounce
Im not recovered...but I am recovering... I wont be fully recovered till Im Dead...and even thats open to interpretation...depending on what one's beliefs are:rof
...but Iv been blessed with 13 years of continued clean & sober life...thanx to the fellowships of AA and NA and folks like these here on this site.
Yes things will get better ...if not for the simple truth that if you stay clean...a fog will lift...it will take a bit of time...but you will be thinking clearly and can figure out what it is your passionate about.
I really cant get any simpler than that...stay off drugs...go to meetings ( get phone numbers : )...get a sponsor...meet and become friends with people who are not using...
life will get a lot better...in many many ways...sure you'll have bad days and ruff times...but it's really something I couldnt begin to describe in words....
the good will totally CRUSH the bad...hands down.
good luck and keep coming back.
peace and respect,
miavin2
:bounce
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
For me...a rock bottom down and outter...I had to have a spiritual change....
Mental...physical...spiritual.
I can identify much with what bugsworth said here..
"The profound change came from inside...I am at peace...no more fear...I had become frightened of who I was...the risks I was taking with other peoples lives....the horror that was one drink away."
That was me all right.
Now..I have hopes, plans, and dreams...before all I wanted was to drink, swallow pills,
control others, and gamble.
Life is taking shape at 23 months of sobriety.
I am a member of AA...and am trying to practice the AA way of living...it is an "easier
softer way" than anything I have ever tried before.
My best to you!
IO
Mental...physical...spiritual.
I can identify much with what bugsworth said here..
"The profound change came from inside...I am at peace...no more fear...I had become frightened of who I was...the risks I was taking with other peoples lives....the horror that was one drink away."
That was me all right.
Now..I have hopes, plans, and dreams...before all I wanted was to drink, swallow pills,
control others, and gamble.
Life is taking shape at 23 months of sobriety.
I am a member of AA...and am trying to practice the AA way of living...it is an "easier
softer way" than anything I have ever tried before.
My best to you!
IO
everything is already ok
Join Date: May 2005
Location: Melbourne Victoria Australia
Posts: 19,793
Its been said here already. Its sure that if you keep using it will eveually lead you to places and states that you have not yet been too yet. For me it took me to prisons, aslyums, hospitals and close to death many times. I would be dead now if I had not quit. I was for many years a member of teh walking dead.
Is it better now?
Well you decide.
I wake up most mornings with a skip in my step.
While I shave I can look at myself and smile and often do
I talk to the dogs while I eat brekky (I never even knew what brekky was)
I go to work and am content with a less paying less high flying job than I am used to.
I go to the Gym, I am currently training for a Marathon.
Most evenings I go out with friends or go to a meeting.
At the weekends I look after myself, go to movies, go for a ride, read or write, do housework
I recently met a woman, it did not work out, but has opened up so many doors for me. Thats what recovery is like for me, continually expanding horizons and new perspectives on everything.
Best of all I like myself, honor myslef, look after myself, love that I am not the center of the universe. I am able to be aware of and available to others.
As a great friend of mine said; "... these days I just feel so alive.." I second that and it no longer matters so much what kind of day it is, its life and I am lin it and living it.
I wish you well.
Kevin
Is it better now?
Well you decide.
I wake up most mornings with a skip in my step.
While I shave I can look at myself and smile and often do
I talk to the dogs while I eat brekky (I never even knew what brekky was)
I go to work and am content with a less paying less high flying job than I am used to.
I go to the Gym, I am currently training for a Marathon.
Most evenings I go out with friends or go to a meeting.
At the weekends I look after myself, go to movies, go for a ride, read or write, do housework
I recently met a woman, it did not work out, but has opened up so many doors for me. Thats what recovery is like for me, continually expanding horizons and new perspectives on everything.
Best of all I like myself, honor myslef, look after myself, love that I am not the center of the universe. I am able to be aware of and available to others.
As a great friend of mine said; "... these days I just feel so alive.." I second that and it no longer matters so much what kind of day it is, its life and I am lin it and living it.
I wish you well.
Kevin
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Posts: 59
also vinnie...on a more base level...not as spiritual on this post ...EVERYTHING for me ended up better...love making...food...sports...family...relationships... .work...music...just all of it
but what I used to feel like I had to try augment with drugs... was more tangible...more deeply felt and better appreciated...it just KEEPS GETTING BETTER...
vinnie.
but what I used to feel like I had to try augment with drugs... was more tangible...more deeply felt and better appreciated...it just KEEPS GETTING BETTER...
vinnie.
Today's Muse
Join Date: May 2007
Location: West end
Posts: 1,081
I think it is the path to sobriety and what you learn along the way that is so life altering. I took everything for granted. Now, I find joy in the simplest things. I finally know what genuine gratitude is. It can always be worse. How do I know that? Because I've been there. Hence, the gratitude. It is all about the spiritual growth and the healing of our anger and resentments that makes things better.
Member
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Atlanta
Posts: 31,179
Well, I am not recovered either...I figure that will be a lifelong process.
I do, however, have almost 13 months clean.
Is life better? Absolutely. I don't have the greatest job, but I make the best of it and have met some wonderful people, and it pays my bills. I'm still struggling with legal and financial consequences, but I am dealing with them...not hiding from them. Today, I find happiness in the little things...like spending a day with my friend and her puppy, or spending time with my niece and nephews. Things that, in the past, would have totally stressed me out (like having to pay taxes this year) are just part of life, and I'm grateful I had the money saved to pay them and still have some left over.
I'm 46, and this is the first time in my life that I've been responsible with money, dealt with family/friend issues without trying to jump in and "fix" everything, and it's great! I am working on getting my nursing license back (lost to addiction), but even if that doesn't work out, I will go back to school and do something else I like. I still have bad days, but they don't last long, and they are way better than my "best" days when I was using.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
I do, however, have almost 13 months clean.
Is life better? Absolutely. I don't have the greatest job, but I make the best of it and have met some wonderful people, and it pays my bills. I'm still struggling with legal and financial consequences, but I am dealing with them...not hiding from them. Today, I find happiness in the little things...like spending a day with my friend and her puppy, or spending time with my niece and nephews. Things that, in the past, would have totally stressed me out (like having to pay taxes this year) are just part of life, and I'm grateful I had the money saved to pay them and still have some left over.
I'm 46, and this is the first time in my life that I've been responsible with money, dealt with family/friend issues without trying to jump in and "fix" everything, and it's great! I am working on getting my nursing license back (lost to addiction), but even if that doesn't work out, I will go back to school and do something else I like. I still have bad days, but they don't last long, and they are way better than my "best" days when I was using.
Hugs and prayers!
Amy
Member
Join Date: Mar 2008
Location: Miamisburg, Ohio
Posts: 217
Welcome timitsoo, What's the problem?
If you're not alcoholic then stop drinking. If you are alcoholic stop drinking, if you find you don't like sobriety; returning to your current fun filled life is easy enough, just start drinking again.
Point being.....it's your move! First move....stop drinking and find out.
God's Peace and good luck to You
If you're not alcoholic then stop drinking. If you are alcoholic stop drinking, if you find you don't like sobriety; returning to your current fun filled life is easy enough, just start drinking again.
Point being.....it's your move! First move....stop drinking and find out.
God's Peace and good luck to You
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