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Old 04-07-2008, 10:25 AM   #1 (permalink)

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
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i'm new

Hi guys. I am a new member to the forums here but I have been reading them for quite some time. A lot of your stories have helped me to gain insight about myself and why i do the things i do. Anyhow, let me introduce myself.

I am/was a 28 year old male binge drinker. I have always known that I drink too much but I have never told myself that I was going to quit. I have been binge drinking since I was 19.Taking time off between drinking has always been the answer I use to make myself feel better about doing it again. Recently I have found that this will not work.

The last nine years I had a pattern where i would drink on an average of 3-4 days a week that were usually split up by a day in between. Sometimes I would go through a week and drink everynight. I have had 2 withdrawals. One when i was 20 and again at 24. The mental and emotional damage drinking has done to me is incalculable. I used to be a very confident person/kid and never had a problem expressing myself. Now I get depressed, anxious and I find it hard to be around new people. At one point I started to wonder what was wrong with me. I thought I was going crazy!

Now I know that alcohol is the poison that made me that way. Since the age of 26 I have been drinking less often. I was down to about once a week and sometimes down to once every 2 weeks. Even though I slowed down substantially it still makes me a complete mess when i drink and I realized I just can't handle it. IT is now time to quit.

This is where i am in my life. One thing I realized is... It is easy to think you're fine when noone else thinks you have a problem.

I guess there is a lot more to say but too much to post here.

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Old 04-07-2008, 10:35 AM   #2 (permalink)
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Wow! That's a great first post and welcome.

Yes, alcohol is absolutely poison and it poisons every part of our lives. I'm glad you recognized that you need to stop drinking. I expect that your depression and outlook on life will improve when you remove the alcohol. I never realized what a depressant it was until I stopped drinking.
Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.

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Old 04-07-2008, 10:39 AM   #3 (permalink)
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Welcome to SR. I can relate to your pattern of drinking. For a long time I could not accept I had a problem because I did not drink every day or when I did drink every day I would be able to stop or a short period. This went on for over twenty years. It always got harder to stop. It got to the point where life was becoming one continuous binge. If you are an alcoholic (and only you can answer that) it is only a matter of time before it progresses to a degree not unlike mine or many others. You are young and could have a long, healthy, and happy life ahead of you. Keep posting and keep an open mind.
Life is too short to be waisted!
Life is best lived in the present moment!
Sobriety Date: 11/16/08
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:43 AM   #4 (permalink)

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I am with you, man. It becomes such a part of your life that it seems like you can't get along without it.

Good luck to you, I am hoping to run into you here in the future.
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Old 04-07-2008, 10:52 AM   #5 (permalink)
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Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: 49 degrees north
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E (I'm not going to spell that every time!)

Welcome! You have "discovered" a wonderful place. You will soon have many friends that you didn't yesterday. This is a very safe, therapeutic place to be.

As you will soon see, there are no "unique" stories, only unique people.

The only "issue" I would take with your post is the "incalculabe damage."

Addiction can turn the most gregarious person into a hermit. It turns others into blathering fools. The "damage" you refer to is not necessarily permanent, but characteristic of folks who suffer from character issues. You have to have character to suffer those.

Alcohol damaged me that way. I became solitary and ashamed. At seven weeks, already the change in me is marked. I am free to be me.

Grab some coffee and read some posts. Don't be afraid to "jump right in." You don't need to be invited to join a conversation. Start your own conversation. Ask questions. In a couple of days you will feel right at home.

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Old 04-07-2008, 08:07 PM   #6 (permalink)

Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Orlando, FL
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Wow, this login times out fast. I posted a pretty long reply but lost it all when it tried to register me again.

Anyhow, Thank you to everybody that replied with the support. IT is much appreciated.

Warren, It seems you know exactly what I am talking about. I get anxiety from the most meaningless encounters such as a group lunch or a short talk with a neighbor. Then I sit an obsess about why I was anxious and depression takes hold. Just an emotional mess pretty much. I don't cry and i am not suicial but i am always bummed. i am glad to hear it gets better.

I know I can overcome this because I know this is not who i am. I am just starting the journey of sobriety but it seems like a bright road ahead.

If anybody has had similar emotional problems please post. I would like to hear what you have to say.

Thanks again for the warm welcome.
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Old 04-07-2008, 08:39 PM   #7 (permalink)
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Welcome E! Sheila
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Old 04-07-2008, 08:54 PM   #8 (permalink)
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Welcome to our recovery community!

Depression is why I started AA recovery.
It's been a fantastic journey.
Each Day Sober Is A Victory!!
Joy In AA Recovery!

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Old 04-07-2008, 08:57 PM   #9 (permalink)
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I have had problems with depression much of my adult life, but boy oh boy did it get worse when I was drinking. You've come to the right place for fellowship and support. Keep coming back.:ghug

I've only got nine days sober but already feel more human and less depressed. I tried and failed many times just this year, but am determined to make it this time. Together we can do this.
I'd rather live in my car with my dogs than live in a castle without them.

Dogs may not be our whole lives, but they make our lives whole.

Don't wait for the Last Judgement. It takes place every day. -Albert Camus

Find the good and praise it. - Alex Haley
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