question for all you that have recovered
Attitude of Gratitude
Join Date: Sep 2007
Location: Dayton, Ohio
Posts: 2,305
First of all, I have to agree with many others have said, I'll be recovered when I leave this earth. Until then, as my signature says, Recovery is a process, not an event.
I am working on my 33rd month in Recovery. I must say, I would not trade these past years and months for anything in the world. There's no amt. of money or material possessions that would even have me consider this.
No, Recovery hasn't handed me a perfect life on a silver platter. Since I have been Clean & Sober, my Father has passed away, my Mom's health is deteriorating daily, I have lost a few jobs (but through no fault of my own) I have a rather large bill I'm paying to the IRS, past Child Support from years ago is coming out of my checks, I've been diagnosed with Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis and I still live in the same little one bedroom apt. in not one of the best areas of town.
But you know what?
I was able to get through my Father's death without picking up. I was able to realize that he is a better place now since the Cancer that ate up his body had him in so much pain and misery. My Dad saw me get my one year token two months before he died. He told me that he couldn't have been any prouder of me if I graduated from Harvard with a law degree.
I am able to be there to help my Mom now instead of stealing all of her pills and money. She doesn't have to be afraid that I won't show up when I said I will because I'm chasing the high I need to get through the next few hours. She proudly introduces me to her Dr.'s and other Health Care Professionals instead of asking me to stay in the waiting room.
My son, who I was paying child support for because he moved in with his Dad years ago to avoid seeing me slowly killing myself on a daily basis moved back in with me the day after he graduated from high school.
My Brother now lets me keep his five year old daughter for overnights where as before he didn't trust me to keep an eye on her going to the bathroom during family get togethers. I actually forgot her in a pizza place once. She was two years old. I was too high to remember I took her with me.
My little apt. that I've lived in for several years? Before, it was a dump. I didn't have the money to buy anything to fix it up. I drank up that money or put it into my habit that I no longer got high from, just kept from being dope sick.Besides, I didn't care to fix it up. I figured any day now I'd be arrested again and on my way back to prison once more.
Or better yet, I hoped to die.
Before I got Clean & Sober. I merely walked, no , stumbled through life.
Today, I am alive!
I appreciate the birds singing in the morning. I don't throw a shoe at the window anymore out of anger from being woke up.
I no longer wish to die in my sleep.
Now, which life do you think I'd rather live?
God Bless & Thank God . . .Just for Today,
Judy
I am working on my 33rd month in Recovery. I must say, I would not trade these past years and months for anything in the world. There's no amt. of money or material possessions that would even have me consider this.
No, Recovery hasn't handed me a perfect life on a silver platter. Since I have been Clean & Sober, my Father has passed away, my Mom's health is deteriorating daily, I have lost a few jobs (but through no fault of my own) I have a rather large bill I'm paying to the IRS, past Child Support from years ago is coming out of my checks, I've been diagnosed with Lupus and Rheumatoid Arthritis and I still live in the same little one bedroom apt. in not one of the best areas of town.
But you know what?
I was able to get through my Father's death without picking up. I was able to realize that he is a better place now since the Cancer that ate up his body had him in so much pain and misery. My Dad saw me get my one year token two months before he died. He told me that he couldn't have been any prouder of me if I graduated from Harvard with a law degree.
I am able to be there to help my Mom now instead of stealing all of her pills and money. She doesn't have to be afraid that I won't show up when I said I will because I'm chasing the high I need to get through the next few hours. She proudly introduces me to her Dr.'s and other Health Care Professionals instead of asking me to stay in the waiting room.
My son, who I was paying child support for because he moved in with his Dad years ago to avoid seeing me slowly killing myself on a daily basis moved back in with me the day after he graduated from high school.
My Brother now lets me keep his five year old daughter for overnights where as before he didn't trust me to keep an eye on her going to the bathroom during family get togethers. I actually forgot her in a pizza place once. She was two years old. I was too high to remember I took her with me.
My little apt. that I've lived in for several years? Before, it was a dump. I didn't have the money to buy anything to fix it up. I drank up that money or put it into my habit that I no longer got high from, just kept from being dope sick.Besides, I didn't care to fix it up. I figured any day now I'd be arrested again and on my way back to prison once more.
Or better yet, I hoped to die.
Before I got Clean & Sober. I merely walked, no , stumbled through life.
Today, I am alive!
I appreciate the birds singing in the morning. I don't throw a shoe at the window anymore out of anger from being woke up.
I no longer wish to die in my sleep.
Now, which life do you think I'd rather live?
God Bless & Thank God . . .Just for Today,
Judy
same planet...different world
Join Date: Sep 2006
Location: Butte, America
Posts: 10,946
Hi Timi ....
I've only been sober for nineteen months and I'm far from recovered.
I've been poor - and I've been rich.
I prefer .. rich.
Right now - not so much.
Financially rich, that is.
But I'd utterly and completely ...
destroyed my life drinking.
I've built this life back more than once on this Earthwalk.
This is my last time.
I've had tons of passions,
several 'careers' ...
and far more than my fair share of 'adventures'.
Nothing has ever outweighed my passion ... for horses.
The whole thing is -
the point of all this, I mean.. this recovery deal...
to focus your life on something other than alcohol and getting high.
Touch the World around you ... and others ... in beauty.
Then ... we use the tools we pick up (learn) by recovering ...
and apply those tools to dig further.
Go even further within.
To the Source.
Who's to say a 'passion' won't emerge from that ?
Who are WE to say a life has a purpose or not?
If we do things one at a time,
we are no longer the slaves of our addictions.
Our lives have bad days, and good days.
Our friends are aour friends because we're better human beings.
Not because we're 'holding' or because we're due to buy another round.
Nobody is handing out lollipops for being sober.
Not that I've noticed, anyhow.
But with a life and momentum into life ... that is focused ON life ..
and not on addiction ...
NOT on self - destruction ...
not on self ... period ...
it's kinda indicitave of a BETTER life.
Just ... in and of itself.
All we have ... is today.
Get yourself well first.
Physically.
Then emotionally.
Mentally, whatever.
Each in their own time.
Seems to me thats your first task.
Be in today.
Cuz when we wake up tomorrow -
it's still ... today.
I've only been sober for nineteen months and I'm far from recovered.
I've been poor - and I've been rich.
I prefer .. rich.
Right now - not so much.
Financially rich, that is.
But I'd utterly and completely ...
destroyed my life drinking.
I've built this life back more than once on this Earthwalk.
This is my last time.
I've had tons of passions,
several 'careers' ...
and far more than my fair share of 'adventures'.
Nothing has ever outweighed my passion ... for horses.
The whole thing is -
the point of all this, I mean.. this recovery deal...
to focus your life on something other than alcohol and getting high.
Touch the World around you ... and others ... in beauty.
Then ... we use the tools we pick up (learn) by recovering ...
and apply those tools to dig further.
Go even further within.
To the Source.
Who's to say a 'passion' won't emerge from that ?
Who are WE to say a life has a purpose or not?
If we do things one at a time,
we are no longer the slaves of our addictions.
Our lives have bad days, and good days.
Our friends are aour friends because we're better human beings.
Not because we're 'holding' or because we're due to buy another round.
Nobody is handing out lollipops for being sober.
Not that I've noticed, anyhow.
But with a life and momentum into life ... that is focused ON life ..
and not on addiction ...
NOT on self - destruction ...
not on self ... period ...
it's kinda indicitave of a BETTER life.
Just ... in and of itself.
All we have ... is today.
Get yourself well first.
Physically.
Then emotionally.
Mentally, whatever.
Each in their own time.
Seems to me thats your first task.
Be in today.
Cuz when we wake up tomorrow -
it's still ... today.
IO Storm
Join Date: Mar 2007
Location: Southern California
Posts: 18,436
Get yourself well first.
Physically.
Then emotionally.
Mentally, whatever.
Each in their own time.
Seems to me thats your first task.
Be in today.
Great ..just great advice from Barb.....
Physically.
Then emotionally.
Mentally, whatever.
Each in their own time.
Seems to me thats your first task.
Be in today.
Great ..just great advice from Barb.....
Member
Join Date: Nov 2006
Location: Murrieta, Ca
Posts: 2,683
I have recovered from a hopeless state of mind and body, so......
I do make more money than I used to, true. And my passion for music (Keyboards) has returned with a vengeance !
But that's just materialistic.
What I've found is the joy in helping others recover, and watching them grow as they recover (while helping me maintain my sobriety.) My life has a new purpose and meaning.
I do make more money than I used to, true. And my passion for music (Keyboards) has returned with a vengeance !
But that's just materialistic.
I'm dying to be passionate about something. People all around me seem to have desires and goals, etc etc and I want in on that action.
mle-sober
Join Date: Feb 2008
Location: Golden, CO
Posts: 1,243
Like a few others here, I'm not sure I understand why you are even asking the question. While drinking and smoking, you clearly have not found much happiness and are lethargic and unmotivated. I have to wonder if one of the reasons for that is that you think and worry so much about taking ANY course of action, you take none. Which leads you to meaningless life lacking in imagination.
I am only 60 days sober. But the risk and pain (yes, pain can be good) of surrendering to sobriety and moving forward into the unknown future has felt like a good thing to me. I am in turmoil much of the time right now, with a lot of confusion and fear about alien terrain (at 39 - 1st time I ever got sober) and not knowing who I am. But these questions and feelings have energized me and given me reason to live. I feel hopeful and I feel proud of myself. I feel curious and passionate about the future.
Sobriety is not like deciding what flavor of icecream to have. Or it isn't to me, anyway. And it's not like deciding whether or not to take a continuing education class about botany. It's about realizing you are powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable and that you desperately need help. It's about taking the next step after that.
Good luck however you do it.
I am only 60 days sober. But the risk and pain (yes, pain can be good) of surrendering to sobriety and moving forward into the unknown future has felt like a good thing to me. I am in turmoil much of the time right now, with a lot of confusion and fear about alien terrain (at 39 - 1st time I ever got sober) and not knowing who I am. But these questions and feelings have energized me and given me reason to live. I feel hopeful and I feel proud of myself. I feel curious and passionate about the future.
Sobriety is not like deciding what flavor of icecream to have. Or it isn't to me, anyway. And it's not like deciding whether or not to take a continuing education class about botany. It's about realizing you are powerless over alcohol and that your life is unmanageable and that you desperately need help. It's about taking the next step after that.
Good luck however you do it.
Member
Thread Starter
Join Date: Apr 2008
Location: Colorado Springs, CO
Posts: 5
yes, after reading all your responses, it's really amazing how many similarities I see between us. Not our paths, but just the way in which with using I'm just stumbling through live, not living it.
Wouldn't ya know, the day I wrote this, I had good absolve to stay sober. I go to pick up my son to take him to a skating event thursday night. I'm divorced, so I go to pick him up and my ex's boyfriend is in the liquor industry. Of course he doesn't know what I'm doing since he's not a mind reader, so he hands me 2 free bottles of wine. Un-friggen believable. My dumb ass takes em.
Well, I had to start this all over again. I'm weak with things like that. Like then Friday afternoon I went for this big mountain bike ride. Fun, but then I couldn't say no to the beer run afterwards. So, I'm not being as strong as I should be. It gets me mad and makes me think I should just announce it to the world so maybe people will understand when I say no and not carry on about it. I've read tons on this site about that already. Anyway, I'm working on it and sincerely appreciate all your responses. I do know that I like the bright eyed feeling of waking up fresh and not hung over. That right there is worth not drinking sometimes. Okay, off to enjoy a sober Sunday.
timitsoo
Wouldn't ya know, the day I wrote this, I had good absolve to stay sober. I go to pick up my son to take him to a skating event thursday night. I'm divorced, so I go to pick him up and my ex's boyfriend is in the liquor industry. Of course he doesn't know what I'm doing since he's not a mind reader, so he hands me 2 free bottles of wine. Un-friggen believable. My dumb ass takes em.
Well, I had to start this all over again. I'm weak with things like that. Like then Friday afternoon I went for this big mountain bike ride. Fun, but then I couldn't say no to the beer run afterwards. So, I'm not being as strong as I should be. It gets me mad and makes me think I should just announce it to the world so maybe people will understand when I say no and not carry on about it. I've read tons on this site about that already. Anyway, I'm working on it and sincerely appreciate all your responses. I do know that I like the bright eyed feeling of waking up fresh and not hung over. That right there is worth not drinking sometimes. Okay, off to enjoy a sober Sunday.timitsoo
Forward we go...side by side-Rest In Peace
Join Date: Jun 2002
Location: Serene In Dixie
Posts: 36,740
A friend and I had lunch out today.
The waiter took our order and returned with a bottle of wine
We had won a door prize for being customers #100.
.
We burst out
...saying in unison
"No thanks...we are AA members"
There is no shame in working towards recovery.
There is shame in continuing to be a drunk...
when there is a solution.
Hope you find your way into sobriety.
The waiter took our order and returned with a bottle of wine
We had won a door prize for being customers #100.
.
We burst out
...saying in unison "No thanks...we are AA members"
There is no shame in working towards recovery.
There is shame in continuing to be a drunk...
when there is a solution.
Hope you find your way into sobriety.
Currently Active Users Viewing this Thread: 1 (0 members and 1 guests)
