dave47

Hi Tay, for the last few years i drank mainly beer and i don't keep any in the house,so I think i would be alright. i can walk past a pub, off licence or alcohol in the shops; but i wouldn't want to put it to the test. We do have vodka and wine in the house, which my wife drinks on occasion. With me, i wouldn't really touch those unless i was well into a session anyway so i think they are safe.
I think being around alcohol isn't a problem for me as long i keep working on it not being a problem, not wanting to drink and avoiding trigger situations.
I don't now consider myself a dry drunk, i'm working on myself and i believe i'm doing fine.
Hope it all comes together for you Tay, enjoy your posts and best wishes to you.

ROFL

I can't dump it because my husband is an alcoholic. It will just come back. I can't expect him to quit drinking just because I knew I needed to. We've had 20 years together as alcoholics. He's just not in the same place as me. But it really makes it hard.

Tay-lyn, I for one LOVE your analogies. I understand you weren't make a literal comparison; just explaining that you knew you had to be around alcohol much like a shopoholic needs to buy things and a person with food addictions still need to eat.

I think it's more about eliminating the triggers to drink than eliminating the drink. I think you are right in your blog about learning the why's so you can figure out how to correct the problem, rather than simply avoiding the ultimate consequence of the problem, we need to figure out what it is that makes us not be able to resist it when it's close at hand.

Sure it would be easier to keep from picking up if you had to run down to the corner liquor store instead of to the liquor cabinet, but does that fix the problem?

tay-lyn

That was exactly the point I was trying to make.

However, I understand that others aren't always going to share my opinion, and I need to take a deep breath when I feel someone isn't 'getting' what I'm trying to say. Another thing to add to my list of things to work on!

For me, just not having it around, doesn't solve the problem, I can simply jump in my vehicle and slide down the street to the liquor store. Or, go out to my husbands beer fridge in the garage which will never ever cease to be full! So for me, not having it at the end of my arm doesn't solve anything. I want to understand WHY am I wanting to pick up so bad.....that comes from inside, some emotional dysfunction. Now that it has been almost 40 days clean, I'm not getting physical cravings, I don't think I ever did! I drink to hide.

But that's juss me!

Thanks for your comment. As shallow as it may be of me, it makes me feel comforted when others understand where I'm coming from.

Tay.

ROFL

Your beer refrigerator is in the garage? My husband's is on the back patio!

Captain Kirk

Hi!
Tough dilemma! Couldn't you talk to your husband, tell him you're trying not to drink and he could make it a bit easier for you if he were to not drink in your prescence for a while and not keep booze at home, for a while at least.

warrens

Tay-Lyn and others

There are so many people here with so many different issues, backgrounds, approaches, etc. The roots of people's problems vary widely as well. There seems to be only one common bond. The desire to recover from addiction. Aside from the few self pity folks who are merely here to cry in public, everyone here has taken a very bold and courageous step. Even the self pitiers have somehow found and typed the URL.

There are proven methods and less proven methods. It is no surprise that the AA appraoach dominates. It works and there are millions with whom one can "speak the same language." It works for me.

I don't think people should be afraid of sharing any approach here. As I was reminded the other day, I think a responsibility comes with that. Sharing is very much different than recommending, advising, or even suggesting.

As I have said, M'Lady enjoys her Vodka and wine. She's "normal." Although I do enjoy good wine, I've never been a regular liqour drinker. the presence fo her liter of vodka poses no threat to me. A six of microbrew in the fridge at this point might be a different issue. Would I recommend this approach to anyone else? No way. It would be human malpractice. But, do I have to "hide" my approach? Aren't we all tired of hiding?

There's a guy here who apparently has weaned himself from a very big habit. He is now a month sober. Reading his stuff made me cringe. I could never "wean" myself and my habit was far less than his. But he's done it.

I think sobriety is to be celebrated wherever and pretty much however it exists. Unless it has been replaced by another addiction.

There is a real world out there. The alcohol addict faces something that others have to struggle less with, I think. Alcohol is not only leagal, it is "pushed" everywhere. I don't think any other substance carries a stigma for NOT using it. Thus, we must be prepared for and accept that real world or join a monastery in Tibet.

You sound really on top of things, Tay-Lyn. You sound as though you are recovering on many levels, not just a biochemical level. I think that is very important for me and you seem to feel the same. If I cannot deal with the triggers and roots of my disease, I feel totally unvaccinated and vulnerable. I must be able to handle successful and cognitively any situation that I might come across. I must remove any excuse, including the presence of alcohol, for picking up a drink. That is the recovery I seek. Full immunity. It will take whatever time it takes, but I do know that as long as I am totally sober, I am captain of my cerebral ship. It is after the first drink that I become a mutineer.

Best to you and I really enjoy reading your posts.

warrens

confused1234

i agree with some other posts that in the beginning, it is wise to keep the alcohol out of the house. then you soon later you have to except it and you are more able to turn it down months later. your husband should respect that for a few months.

tay-lyn

Warrens, I like reading your replies/posts/comments as well. You are very articulate!
FOR ME having the alcohol in the house doesn't make it any harder to NOT drink. If it wasn't in the house, I could call my gf who lives next door and tell her I'm popping by for a glass, and we would sit and drink all afternoon (she has a fully stocked wine room).
You're so right about alcohol being 'pushed' on us. I believe it is a drug as well, simply a 'legal' drug.
I can't even go to the grocery store without free samples being offered to me! Right there, at the end of the checkout line is the wine store, just a few feet away. Right in the entrance are free mini cups of wine. You can't walk by without smelling it. I don't know what you call it, but I call it 'pushing'.
That's just ONE example of many.
And what an excellant point you make....no other substance has a negative stigma for abstenence. You make some great points.

And Confused, you make the same point some others have, that I talk to my husband. I have. But he is still drinking in front of me. He is acting strange about my recovery. When I got home from my AA meeting yesterday, he didn't say two words to me for over two hours. So we have some work to do together, a few more talks are needed and some patience on my part.

Anyways, thanks for the comments!